Expiration Date (2006)
Robert A. Guthrie: Charlie Silvercloud
Quotes
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Charlie : It's one of our nicest plots and most peaceful.
Cemetary plot salesman : How much?
Charlie : Well, view plot at $4,803.55, plus our eternity contract $1,227.04, plus tax at 8.3 percent equals...
Cemetary plot salesman : $6,531.13.
Charlie : Why... yes.
Cemetary plot salesman : Do you have anything less peaceful?
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Charlie : Hello.
Telephone Guy : Yeah, it said to call on your door.
[trying to find Bessie]
Charlie : Oh! No, that's meant for someone else.
Telephone Guy : Well, how am I supposed to know that?
Charlie : You're right, that's misleading. I'll be sure to be more specific in the future.
Telephone Guy : Will you let me know if you change your mind?
Charlie : Yes. OK, goodbye.
Telephone Guy : Call me!
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Charlie : William, do you remember this dog?
Wild William : Sure. Dies well, like a good soldier
[talking about Roadkill]
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Lucille : Shouldn't you be with Alicia, you know, out having fun? Maybe, a little unprotected sex? She has such great child-bearing hips.
Charlie : I know you want grandchildren but I'm not going to impregnate some poor young girl and leave a curse on her unborn child.
Lucille : Thank you very much, that's my life you just described.
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Charlie : William, hi, it's Charlie. Listen, I got kinda a quick, military, commando-type question.
Wild William : Military, commando-type question. Go.
Charlie : How do you get over a 6 ft. high fence with electrical wire on top?
Wild William : You don't. You go under it. Dig a hole, paint your face with mud for camaflogue. Become the ground.