T.Bag's Christmas Turkey (1991 TV Movie)

Georgina Hale: T. Bag

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Tabatha Bag : Oh, the place hasn't changed a bit. Depressing as ever.

  T-Shirt : Looks great to me.

  Tabatha Bag : Yes, well you didn't have to spend the first four hundred years of your life here, did you?

  T-Shirt : I can't wait to meet your mother. Is she anything like you? Or isn't she into biting the heads off live chickens?

  Tabatha Bag : My mother's nothing like me.

  T-Shirt : Ah, things are looking up.

  Tabatha Bag : Leaving home was the best move I ever made.

  T-Shirt : Anybody would think you didn't like living with your mother.

  Tabatha Bag : I felt like Pinocchio trapped in a lift with a woodpecker. Peck, peck, peck.

• Mumsie : Don't forget I'm the mug that had to change your nappies.

  Tabatha Bag : Mumsie, remember, every mother has to do that.

  Mumsie : Yes, but not for thirtytwo years.

• Mumsie : Well, I'll drop you a postcard from the Matterhorn.

  [leaves, mouth 'bye' to T. Shirt] 

  Tabatha Bag : [to T. Shirt]  Better still, drop yourself from the Matterhorn.

• Old King Wenceslas : [disguised as a beggar]  Show a bit of seasonal cheer lady.

  Tabatha Bag : Oh, bug off, you little rat faced ferret, before I rip out your tongue and whip you black and blue with it.

  Old King Wenceslas : I take that as a no, then?

  Tabatha Bag : Bug off!

• [last lines] 

  Tabatha Bag : [picking up a giant Christmas cracker]  Shall we?

  Mumsie : Why not? I could do with a good laugh.