Calendar Girls (2003)

Julie Walters: Annie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Annie : You baked that?

  Chris : I'm not a total dead loss as a woman. I can't knit or make plum jam but I can bake a bloody Victoria sponge.

  Annie : Ok, thank you.

  Chris : Course, I didn't actually bake this one - I got it at Marks and Spencer - but the point is...

  Annie : You can't enter a cake you bought in a shop!

  Chris : Get off! It doesn't matter where it comes from, does it? This is about putting up a united front against Highgyll. This isn't bakery. It's Zulu.

• Celia : It's the whole showing your breasts issues that concerns me.

  Annie : The point is that we won't really be showing anything.

  Celia : Yes, that's what concerns me.

  Annie : Yours are good, are they?

  Celia : They're tremendous.

• [Jem has been arrested by the police for possession of cannabis] 

  Rod : They're not charging him.

  Annie : Why? Is it not illegal then?

  Rod : Well, cannabis is, but they tend not to worry too much about oregano.

• Annie : None of us have been here before, love. I mean, for God's sake, my John didn't see me naked until the spring of 1975.

  Chris : What happened in the spring of '75?

  Annie : There was a lizard in the shower block at Abergele.

  [laughter] 

  Annie : Quite a few people saw me naked that morning.

• Ruth : Well, I think it's a great idea.

  Cora : You weren't concentrating, were you Ruth?

  Ruth : I was. We're going to raise money to buy a sofa for the hospital in John's name.

  Celia : By posing for a nude calendar!

  Ruth : Oh no!

  Chris : Oh sit down. I'm not asking you to straddle an 'Arley Davidson.

  Celia : It's still a bit of a leap from Burnsall church, love.

  Chris : That's the 'ole point. It's an alternative calendar, it's...

  Annie : It's what John suggested.

  Chris : Did he?

  Annie : The last stage of the flower is the most glorious. So what this calendar would be saying is "actually, yes John, we agree".

  Ruth : With respect, I didn't hear him use the phrase "whip your bras off"

• Marie : It says here in this letter from Leukaemia Research Fund that the calendar has so far raised a total of £286,000. So congratulations to all of us for making it such a success.

  Annie : [whispers to Chris]  We can get that sofa in the leather then.

• Annie : Your son's been arrested.

  Chris : And released with 10g of oregano. The only thing that'd be dangerous in is a quiche.

• Annie : Jessie, we're getting to the point now where we really need to commit...

  Jessie : No front bottoms.

  Annie : What?

  Jessie : I'm in. Just no front bottoms. That's a sight I reserved for just one man in my life.

  Annie : Do you think your husband would mind?

  Jessie : It wasn't my husband.

• Cora : There's no E flat in Jerusalem.

  Annie : I'll be a bit disappointed if they're looking at me fingers.

• Annie : If we can't use the name WI then we just don't use it.

  Chris : Then, what? We'll have a calendar of some middle aged women mysteriously standing naked behind fruit cakes.

• Annie : Bad girl.

  Chris : Bun toucher.

• Chris : You should've told us. I'm your oldest friend, you should've told me the moment you found out.

  Annie : I did.

• Annie : Anybody fancy some chips?

• Marie : I do know how you must be feeling.

  Annie : Do you? Oh dear.

  Marie : Are you sure John would have approved?

  Annie : You said yourself, you didn't know him.

  Marie : I know he was a decent man...

  Annie : If your concern is for the reputation of Knapely WI...

  Marie : It's not.

  Annie : I think it is. The WI is about doing good. And what does more good? Knowing slightly more about broccoli one week than we did the last or providing some comfort for someone in the worst hours of their life because that's what it's like sweetheart. And no. I don't think you do know how I feel.

• [talking to Chris about her dead husband, John] 

  Annie : I'd rob every penny from this calendar if it would buy me just one more hour with him.

• Marie : Victoria Sponge. Annie's on Victoria sponge.

  [Marie leaves. Chris dives under the table and brings out a cake tin] 

  Ruth : What's that?

  Chris : Well, Annie won't have had time running Yul Brynner in and out of Skipton General, so ta da!

  Annie : Sorry I'm late. It just took a bit longer than... Oh my God, the cake!

  Chris : Told you.

• Cora : I'm surprised they printed it.

  Jessie : It's probably all over the internet by now.

  Annie : By the sound of it, most people have seen it already.

  Chris : Lots of people have photos taken with their tops off on holiday in Ibiza don't they?

  Ruth : It probably just came as a slight shock Chris, what with the previous fifteen photos being of flower arrangements.

• Chris : I've put our names down for speakers next month: "Chris and Annie: What we learned in 'Ollywood".

  Annie : You're lying. I know for a fact that Colin Petley's coming from Keighley with his collection of tea towels.

  Chris : Be still my beating heart!

• Annie : Can I remind you how much last year's calendar raised? £75.60

• Chris Harper : [about John's cancer]  So, what kind is it he's got?

  Annie Clarke : He says he's going to call it Saddam Hussein.

• Annie : [engaging to photo topless]  Don't think of it as naked, Cora. It's not naked. It's nude.

  Cora : Annie, I am 55 years old. So, if I'm not gonna get 'em out now, when am I?

• W.I. Judge : And the winner of this year's May Wilkinson trophy for Victoria Sponge maximum twelve inch diameter I'm delighted to say is entry number 213.

  Annie : [whispers]  Nice knowing you, Chris.

  Chris : [whispers back]  Help me!

  Ruth : Well that's interesting.

  W.I. Judge : entered by Knapely WI and baked by Chris Harper.

• Chris : Did you talk to the specialist? John seems a lot chirpier today. What's the old...

  Annie : Pneumonia and septicaemia.

  Chris : Oh well that's good, I've heard of those. They can deal with those can't they?

  Annie : It means his immune system's weakened. The chemo isn't working which means we are finally out of straws.

• John : Don't you go buying any benches.

  Annie : I'll do what the hell I like John Clarke.

  John : If you put a bench out here, it'll have "Leeds stuffed Arsenal" on it before you get back to the car.

• Annie : Jessie! What did I say about relaxing him?

• Chris : You missed it. We were just on television, the whole reason we came here.

  Annie : I thought that was to get away from the press.

• Annie : [mid-interview Annie calls over to Jessie who's passing by]  Oh, hi ya Jessie!

  [to reporters] 

  Annie : Sorry. That's our Miss September.

• Annie : Of course, we're not going to go round parading ourselves in a room full of men. This isn't... France, for God's sake!

• Chris : Annie, what *is* the point of the WI?

  Annie : Enlightenment, fun and friendship!

  Chris : [to John]  It's right. It's them things. Or in my case it's something you did because your mother wanted you to and then she went ahead and died and then it was too late.

  Annie : You love it.

• Annie : It's a bit out of character for Rod, don't you think? Saying all that? Did he get tricked into it? Did you stay to find out? Or by that time was there a taxi waiting?

• Chris : You cannot stand it. You cannot stand that *I* have made this calendar a success.

  Annie : No. You see, what's happened Chris is that this calendar has made *you* a success.

• Jessie : [showing the photo of topless Chris Harper]  What is the difference between this and the Venus de Milo?

  Celia : Oh, I love quizzes. The cooker?

  Jessie : Both feature women with their breasts exposed. What makes one a work of art?

  Annie : I think the answer to that is very simple: an artist.