- A Hollywood legend invites her not-so-normal family home for the holidays.
- After 10 years of family squabbling, the Myers family returns to California to spend Christmas with the family matriarch to patch up old ruins. With the whole family in attendance, what starts out as a nice family event goes comically wrong when Grandma dies and the family, all afraid of ruining Christmas, refuses to acknowledge her death. Further complicating matters, everyone thinks that cousin Sonny, who seems to have Mafia related ties, has offed Grandma to get ahold of her fortune. When Sonny's Mafia friend arrives, it becomes everyone's job to try to make Grandma look alive, to save Christmas--and, they think, their lives.
- Lana simply must look good for her family, so the aging, washed-up movie actress demands that her gay hairdresser miss Dr. Phil's special Christmas programming to make herself presentable. Also, a Danish director is considering her for a role in a new movie. At her age, parts are hard to get. And she worries her ex, also a movie star from the past, might get a role instead of her. Though she is still quite beautiful, and talented.
Harry is an only child, but his wife June believes this is because Lana is so mean she ate all the other children. Actually, Lana is quite charming, but demanding.
Uncle Teddy is an NFL player whose drugs are causing side effects. He has a hot wife Sally who keeps in shape, but Teddy has developed a taste for fat women. From one conversation Sally has with June, I have to conclude June and Sally are sisters, but I can't recall this being stated.
The two grandkids show up and cause problems. Jack is a vegan and can't stand that his father wants to shoot dinner. Add to that the fact that a neighbor girl tells Harry her guinea pigs are missing and asks for his help finding them. He finds them, and the pets may very well become the main course.
Jack's sister Julie is a cute blonde who has a brain but doesn't tend to use it. But her poor boyfriend Matt, who looks like Scott Baio, doesn't know what he's in for. There's no pleasing this dysfunctional family, and every attempt to fit in meets with disaster.
Grandpa Clark has been separated from Lana for years. He is a Scrooge who acts like someone else named Rooney; he hasn't got a good thing to say about anyone or anything. And his memory is going. He doesn't know who these people are. Every time he is introduced to a grandchild, he can't believe how many there are. The others even convince him that the black pizza delivery boy is one of his.
Sonny is doing the cooking. No one is quite sure who he is. Supposedly he is family, but no one in the family is Italian. Sonny acts like a mobster and some of the others are afraid of him. Particularly when his friend Johnny the Whack shows up. They claim to be garbagemen.
Eventually the director of the movie Lana wants to be in shows up.
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