Attack of the Virgin Mummies (2004 Video) User Reviews

You'll cry to have waisted your time on this...

[Elwood_Blues · 2/10 · 10 September 2005]

All right, I didn't expect anything of this, but I think that this is one of the most laughable excuses for a movie I've ever seen. This is so painful to watch (the mummy!) even Ed Wood would be ashamed of it. Even for a no-budget-movie this is so bad you wouldn't believe it until you see it. There is virtually no script, the actors are a joke and rural America is supposed to be Ancient Egypt (???). I guess the only reason for those guys to do this was to say to their friends "Some porn stars appeared in my own movie!" (how did they get them to appear in this anyway? It couldn't have been the money, so...).

My advice: go get a Playboy DVD or similar instead, but don't watch this!

attack of the tits

[trashgang · 2/10 · 16 January 2011]

I wont argue about the fact that I wasn't warned by watching this turkey. I watched it and I'm glad that I did it. It is still a mystery how some movies can be distributed even when they are a real turkey but here I can almost say that it is so bad that it becomes good. Don't go watching it if you think that it will contain mummies. There is one mummy in this flick and it's the most frightening part of it. Be advised that the mummy flicks from the Universal era are more frightening. The only time blood appears is when one girl got smashed against the wall why taking a bath. It's bloody but that's it. The reason why geeks will watch it is because all ladies in this flick are walking naked almost all the time. Full frontal where ever they are. The acting is as wooden as the oldest tree you could find. The story line is written in 1 minute. The title is what attracts you by guessing you will have an old exploitation from the 60's, but be advised that titles do mislead you.

Gratuitous mummy nudity

[Dr. Gore · 5 October 2005]

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

This is an interesting film because I can't figure out why the filmmakers bothered to make it. Basically "Attack of the Virgin Mummies" is about showing as much gratuitous nudity as possible. Perhaps that was the reason? If nudity was the only thing on their minds, why did they bother with the mummy angle? Massive amounts of breasts just weren't enough I guess.

It starts off with three sisters frolicking by a lake. They are all naked of course. As they bounce around, a trio of ugly guys barges in on them. The ugliest one decides he wants it all and kills the virgin girls. Believe me, I'm not spoiling anything by telling you this. Anyway, everybody gets reincarnated in modern day Los Angeles, (of course), and they start working at a strip club. The ugly guy comes back as a mummy and starts hunting them down. While the meaningless mummy storyline plays out, there are plenty of scenes of stripping by reincarnated virgin girls.

"Attack of the Virgin Mummies" is certainly not a good movie but it did have tremendous amounts of unnecessary nudity so I can't totally condemn it. The virgin mummies never attacked anyone either but that doesn't really bother me. The acting was terrible, the sets were cheap looking and the plot was non-existent but oh those virgin mummies! My favorite had to be Nikki Love, the short brunette. I found her stripping scene to be top notch. She saved that strip club from bankruptcy and this movie as well.

They have arrived...

[burbs82 · 8/10 · 20 June 2006]

Yes, the Virgin Mummies have arrived. And I must say, JOLLY GOOD show, virgin mummies. This movie was great.

The Pharoh's three virgin (yeah, right) daughters are sunbathing when they are approached by three sleaze-bag brothers who look nothing alike. Two of the brothers make out alright, but the third has issues with rejection. He also has an obsession with sucking titties. In my opinion, that's not altogether unhealthy, at least not until you wind up tying a virgin to tree and gagging her to do it. Then, MAYBE you've gone too far. So the guy, an Egyptian with the most hilarious American midwestern accent, kills all the witnesses; the three lovely virgins and his brothers. He is ordered to death by the Pharaoh, and sentenced to have his tongue cut out and be buried alive. A shame really, because I just wanted ONE more passionate, angst-riddled speech about his need to suck on titties.

Anyway, in transit to some old guy's house, the crates containing the lovely VIRGIN MUMMIES(!!!) are dropped alongside the road where they awake to be picked up by the 21st Century reincarnations of the two OTHER sleaze-bag brothers that were murdered along with THE VIRGIN MUMMIES(!!!). They recruit the lovely ladies as an act for their failing strip club, the evil mummified tit-sucking guy returns to life, he kills a random Asian hooker in the bathtub, while THE VIRGIN MUMMIES(!!!) are out buying tanna leaves from some lunatic who runs a health-food store/shack/shed which is really a cover for his drug deals(and by the way, this guy is HILARIOUS), the evil mummy attacks THE VIRGIN MUMMIES(!!!), gets his ass kicked, the end.

This has quickly joined Fred Olen Ray, David DeCoteau, and Jim Wynorski's long list of credits to become one of my favorite exploitation/b-horror movie parodies. Well, maybe that's a bit of a stretch. Those guys are really top of the b-movie game. It doesn't quite have their style or even production value (and that may sound funny to anyone who's seen "Sorority House Massacre II", but it's true never the less), but the fact that the girls are so incredibly gorgeous and are naked throughout the entire film, AND it actually has a narrative, make this film a must see for any b-movie fan.