- Norm: Happiness is accepting life on life's terms, no matter what they happen to be. You just do your best with what you've been given.
- Rhonda: I have an audition for a lesbian cruise ship next week... I like lesbians. Lesbians like me.
- Rhonda: [She of the formally fat] What're doin'? I can't eat that! One pie is like an appitiser to me, I eat that and I unleash the beast!
- Adam: I am tired of fighting you and the whole world just so I could have something as radical and subversive as a fucking boyfriend!
- Rhonda: Why can't a lesbian diet and put on makeup at the same time? Because you can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face.