Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (2004 Video Game)

David Hayter: Naked Snake, Jack

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ocelot : What's your name?

  Naked Snake : Snake.

  Ocelot : No, not that name. You're not a snake, and I'm not an ocelot. We're men with names. My name... is Adamska. And you?

  Naked Snake : John.

  Ocelot : Plain name. But I won't forget it.

• Sigint : [if you call Sigint while wearing a cardboard box]  Uh, Snake... what are you doing?

  Naked Snake : I'm in a box.

  Sigint : A cardboard box? Wha-why are you...?

  Naked Snake : I dunno, I was just looking at it, and suddenly I got this irresistible urge to get inside. No, not just an urge - more than that. It was my destiny to be here: in the box!

  Sigint : Destiny?

  Naked Snake : Yeah. And then, when I put it on, I suddenly got this feeling of inner peace. I can't put it into words. I feel... safe. Like this is where I was meant to be. Like I'd found the key to true happiness.

  Sigint : [baffled]  Uh-huh.

  Naked Snake : Does any of that make sense?

  Sigint : Not even a little.

  Naked Snake : You should come inside the box. Then you'll know what I mean.

  Sigint : Man, I don't wanna know what you mean! Between you and Para-Medic, is everyone but me that is hooked up with the Major strange?

  Naked Snake : [gives an upset groan] 

  Sigint : Yeah, well. Anyway, I suppose even that dumbass box might make a decent disguise if you wear it inside a building.

• Sigint : Snake, what's up? Why are you naked? I know there's a "NAKED" option under "UNIFORM" that lets you take off the upper part of your uniform. But without a shirt on, your camouflage sucks, and your stamina goes down faster. You don't get any advantages whatsoever.

  Naked Snake : Sure there are.

  Sigint : Like what?

  Naked Snake : It feels good.

  Sigint : Man, you do whatever you want.

  Naked Snake : I will, thanks. Just one question, though.

  Sigint : What?

  Naked Snake : Is there a way to take off my pants?

  Sigint : [aghast]  Say WHAT?

  Naked Snake : My pants, can I...?

  Sigint : Aw, hell no! This FOX unit is a nut-fest!

  [Snake chuckles mischievously] 

• [if you call Sigint after a nightmare] 

  Sigint : Well, let me tell you about the absolute worst, most sickening nightmare I ever had. This one isn't for the kids. OK, so there's this huge pile of crap, right? It's shaped like a giant tank, and it's walking around on two legs, goin' on a rampage and stompin' on people and houses and stuff. And this giant turd is carrying the nastiest missiles you ever saw. Like whenever it launches one of its turd missiles... whatever it hits - people, trees, buildings - turns into shit. My hometown, my old school, my family, my girlfriend, old man John... Everything in that turd's path turned into shit.

  Naked Snake : That's... pretty sick, man.

• Solid Snake : [on radio before starting Snake vs Monkey]  I'll say this once and only once. I'm not taking out any more Metal Gears! Not rescuing any old men, or VIP. If it's a hot damsel in distress, I'll think about it.

  Colonel Campbell : Well, it's not exactly a hot damsel, but it is a rescue mission.

  Solid Snake : What are we rescuing?

  Colonel Campbell : Apes.

  Solid Snake : What?

  Colonel Campbell : Monkeys.

  Solid Snake : Again, what?

• Ocelot : [Snake, surrounded by the Ocelot unit, assumes his CQC fighting stance]  What is that stance? And that gun?

  [the Ocelot unit all laugh at Snake] 

  Ocelot : [Ocelot flips out his gun and catches it with his right hand]  If you're not The Boss... then die!

  [Ocelot pulls the trigger, but his gun jams, then Snake proceeds to take down him and every GRU surrounding him] 

  Naked Snake : You ejected the first bullet by hand, didn't you? I see what you were trying to do, but testing a technique you've only heard about in the middle of battle wasn't very smart. You were asking to have your gun jam on you. Besides, I don't think you're cut out for an automatic in the first place; you tend to twist your elbow a little to absorb the recoil. That's more of a revolver technique.

  Ocelot : [pulls out a knife]  You... filthy American dog!

  [attacks Snake, but Snake easily takes him down] 

  Naked Snake : But, that was some fancy shooting. You're pretty good.

  Ocelot : Pretty good...

  [passes out] 

• Para-Medic : Snake, look at your body!

  Naked Snake : Yep... lookin' good.

  Para-Medic : Not there.

  Naked Snake : Then where?

  Para-Medic : You have leeches all over your body!

• [first lines] 

  Naked Snake : After the end of World War II, the world was split into two - East and West. This marked the beginning of the era called the Cold War.

• Naked Snake : Real heroes are never made public.

  Major Zero : Not in our line of work anyway.

• Naked Snake : Commencing operation Snake Eater.

• Naked Snake : [after eating something tasty]  That's *damn* good!

• Sigint : Snake, why are you smoking a cigarette?

  Naked Snake : It's a cigar.

  Sigint : Cigar, cigarette, same thing.

  Naked Snake : It's *not* the same thing!

• Naked Snake : EVA, I wanted to ask you about Ocelot...

  EVA : Yeah, I know. He's pretty infatuated with you, isn't he?

  Naked Snake : That's not what I meant.

• Major Zero : I don't want to call President Kennedy a liar, but I simply cannot imagine that in six years' time, man will have reached the moon.

  Naked Snake : I don't know, I never thought we would make it into space.

• EVA : OK, your Raikov disguise is complete. Now they won't stop you no matter what you do.

  Naked Snake : Even if I punch someone in the face?

  EVA : Right.

  Naked Snake : Really?

  EVA : Really.

  Naked Snake : Why?

  EVA : Raikov's just that kind of guy.

• Naked Snake : The earth was blue, but there was no God.

  Major Zero : Well said.

• Naked Snake : Home in time for dinner.

  Major Zero : But if you fail you'll be eating breakfeast, lunch, and all the rest of your meals in the jungle.

• Naked Snake : I'm glad I'm not as strange as the Major.

  Para-Medic : The Major's not strange...

  Major Zero : [in background]  My tea's gone! Who's drunk it? How am I supposed to have teatime without tea?

  Para-Medic : Well, not *that* strange...

  Major Zero : [in background]  My scone's gone too!

• The Boss : [hands Snake the Philosopher's Legacy, as she lays dying]  Take this... keep it safe. It's our only hope.

  [hands snake her Patriot machine gun] 

  Naked Snake : A Patriot? Why are you giving me this?

  The Boss : Jack... or should I say Snake... you're a wonderful man. Kill me now. There's only room for one snake and one boss.

• Sigint : [regarding the Soviet camo]  Looks like Soviet guards will hesitate to attack you from behind with this on.

  Naked Snake : You mean it has advantages, other than being stylish?

• Para-Medic : [On the radio]  Snake, have you seen "007: From Russia with Love"?

  Naked Snake : I don't like those movie. Real spies are nothing like James Bond. It's pure fantasy.

  Para-Medic : Snake, I don't think the Major's going to like you saying that.

  Naked Snake : And even though it's fiction. I can't help but comparing myself to Bond.

  Major Zero : What exactly don't you like about James Bond? Is it the fantastic gadgets? The cars? The guns?

  Naked Snake : Major...!

  Major Zero : Snake, wouldn't you like to have a gun shaped like a pen?

  Naked Snake : What good is a pen going to do me in the jungle? I'd look like a fool.

  Major Zero : Then what about a snake-shaped gun? You could make it look like you're grappling with a giant snake and then get a shot in on the enemy while they're distracted.

  Naked Snake : Ok, now you're being ridiculous.

• Naked Snake : [as Granin is getting drunk]  You're crocked, aren't you?

  Director Granin : I am merely drowning my sorrow.

• Naked Snake : Boss, why are you doing this?

  The Boss : Why? To make the world one again.

• Para-Medic : He's wearing the GA-KO suit.

  Sigint : Why?

  Para-Medic : Because it looks cute.

  Sigint : Snake, talk some sense into her!

  Naked Snake : What's wrong with being cute?

• Sigint : From the looks of it, it's fitted with a 100-round drum magazine... and it never runs out of ammo?

  Naked Snake : Never.

  Sigint : Why's that?

  Naked Snake : Because the internal feed mechanism is shaped like an infinity symbol.

  Sigint : Ah, I get it. Yep, that'll give you unlimited ammo.

• Naked Snake : EVA, about the contents of the backpack you got for me...

  EVA : Is there something missing?

  Naked Snake : Yeah, all of my food.

  EVA : It wasn't me! All those snakes and crocodiles and suspicious-looking mushrooms... I wouldn't eat that stuff even if you paid me!

  Naked Snake : So who was it?

  EVA : It was Ocelot.

  Naked Snake : Ocelot?

  EVA : He said he wanted to eat the same things you did.

  Naked Snake : Why would he do that?

  EVA : You haven't figured it out?

  Naked Snake : No.

  EVA : You are dense.

• Sigint : Tell me the truth. Did you really get that from The Sorrow?

  Naked Snake : Yeah.

  Sigint : ...Hell, the major says he's been abducted by a UFO, so why not?

• Para-Medic : I think it really does look good. It reminds me of "The Alligator People."

  Naked Snake : Oh... the what?

  Para-Medic : "The Alligator People." It's a science fiction movie. You've never heard of it?

  Naked Snake : No.

  Para-Medic : Oh... well you should see it sometime. It's about this guy who gets hurt in a car accident and tries to heal his wounds by injecting himself with a crocodile serum, but then his head turns into a crocodile head. You look just like him with that mask on. That's awesome.

  Naked Snake : Right.

• Solid Snake : This is Snake. I've made it to the sneaking point.

  Colonel Campbell : You're right on time, Snake.

  Solid Snake : For being dragged out of the sack at two in the morning, I did my best.

  Colonel Campbell : Rise and shine. Don't you love mornings!

  Solid Snake : Colonel... nobody loves being dragged away from their vacation.

  Colonel Campbell : I'm sorry but we needed you. Something big is going down... very big. That's why...

  Solid Snake : Alright, so what is this important mission? I'll say it once and only once... I'm not taking out any Metal Gears.

  Colonel Campbell : Don't worry.

  Solid Snake : And no saving some VIP or old man.

  Colonel Campbell : It's nothing like that.

  Solid Snake : If it's a hot damsel in distress, I'll think about it.

  Colonel Campbell : Well, it's not quite a... hot damsel in distress... but it is a rescue mission.

  Solid Snake : Rescuing who?

  Colonel Campbell : Apes.

  Solid Snake : ...

  Colonel Campbell : ...

  Solid Snake : What?

  Colonel Campbell : Monkeys! But not just any monkeys.

  Solid Snake : You said monkeys?

  Colonel Campbell : Just listen. Your mission is to infiltrate the jungle and capture all of the monkeys.

  Solid Snake : Again, you said monkeys?

  Colonel Campbell : Yes, monkeys.

  Solid Snake : This isn't really my thing... If you want your monkeys, you better ask Spike or Jimmy.

  Colonel Campbell : Unfortunately, they weren't available.

  Solid Snake : What about me? I was on vacation!

• Colonel Campbell : Snake, we need you. If you don't do this, who will?

  Solid Snake : It's not like someone else couldn't handle a stealth mission.

  Colonel Campbell : Don't say that. This is the genre we turned over every leaf in.

  Solid Snake : Why don't you make Sam or Gabe do the job?

  Colonel Campbell : Snake...

  Solid Snake : Isn't this just some monkey catching action?

  Colonel Campbell : Snake, I'm asking you. It's a request from the Professor himself.

  Solid Snake : THE Professor...? Natalie's grandfather?

  Solid Snake : That's the one.

  Solid Snake : The one who came up with the monkey helmet?

  Colonel Campbell : Well, that was the Professor's classmate.

  Solid Snake : His classmate?

  Colonel Campbell : From high school. Not only that, but the Professor is a friend of Otacon's.

  Solid Snake : He's Otacon's friend, too?

  Colonel Campbell : It's because of the Professor that Otacon has been able to come up with some of his inventions.

  Solid Snake : ...Alright... what are the details?

  Colonel Campbell : So you'll do it, great!

  Solid Snake : I'm not against some "monkey catching." But I'd rather be collecting pants.

  Colonel Campbell : Snake, the monkeys have fled into the jungle. When you find them, knock them out for capture.

  Solid Snake : Right. I'm not going to be able to grab them when they are jumping all around the place.

  Colonel Campbell : Right. When you've grabbed all of the monkeys, your mission is complete.

  Solid Snake : Gotcha. Commencing Operation Ape Snake.

  Colonel Campbell : Snake, when you capture a monkey, yell out the password. With the password, a warp device will activate.

  Solid Snake : Understood.

  Colonel Campbell : Good. I'm counting on you, Snake.

• Naked Snake : [upon seeing Volgin and the Shagohod being struck by a bolt of lightning that destroys the Shagohod and kills Volgin]  Fried by a bolt of lightning... A fitting end. It's finally over.