The Three Stooges (2012)

Isaiah Mustafa: Moe's Hip Executive

Quotes 

• Mother Superior : Boys, where have you been? We've been looking for you everywhere.

  Moe : Well, I guess we just didn't have the nerve to come back and tell you... we failed.

  Mother Superior : Oh, you didn't fail. Look at our new home.

  Moe : [surprisedly]  New home? Who paid for all this?

  Peezer : You did!

  Moe : Huh?

  Moe's Hip Executive : The kid's right. The money's coming out of your pocket.

  Moe : Sorry slick, but we don't have that kind of dough!

  Moe's Hip Executive : Oh, you will. See, the network has taken the liberty of paying off the orphanage's debts and building the new complex. Think of it as an advance. All you got to do is sign right here, boys, and you three will be the stars of our next big reality show: "Nuns vs. Nitwits". What do you say?

  Moe : Oh, gee!

  Curly : I always wanted to be a nun! Mmm...

  Mother Superior : Oh, and by the way, the Jersey Shore kids pitched in for the down payment.

• Moe's Hip Executive : [the audience says "Bravo!" as the stage lights reveal the audience portion of the studio, with Moe unaware that he was taking part in an audition after Larry and Curly have just left]  Brilliant, just brilliant! What an original way to showcase your personality by putting on a skit!

  Executive : Very smart!

  Moe : Huh?

  Moe's Hip Executive : That is exactly what we're looking for! Someone who's not afraid of confrontation, who's passionate about his opinions, right or wrong.

  Executive : That's what America craves!

  Moe : What are you flappin' about?

  Executive : Oh, he's beautiful!

  Moe's Hip Executive : Congratulations, sir; You are the newest cast member of the world's number-one rated reality show!

  [the audience applauds, Moe gasps with surprise] 

• Sammi : Now look: either you kick Moe off the show, or we're suing him!

  Snooki : Like, with a lawyer!

  Moe's Hip Executive : Court sounds okay to me.

  Moe's Hip Executive : [to his assistant]  You know, we could probably do a cross-promotion with Lockup.

  Snooki : Great, just great. So basically, what you're saying is this whole show is about the ratings?

  Moe's Hip Executive : Uh, yeah.

  Ronnie , The Situation : Ohhh!

  [Ronnie, The Situation and the other cast members groan in annoyance] 

  Sammi : Unbelievable.

  Moe : [pointing to Snooki's "Guinness" hat]  Look, just 'cause she's wearing a "genius" hat, doesn't mean she is one.

• Larry : Look, Moe, we owe you an apology.

  Moe : No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and...

  Larry : No, you don't.

  Moe : Yes, I do.

  Curly : No, it's just that you get a little upset and...

  Moe : [Moe flicks Larry and Curly on their noses, and then he slaps Larry and Curly]  Shut up when I'm apologizing!

  Larry : We don't have time for that! Teddy's in a jam!

  Curly : Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband?

  [Curly gasps and hisses] 

  Curly : She's married to Teddy!

  Moe : No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep!

  Curly : Yeah.

  Moe : I knew I smelled a...

  Snooki , JWoww , Sammi : A rat! A rat! Eek!

  Moe : [Moe picks up Nippy, Curly's pet rat]  That's no rat, it's Nippy! How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Nips.

  Larry : Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Teddy before his wife does.

  Moe : Come on.

  Curly : [Curly chuckles, and rhythmically snaps his fingers]  Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!

  Moe : Come on, Romeo!

  [Moe pulls Curly out of the studio by his ear] 

  Moe's Hip Executive : Are you kidding me? There's three of them?