Squidbillies (2005–2021)
Mary Kraft: Krystal, Mom - Live Action Commercial, TV Stand-up Comedian
Quotes
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Krystal : How is your daddy?
Rusty : Oh, he's good, he's good. Just got out of prison not too long ago.
Krystal : No I'm sorry, "Who". I mean who's your daddy?
Rusty : Uh, Early Cuyler.
Krystal : Tall guy?
Rusty : No.
Krystal : Big belly?
Rusty : No.
Krystal : Red hair?
Rusty : Not the one.
Krystal : Kinda looks like Charlie Sheen?
Rusty : Not him neither.
Krystal : Or is Charlie Sheen?
Rusty : No, not Charlie Sheen.
Krystal : Is he a football team?
Rusty : Nope.
Krystal : Is he the groundskeeping crew for the football team?
Rusty : No.
Krystal : Are you sure it's not Charlie Sheen?
Rusty : No Mama!
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[Rusty and Krystal are looking at pictures]
Krystal : Well, then there's one of me. Here's one of them what you call 'em Glamour Shots what have you. Whaddaya know, there's me. No, that's a bus.