The Even Stevens Movie (2003 TV Movie)

A.J. Trauth: Alan Twitty

Quotes 

• Twitty : Tom?

  Tom Gribalski : Ahoy, mateys! What brings you landlubbers down to the salty brine?

  Twitty : Speak English, please?

  Tom Gribalski : Oh, excuse me... Whass'up...?

• Twitty : Okay, I'll tell you guys again: I've never met the Stevens family, okay? My name is Lawrence Honeytoast, I'm a marine biologist, and I'm here on top-secret government business.

• Tom Gribalski : The technology is amazing.

  Twitty : It's your masterpiece!

  Tawny Dean : Are you really gonna sit in this thing all summer?

  Louis : Hold on, hold on! Don't call her a "thing!" She's my ultra-loungematic superchair.

  [push a button so that an arm gives him a soda. He drinks of it] 

  Twitty : Sweet!

  Louis : [belches]  Watch this, watch this.

  [pushing down another button so the machine quivers and gives him massage] 

  Louis : Like a thousand tiny fingers working all the right parts.

  Tawny Dean : You've brought laziness to an art form.

  [Louis pushes another button] 

  The Ultra-Loungematic Superchair : Thank-you. Taw-ny.

• [Tom was singing "Blow the Man Down"] 

  Twitty : Tom! TOM! It's getting dark, and I'm getting seasick so I want a little less singing, and little more sailing, OKAY?

  Tom Gribalski : Well, excuse me, Benedict Twitty! If you don't like a good sea shanty, maybe you should take the bus to Cadelona!

• Lance LeBow : You know, we put this prank together in a matter of just a couple of hours thanks to family friends, Alan Twitty and Tawny Dean Now, what prompted you two to call Gotcha with this great prank?

  Twitty : Uhh... guilt and shame.

  Tawny Dean : Okay, I would like to say that embarrassing innocent people on TV for fun and profit is one of the lowest, disgusting...

  [Tawny and cameraman fight over the camera] 

  Tawny Dean : Gimme that!

• Twitty : Well, it's all our fault...

  [Twitty stops guiltily. Tawny stare at him] 

  Twitty : Uh, all my fault... I set them up.

  Tom Gribalski : I'm doubly appalled.

  Tawny Dean : You could help us, Tom. And you could help Louis.

  Tom Gribalski : Well, Louis is my friend... when it suits him. And I can accept that. What can I do?

  Twitty : Can you sail this tub to Catalona?

• Miles McDermott : This is gonna be sweet!

  Twitty : I'll show you sweet.