Kung Phooey! (2003)

Michael Man-Kin Chow: Art Chew

Quotes 

• One Ton : You know how to make a Mandarin duck?

  One Ton : [after Art Chew has blocked his punch]  Hey, you're supposed to duck.

  Art Chew : I'm not Mandarin. I'm Cantonese. No such thing as Cantonese duck.

  Lo Fat : Oooh, a wise guy, aaah.

• Waymon : He couldn't afford the overhead, so he sold it to Henry Yeh!

  Art Chew : Who?

  Waymon : No, Yeh!

  Uncle Wong : Now, his daughter - Helen - owns it!

  Waymon : Helen Yeh.

  Uncle Wong : No, Hu!

  Art Chew : Who?

  Uncle Wong : Yeh! She marry a Hu!

  Art Chew : Helen, who?

  Waymon : Helen Yeh!

  Art Chew : He said, who?

  Uncle Wong : I said, Yeh! She married a Hu!

  Art Chew : So who owns the restaurant, now?

  Waymon : She does!

  Art Chew : Who does?

  Uncle Wong : Dat's what I saaaid!

  Art Chew : Uncle Wong. *Who's* been after the Ancient Peach for years? If she finds it, Shur-Li's finished.

  Uncle Wong : Shirley who's finished?

  Art Chew : I thought you said her name was Helen?

• Art Chew : Hi! You must be Helen Hu.

  Helen Hu : Why, yes, since I appear to be the only woman here, huh-aaah. And you aaare?

  Art Chew : Oh. My name is... Arthur Chew. My friends call me Art.

  Helen Hu : Art Chew?

  Art Chew : Bless ya!

• Helen Hu : What did you just say?

  Art Chew : You don't speak Chinese?

  Helen Hu : Only English with a Chinese accent.

• Art Chew : Hey! I see you collect peaches.

  Helen Hu : No, I collect dust. The peaches are something to keep it on.

• Art Chew : [into Helen Hu's face]  If you do happen to find The Peach, it might be *p*oisonous.

  Helen Hu : [into Art Chew's face]  Problems with *p*oor *p*reservation *P*erHAPS.

  Art Chew : [into Helen Hu's face with with increasingly overwhelming spit]  That particular primitive peach was *p*icked on *p*rivate *p*roperty where the *p*resence of *p*oison presented the potential problem to its *p*ermeable a*pp*eal. But there's no positive *proof*.

• Art Chew : I, eh, I jus' , I jus' wanna tell you that, um... your beauty surpasses the Autumn moon... rising over the Jade Palace... that serves dim sum from 11:00 to 2:00.

• Art Chew : One who tricks seeks only to fool himself. I am not fool. It is *you* who are the fool. And that's no trick. You fool.

• Art Chew : Bad guys never attack at the same time. Come on. Form a line. Come on. Pick a number.

• Art Chew : You fight in your underwear?

  Jean Fraud Croissant : Y- oui. Some fight without the shirt. I fight without the pants. The better for kicking.

  Art Chew : I'm not takin' my pants off.

  Jean Fraud Croissant : You take something off. Er, fight fair!