Arrested Development (2003–2019)
John Michael Higgins: Wayne Jarvis
Quotes
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Michael : Are you serious?
Wayne Jarvis : Almost always. I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque Du Soleil ever had.
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Wayne Jarvis : I have a picture taken by a traffic camera of you escorting your father.
[hands it to Michael]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Are you sure these aren't balls? Because last time, they were balls.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [Barry is handed the picture of Michael and George Sr. in the stair car] I really wish they were balls.
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Michael : My mother is opposed to the idea of hiring a new attorney. She'll probably refuse to enter the room if she sees you.
Wayne Jarvis : I shall hide behind the couch.
[and he does just that]
Michael : Guy's a pro.
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Lucille : You idiots. If your father sees me here with Wayne...
Michael : ...we'll be stuck with Barry.
Wayne Jarvis : I shall hide behind that garbage car.
[and does just that]
Michael : Guy's a pro.
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Barry Zuckerkorn : Those are the pictures?
Wayne Jarvis : They're all over the news.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [scrutinizes] Those are balls.
Wayne Jarvis : What?
Narrator : Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself in the bathtub while trying to figure out his new cell phone.
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Michael : Why haven't you talked to my brother, the new President of the company?
Wayne Jarvis : We did earlier. He claims to know nothing.
Michael : Well, that's not an act. He twice tried to heat up a Ding-Dong in a microwave while it was still in its tinfoil.
Wayne Jarvis : Twice?
Michael : Two times.