- Madame: You're working here ten months?
- Jake: Almost eleven.
- Madame: So you should know the rules of the house like the back of your hand. Get it on and get it off.
- Jake: Is there something wrong with my stage routine?
- Madame: Your offstage routine is a little off. I mean, for a straight boy.
- Jake: You didn't like me being with girls. Now that ain't an issue, you still have a problem.
- Madame: I just worry that your little... liebelei... might be lightening your load.
- Jake: Has anyone complained?
- Madame: No, not yet, but I know how this goes. Believe me, Jake.
- Jake: I'm teaching him the basics.
- Madame: Why don't you start teaching him right now?
- Jake: What do you mean?
- Madame: I have a request for Frank; so, you might open a new chapter in your... teaching program and introduce him to the art of your well-appreciated private shows.
- Emma: Now, stick it in.
- Frank: How?
- Emma: Just, uh, with your hands. Go on.
- Frank: With my hands?
- Emma: Shove it in. Yeah.
- Frank: Oh... god.
- Emma: That's it. Go a little easy. Go on. More. Deeper!
- Frank: [laughing] Up the butt.
- [doorbell rings]
- Emma: Jakey?
- Jake: [from the other room] Yeah?
- Emma: Can you get that? We're just, uh, fisting a turkey.