The Haunted Mansion (2003) Poster

(2003)

Eddie Murphy: Jim Evers

Showing all 98 items
Jump to:

Photos 

Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Wallace Shawn, Dina Spybey-Waters, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Marc John Jefferies, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy and Marc John Jefferies in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Jennifer Tilly and Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Jennifer Tilly, Eddie Murphy, Wallace Shawn, and Dina Spybey-Waters in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Marc John Jefferies, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Marc John Jefferies, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy and Marsha Thomason in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Jennifer Tilly and Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Marc John Jefferies, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Dina Spybey-Waters, Marc John Jefferies, Nathaniel Parker, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Marc John Jefferies, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Marc John Jefferies, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy and Steve Hytner in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy, Marc John Jefferies, Nathaniel Parker, Marsha Thomason, and Aree Davis in The Haunted Mansion (2003) Eddie Murphy in The Haunted Mansion (2003) 45 more photos

Quotes 

  • [Jim, Megan, and Michael are in the carriage riding past all the ghosts in the graveyard] 

    Michael : Dad?

    Jim : Yeah, son?

    Michael : I see dead people.

  • Jim : The butler did it? You got to be kidding me.

  • Madame Leota : Evil and darkness have fallen this night. But now, to survive, you must gain new sight.

    Jim : I must first gain new underwear.

  • [Jim sees the Hitchhiking Ghosts peering into the carriage] 

    Jim : Hey! Hey, what are you doing?

    Hitchhiking Ghost : Can they see us?

    Hitchhiking Ghost : No, of course not!

    Jim : Yes, I can see you. I'm looking at you right now in your stupid hat!

    Hitchhiking Ghost : Don't listen to him! He's lying!

    Jim : OK whatever. C'mon kids.

    Hitchhiking Ghost : I could swear he was looking right at me.

    Hitchhiking Ghost : He's psychic.

  • Madame Leota : Dark spirits from the grave come forth. Lift us from the black. And show us, show us the way back.

    Jim : Dark spirits? Hey, no dark spirits! Don't you make no dark spirits come out!

  • Jim : Wait a minute. You're telling me this guy is dead, and the only reason we were brought here is he wants to get jiggy with my wife.

    Ezra : Pretty much. Are you upset?

    Jim : The guy is dead, and he's trying to get with my wife. And the house isn't really for sale. Yes, I'm upset.

  • Master Gracey : You have very beautiful children, Ms. Evers.

    Jim : I kicked in some chromosomes too.

  • [last lines] 

    Madame Leota : Angels in Heaven, together at last. The tale is well ended for those who have passed. Love endures all, no reason, no rhyme. It lasts forever and forever all the time.

    Megan : Mom, Leota won't shut up.

    Michael : Are we there yet?

    Megan : I'm getting pretty hungry.

    Michael : Can we stop for some pizza?

    Jim : Hey, how long before we get there, Sara?

    Sara Evers : Twenty minutes, tops.

    Jim : Nothing takes twenty minutes.

  • Madame Leota : What are you doing?

    Jim : Hey, you leave me alone. Just get out of here and leave me alone.

    Madame Leota : Oh, I see. You're just going to sit there, feeling sorry for yourself.

    Jim : Tell me why not. This whole thing was my fault. We should've never been here in the first place. Supposed to be at the lake. We'd be sitting by a warm fire right now. And I made us come here. And now it's too late.

    Madame Leota : No. It's never too late.

    Jim : Hey, look, I tried to get in there, and I can't, all right? I tried! I failed!

    Madame Leota : You try. You fail. You try. You fail. But the only true failure is when you stop trying.

    Jim : What do you want me to do? Huh?

    Madame Leota : Try again.

    [Cut to Jim, behind the wheel of his car, preparing to plough it through the Mansion window] 

  • [during the wedding service] 

    Ramsley : If anyone has any objections...

    [Jim bursts in] 

    Jim : Yeah, I got a few objections!

  • [Jim has braved zombies to get a key that Leota said would solve everything] 

    Jim : Alright, I got the key. Now what?

    Madame Leota : Now you must find the trunk.

    Jim : Trunk?

    Madame Leota : Yes, trunk.

    Jim : Not door?

    Madame Leota : No, not door. Trunk.

    Jim : All you said I had to do was find this key. I got the key, and now you're telling me something about a trunk. "The key is the answer to all" remember?

    Madame Leota : Look, I don't make the rules, OK? I just work here.

  • Master Gracey : I'm warning you, sir.

    [pulls out his sword] 

    Master Gracey : Step away.

    Jim : Man, don't think just because you pull out your sword I'm going to let you marry my wife.

    Master Gracey : My patience is wearing thin.

  • Jim : Where's that scary albino when you need him?

  • Megan : They're ghosts, Dad.

    Jim : They're not ghosts. We're just having hallucinations from that dinner that we ate. It was that chicken, it didn't taste right.

    [insulted, Emma turns into mist and re-appears right in front of Jim] 

    Emma : Hey!

    Jim : Whoa!

  • [Jim, ignoring the ghosts, just wants to get out of the house] 

    Megan : But Dad, we have to help them!

    Jim : You can't help the dead, honey. They're beyond help. That's the nature of being dead.

  • [Ramsley has just revealed what really happened to Elizabeth] 

    Ramsley : The Master must never know. Edward and his love will be reunited and this curse will be broken.

    Jim : That's not her, that's my wife!

    Ramsley : And what she sees in you, I'll never know.

  • Jim : Hey, honey, you know they have dead people in the backyard.

    Sara Evers : Well, some people have swimming pools, others have private cemeteries. It can happen.

  • Jim : Well, great, I'm in, let's get this key!

    Megan : There's only one problem: how do we get out of here?

    Jim : Yeah, how do we get out of here?

    Ezra : Well, there's always, uh... my way.

    [cut to ghostly horse-drawn carriage crashing through the wall of the Mansion] 

  • Madame Leota : Whom do you seek?

    Jim : I am seeking a way outta here.

    Madame Leota : Then you must look within.

    Jim : I don't wanna look within, I wanna look without! Are you deaf?

  • [to Master Gracey, who is about to strike Jim with his sword] 

    Jim : Hey. You wanna kill me, kill me. But listen, when I come on the other side, I'm gonna just be whipping your ass for all eternity.

    [pulls out Elizabeth's real letter] 

    Jim : So maybe you should read this before you stab somebody.

  • [about to go over a steep hill] 

    Jim : Hold on!

    Madame Leota : With what?

  • Jim : I gotta help my wife. She'll be...

    Singing Busts : [singing]  Comin' round the mountain when she comes...

  • [while looking at a magazine in Michael's room] 

    Jim : Hey, this is my Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. What are you doing with it?

    Michael : [shrugs]  I don't know.

    Jim : [sarcastically]  Oh, yeah, sure.

  • [Michael runs out of his bedroom screaming] 

    Michael : There's a spider in my room!

    Jim : There's a what?

    Michael : There's a spider in my room! He's on the window!

    Jim : Well, why don't you kill it, man?

    [pause] 

    Michael : That's a big spider!

  • Megan : [whacks spider]  There. Ya happy?

    Jim : No, I'm not happy! I'm trying to show Michael how important it is to whack your own spiders!

    Megan : [walking away]  Whatever.

  • Jim Evers : Those must be termites. Some big-ass termites, that's all.

  • Master Gracey : [Before departing for Heaven with Elizabeth]  Can you ever forgive me?

    Jim : What's to forgive? You loved her.

    Master Gracey : [Hands Jim a rolled up document]  Here. Take this.

    Jim : What is it?

    Master Gracey : The deed to the house. It's yours. Do with it what you will. Sell it, keep it. Do whatever makes you and your family happy.

  • Jim : Excuse me, why are all these ghosts still hanging around here?

    Emma : When they died, they couldn't find the light. And now, now they're trapped. Doomed to wander the Earth for all eternity.

  • Jim : Bob Vila would have a field day with this place.

  • Jim : [just escaped from the haunted musical instruments that were chasing him and runs into Michael, Megan, Ezra and Emma]  Michael! Megan, you okay?

    Megan : We're fine, thanks.

    Jim : Alright, get your things. Let's get out of here. Let's go.

    Megan : But dad, we have a problem.

    Jim : What? Because of the rain? Look, we're gonna get a little wet. Let's just find your mom and let's get out of here. Let's go!

    Ezra : I'm afraid that's not possible. She can't leave!

    Jim : And why not?

    [Ezra apparates from upstairs, right behind Jim, startling him] 

    Ezra : Because she can't! If l could tell you, l would. But l can't, so l won't, okay?

    Jim : Hey, how'd you... Hey, look. Come on. Daddy's having more hallucinations. Let's go right now. Let's go.

    Megan : They're ghosts, Dad.

    Jim : They're not ghosts. We're just having hallucinations from that dinner that we ate. It was that chicken. It didn't taste right.

    [Emma apparates right in from of Jim from the top of the stairs, startling him again] 

    Emma : Hey! It's not the chicken!

    Jim : All right! It's not the chicken! It's not the chicken. But we're still getting out of here.

    Megan : But dad, we have to help them.

    Jim : Hey, you can't help the dead, honey. They're beyond help. That's the nature of being dead.

    Ezra : The man's talking sense. Everyone should just keep their noses in their own business.

    Megan : But dad, we have to help them break the curse.

    Jim : Why is everybody talking about a curse? Wait a minute, have you been talking to that crazy green gypsy in the giant paperweight?

    Emma : [to Ezra]  Gypsy! He found the gypsy! We've gotta go back to see her.

    [Jim panics] 

    Jim : No back! I'm not going back!

    Megan : But, Dad!

    Jim : Hey, they had me floating all around the room!

    Megan : Dad!

    Jim : [pantomimes what he just went through as he's saying it]  Hey, l was strapped to a chair, floating around the room with a marching band chasing me! I'm not going back anywhere! Forget it, Casper!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


Clear your history

Recently Viewed