The Mighty Boosh (2003–2007)
Julian Barratt: Howard Moon, Dennis, Brian Ferry, Crack Fox, Jurgen Haabemaaster, Lucien, Milky Joe, Mr. Susan, New Zoo-Keeper, Rudy, Rudy Van Disarzio, Sandstorm, The New Moon
Photos
Quotes
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Howard Moon : The wind is my only friend.
Wind : [whistling] I hate you.
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Vince Noir : Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard?
Howard Moon : This better be good.
Vince Noir : You know the black bits in bananas, are they tarantulas' eggs?
Howard Moon : Please don't speak to me ever again in your life.
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Old Gregg : What do you think of me?
Howard Moon : I don't rightly know, Sir.
Old Gregg : Make an assessment.
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[Vince and Howard have been buried up to their necks and left for dead in the desert]
Vince Noir : Howard? You think it's going to be alright?
Howard Moon : No. We're gonna die in the most horrific way known to man.
[sighs in resignation]
Vince Noir : [smiling] Had some good times, though, didn't we?
Howard Moon : Yeah...
Vince Noir : Huh... yeah...
Howard Moon : [wistfully] Remember the time we had that soup?
Vince Noir : That was brilliant.
[they start singing]
Howard Moon , Vince Noir : Soup! Soup! A tasty... Soup! Soup! A spicy, carrot and coriander...
Vince Noir : ...chili chowder!
Howard Moon , Vince Noir : Crouton! Crouton! Crunchy friends in a liquid broth.
Howard Moon , Vince Noir : I am gazpachio... OH! I am a summer soup... Mm!
Howard Moon , Vince Noir : Miso! Miso! Fighting in the dojo. Miso! Miso! Oriental prince in the land of soup!
[they stop singing]
Vince Noir : Classic times.
Howard Moon : [shaking his head] Crazy days...
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The Spirit of Jazz : Ow! My hat's on fire! What's wrong with you? You blind? Why didn't ya tell me?
Howard Moon : Sorry, I thought that was your look
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[repeated line]
Howard Moon : Don't kill me, I've got so much to give!
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Howard Moon : I don't accessorize. I'm Howard Moon. There's a simple truth to me.
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Howard Moon : I want to be the greatest Jazz player in Yorkshire.
The Spirit of Jazz : Yorkshire? What is Yorkshire?
Howard Moon : Yorkshire is a place. Yorkshire is a state of mind.
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Lucien : You should never go out on Black Lake when the moon be full.
Vince Noir : Why?
Lucien : Because there's somethin' out there... somethin' evil... somethin' that goes by the name of Old Gregg...
[creepy music]
Vince Noir : ...who?
Lucien : Ol' Gregg. Legendary fish. Some say he's half man, half fish. Others say it's more of a seventy-thirty split. Whatever the percentage, he's one fishy bastard.
Colin : Some say he's a ghost. Can't catch what don't exists. Hook goes right through 'im.
Lucien : Some say he's acquired the taste of human meat, won't respond to conventional bait. Only way to hook him is to use a child's toe.
The Moon : And some say, Old Gregg is like a, a big fish finger, but big! Like um, like a garage. As big as a garage. Imagine that fish finger, when you can see it is as big as a garage, oh! It isn't small, it's the big one! Like that.
[smiles]
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Howard Moon : Vince, you've gone wrong.
Vince Noir : I am the Chosen One. I have the amulet.
Howard Moon : Yeah, well maybe it's time I had the amulet for a bit.
Vince Noir : You don't accessorise. There's a simple truth to you.
Howard Moon : Give me the amulet, you bitch!
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Howard Moon : Just imagine the headlines 'Howard Moon, Colon, Explorer'. Got a ring to that don't it?
Vince Noir : Colon Explorer?
Howard Moon : You know what I saying.
Vince Noir : I think that's got the wrong ring to it.
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Vince Noir : I hate jazz!
Howard Moon : You hate jazz? You fear jazz! You fear the lack of rules. Skiddly biddly dee wop ba-wow...
Vince Noir : Stop it.
Howard Moon : Bop. Dah wop, skiddly doo wah...
Vince Noir : STOP THE EVIL!
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Howard Moon : I'm an explorer.
Vince Noir : I thought you were a writer?
Howard Moon : I do many things. I span the genres - they call me the genre spanner.
Vince Noir : Yeah, they call you the spanner...
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Howard Moon : Kodiak! It's me, Howard Moon, we spoke on the phone this morning.
Kodiak Jack : The what?
Howard Moon : The telephone...
Kodiak Jack : Ohh, the talky stick! Your voice was trapped in there this morning.
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Vince Noir : Calm a llama down.
Howard Moon : Calm a llama down.
Vince Noir , Howard Moon : Deep down in the ocean blue like a barnacle/ Sitting in a tight place/ Laughing like a monkey arm/ Pulling like a China boy/ Carraway carraway carraway noise/ Boing, chika masala/ Boing, chika masala/ oh tooth tooth/
[suck in air]
Vince Noir , Howard Moon : !
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Tommy Nooka : [singing] Cheese is a kind of meat/ A tasty yellow beef./ I milk it from my teat./ But I try to be discrete./ Oh cheese!/ O cheese!
Vince Noir : [Tommy repeats song] Is that your hero?
Howard Moon : Yeah, he's gone a bit wrong.
Vince Noir : I'm going to stick with Jagger.
[Tommy begins beatboxing]
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Howard Moon : You used to be a zookeeper, this is where your heart was. What about the zoo?
Vince Noir : [bleeped] F*** the zoo
Howard Moon : [shocked] What did you say?
Vince Noir : [bleeped] I said, f*** the zoo
Howard Moon : I can't believe you're saying that. What about the animals?
Vince Noir : [bleeped] F*** the animals! They're all a bunch of w******!
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Head Shaman : Sometimes I wonder about the team I have assembled here...
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Vince Noir : Lady Fame is always banging on my door!
Howard Moon : That's not Lady Fame, though, is it? That's Ms Pelham, she talks to mushrooms.
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Rudy : Now I must go away and come to an understanding of why I was right and you were wrong!
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The Hitcher : I'm your Second Cousin, Twice Removed, ON YOUR SISTER'S SIDE!
Howard Moon : NOOOOOOOOOO!
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Head Shaman : Methuselah! Who were you in there with?
Methuselah : Ay jung undt heindsum myan!
