The Three Stooges (2012)

Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola: Sammi

Quotes 

• Sammi : Now look: either you kick Moe off the show, or we're suing him!

  Snooki : Like, with a lawyer!

  Moe's Hip Executive : Court sounds okay to me.

  Moe's Hip Executive : [to his assistant]  You know, we could probably do a cross-promotion with Lockup.

  Snooki : Great, just great. So basically, what you're saying is this whole show is about the ratings?

  Moe's Hip Executive : Uh, yeah.

  Ronnie , The Situation : Ohhh!

  [Ronnie, The Situation and the other cast members groan in annoyance] 

  Sammi : Unbelievable.

  Moe : [pointing to Snooki's "Guinness" hat]  Look, just 'cause she's wearing a "genius" hat, doesn't mean she is one.

• Ronnie : How's that Whynatte?

  The Situation : This is, like, my fourth or fifth.

  Sammi : What happened last night?

  The Situation : What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.

  Moe : Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?

  JWoww : Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.

  The Situation : [laughter]  Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?

  Ronnie : Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.

  Moe : Oh, you don't like that cheese.

  Ronnie : No.

  Moe : Well, let's see what we can do about that.

  [Moe picks up the cheese grater] 

  Ronnie : What are you doing?

  Teddy : [watching "Jersey Shore" from his bedroom with Lydia]  Oh boy, here we go.

  Moe : [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot]  How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!

  Ronnie : Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!

  Moe : Here's your pepper. Shut up!

  [Moe slaps Ronnie] 

  The Situation : My man!

  Moe : Who asked you, muscle-head!

  [Moe quickly finger-pokes The Situation's eyes] 

  Sammi : Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!

  Moe : Oh, no? Well, can I do this?

  [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril] 

  Sammi : Hmm, rare bouquet.

  JWoww : Are you kidding me? Who does this?

• Ronnie : How's that Whynatte?

  The Situation : This is, like, my fourth or fifth.

  Sammi : What happened last night?

  The Situation : What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.

  Moe : Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?

  JWoww : Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.

  [laughter] 

  The Situation : Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?

  Ronnie : Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.

  Moe : Oh, you don't like that cheese.

  Ronnie : No.

  Moe : Well, let's see what we can do about that.

  [Moe picks up the cheese grater] 

  Ronnie : What are you doing?

  Teddy : [watching "Jersey Shore" from his bedroom with Lydia]  Oh boy, here we go.

  Moe : [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot]  How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!

  Ronnie : Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!

  Moe : Here's your pepper, shut up!

  [Moe slaps Ronnie] 

  The Situation : My man!

  Moe : [Moe finger-pokes The Situation in the eyes]  Who asked you, muscle-head!

  Sammi : Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!

  Moe : Oh, no? Well, can I do this?

  [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril] 

  Sammi : Ow!

  Moe : Hmm, rare bouquet.

  JWoww : Are you kidding me? Who does this?

• Larry : Look, Moe, we owe you an apology.

  Moe : No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and...

  Larry : No, you don't.

  Moe : Yes, I do.

  Curly : No, it's just that you get a little upset and...

  Moe : [Moe flicks Larry and Curly on their noses, and then he slaps Larry and Curly]  Shut up when I'm apologizing!

  Larry : We don't have time for that! Teddy's in a jam!

  Curly : Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband?

  [Curly gasps and hisses] 

  Curly : She's married to Teddy!

  Moe : No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep!

  Curly : Yeah.

  Moe : I knew I smelled a...

  Snooki , JWoww , Sammi : A rat! A rat! Eek!

  Moe : [Moe picks up Nippy, Curly's pet rat]  That's no rat, it's Nippy! How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Nips.

  Larry : Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Teddy before his wife does.

  Moe : Come on.

  Curly : [Curly chuckles, and rhythmically snaps his fingers]  Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!

  Moe : Come on, Romeo!

  [Moe pulls Curly out of the studio by his ear] 

  Moe's Hip Executive : Are you kidding me? There's three of them?