No expense is spared in yet another Misty Mundae (now known as Erin Brown) softcore romp. In "Lust in the Mummy's Tomb," Mundae is a schoolgirl who wakes up one morning and takes a shower. I have just summarized the first ten minutes of this opus. Misty goes downstairs and discovers a mummy (Joey Smack credited as Ben Orange) on the floor of her father's study. What's a girl to do? You boink it, apparently. As Misty works on the mummy, the ghost of Cleopatra (Patty Perturbed- probably not her real name) lurks behind a bookshelf, jealously watching Misty and the mummy. Unfortunately for Cleopatra, and the viewer, the orgasm of a young girl can wake the mummy. Misty "wins," and the mummy arises (so to speak) and chases her. Don't fret, Misty lives, and we learn Cleopatra will rest only if brought to orgasm by a hot young girl like Misty. How convenient.
These "films" are on the DVD together because neither is full length on their own. "Lust in the Mummy's Tomb" is about forty minutes, while its DVD companion "The Vibrating Maid" runs twenty-five. These "films" are on the DVD together because neither is full length on their own. "Lust in the Mummy's Tomb"'s location shooting consists of someone's house, not a tomb in sight. While I did not watch this for historical accuracy of any kind, having some sad actor wrapped in all the gauze he could find in a poorly stocked first aid kit would be hysterical if it were not so pathetic. I found myself just as bored as the cast members. The supposed direction by William Hellfire consists of turning the video camera on and off. No screenwriter is credited, since I believe the entire story meeting and read-through consisted of "take your clothes off and dry hump this." Just a rant against the old Seduction Cinema and After Hours Cinema's hard softcore sex videos. If you have a cast willing to do all of this sexually explicit activity on camera for all the world to see, then why not back it up with some semblance of a story or script and semi-professional production values? Film makers, challenge yourselves to actually write and shoot something watchable, instead of a bunch of scenes? Even though I found many faults with "Shortbus" and "The Brown Bunny," at least these writer/directors were trying to be provocative, not lazy. Sorry, Misty, but I needed to break off this relationship. I also made the mistake of watching "Erotic Survivor" the same night decades ago, a film so bad I could not put into words the grief I felt. I need more out of my video vixens, since I am no longer sixteen years old and sneaking peeks at Cinemax. Everyone involved is better than this, and frankly, so am I.
These "films" are on the DVD together because neither is full length on their own. "Lust in the Mummy's Tomb" is about forty minutes, while its DVD companion "The Vibrating Maid" runs twenty-five. These "films" are on the DVD together because neither is full length on their own. "Lust in the Mummy's Tomb"'s location shooting consists of someone's house, not a tomb in sight. While I did not watch this for historical accuracy of any kind, having some sad actor wrapped in all the gauze he could find in a poorly stocked first aid kit would be hysterical if it were not so pathetic. I found myself just as bored as the cast members. The supposed direction by William Hellfire consists of turning the video camera on and off. No screenwriter is credited, since I believe the entire story meeting and read-through consisted of "take your clothes off and dry hump this." Just a rant against the old Seduction Cinema and After Hours Cinema's hard softcore sex videos. If you have a cast willing to do all of this sexually explicit activity on camera for all the world to see, then why not back it up with some semblance of a story or script and semi-professional production values? Film makers, challenge yourselves to actually write and shoot something watchable, instead of a bunch of scenes? Even though I found many faults with "Shortbus" and "The Brown Bunny," at least these writer/directors were trying to be provocative, not lazy. Sorry, Misty, but I needed to break off this relationship. I also made the mistake of watching "Erotic Survivor" the same night decades ago, a film so bad I could not put into words the grief I felt. I need more out of my video vixens, since I am no longer sixteen years old and sneaking peeks at Cinemax. Everyone involved is better than this, and frankly, so am I.
