Evil Dead: Regeneration (2005 Video Game)
Bruce Campbell: Ash
Quotes
-
Ash : [holding a deadite head] What's that? You can't believe you just got your ass kicked by a one-handed nut job? What's that? Oh, you think I'm your daddy! Listen up, shake and bake, I eat evil for breakfast and danger for dinner, so spread the word. Ash... is back... in business.
-
Ash : I'll bet you ten to one... that hurt.
-
Ash : [to Sally] You know, I bet you could be some kind of a knockout if you traded in the granny wear for some high thigh stockings and a bra that pushed up your yams.
-
Ash : Let's make a deal. You shut up now, and the next time I possess you, I won't pour hot coffee down your pants.
-
Sam : Hey, who left the stove on? Know what this furnace reminds me of?
Ash : I have no idea.
Sam : Johnny Sticks. Him and me, we used to be connected.
Ash : Connected to what? The union of verbally challenged half deadites?
Sam : You know, "connected"! Me and Sticks, the guy was thin as a toothpick, we were top earners.
Ash : I thought you were an ice cream driver.
Sam : I was a lot of things, you know for cover. Me and Sticks used to pose as chimney sweeps, sneaking out of furnace vents with the loot. Sticks must have put on a couple of pounds cause he got himself stuck. Furnace comes on and *boom*! Then, err...
Ash : And then you played "pick up sticks" right?
Sam : I don't deserve sarcasm.
-
Ash : You know, you starting to make me think that the world ending can be any more painful than listening to you!
-
Ash : When you get to hell, tell 'em Ash sent ya!
-
Ash : Can't you act like a normal corpse for just *two* minutes!
-
Ash : Ever heard of a time out? Because the next "time" you talk, I'm gonna knock you the hell "out!"
-
Ash : I need to cut back on my medication, or double it.
-
Ash : Hey Napoleon, open that gate for me and make it snappy.
Sam : I don't know who you think you are, but I demand respect!
Ash : Oh, you want respect? Then stop complaining to my crotch!
Sam : OOOOH! You just made a big mistake buddy, you've messed with the wrong midget! I'll shove my boot so far up your ass, you need a shoe horn to swallow!
Ash : Well, even your temper's short!
Sam : The portal's is this way. We'll need to find a way around.
Ash : No, no. YOU need to find away around.
Sam : Don't push me, two-stroke!
-
Ash : This is crazy, even for a nut house!
-
Ash : Have you ever heard the phrase, "Ask a stupid question, eat a chainsaw"?
-
Ash : Runt, I'm about two ticks away from cleaning your clock!
-
Ash : [after reacquiring his trusty chainsaw] Hahahah! Now THIS is therapy!
-
Ash : [seeing Sparky getting electrocuted] Hmmm... seems like someone ordered extra crispies!
-
Ash : [facing Sparky] Conserve your energy, Sparky, 'cause you will need every stickin' volt!
-
Ash : Um, sorry to interupt your beauty sleep lady...
Necromancer Queen : [turning around and hissing] Heeeeeeh.
Ash : Whoa, let's not kid ourselves, it'd take a few million more winks to make a dent in that grill.
Necromancer Queen : Souls.
Ash : Alright if that's the way you want it...
[draws boomstick]
Ash : ...come get some
-
Ash : Got time for one more session, Doc? I'm ready to resolve my anger issues!
-
[Reinhard is about to sacrifice Sally when he gets shot from behind by Ash]
Ash : Knock, knock.
Sally : ASH!
Dr. Reinhard : ASH!... impossible.
[Ash and Sam recoil from Dr. Reinhard's ugliness]
Ash : We should consider ourselves lucky runt, he could of set up shop in the house of mirrors.
Dr. Reinhard : I underestimated you Ash, and you too Sam. how are you my little failed experiment? Still DEAD I'm guessing?
Sam : Real funny you sadistic nutjob, why don't you... go hump a stump!
[everyone pauses for a minute and Reinhard looks confused]
Ash : Er, why don't you let me handle the witty banter from now on?
