Invitation to Hell (1982) User Reviews

Strange, no-budget British horror

[msquared · 5/10 · 27 January 2004]

This odd short tells the story of a young virgin who is invited to spend time with her friends at a remote farmhouse in the English countryside. It soon becomes clear that someone - or something! - has demonic plans for her. Add into the mix a desperate race against time before a dark force is resurrected, a possessed handyman, and a heavy homoerotic subtext, and you have a very weird movie indeed. Thanks to the miniscule (and very obviously amateur) cast, and lingering shots of the countryside, the film possesses an eerie, empty quality that is reminiscent of such 70's British classics as The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue, Vampyres and Frightmare. However, there's also a dose of giallo-type gore, and a bizarre ending that could belong in an Argento movie. Invitation to Hell is an obscure film that was released in the early 80's on video. It's long-since been deleted (I picked up my second- or third-hand copy from eBay), but if you're an afficionado of British horror, or in search of something a bit different, this is worth seeking out.

Inconvinence From Hell

[Tromafreak · 4/10 · 7 December 2008]

Well, I read all the IMDb reviews (except that long one) including the ones specifically stating how awful the DVD bootleg is, with all the sound issues. I can handle it, I thought, being a lover of bad movies and all, and British Horror has rarely done me wrong. Besides, how much dialog can there be in a 54 (turned out to be 41) minute movie, anyway? Well, never mind that, and never mind the head-ache inducing roar which replaces most of the dialog, I have a serious lack of common sense, when searching for bad movies, Actually taking some of these IMDb reviews serious for a change would probably help, then I wouldn't have had to pay perfectly good money for an inconvenience from Hell, like Invitation to Hell.

A woman named Jackie is invited to a remote farmhouse for a high school reunion/costume party, where it's somehow discovered that she's still a virgin. This news hits everyones ears just fine, because they're all Satan worshipers, and were needing a virgin for their ceremony, so guess who's never allowed to leave...

If, for some reason, any of this sounds interesting, and If the DVD bootleg is your only option, then, For any chance at all of understanding anything, turn the TV down a little. Not exactly a diamond in the rough, but if I thought real hard I could probably think of a better analogy. Invitation To Hell actually isn't the worst movie I've ever seen (see The Chooper) but it very well may be in the bottom 5, although, it was a little gorier than I thought, which always deserves recognition. Invitation To Hell is a rather haunting, gloomy, horror movie, which can almost resemble quality, at times, so I feel bad giving this one such a low score, but if you ever see it, you'll probably wonder why the hell anyone would actually write about such an insignificant obscurity, much less, have the nerve to not give it a one. Just, something about British horror, I guess. For something more entertaining from England, I would recommend anything from Vampyres to Shaun Of The Dead, but if you're like me and have a hard time making a sensible decision, then I would highly recommend Invitation To Hell. 3/10

Invitation To Hell - Yes, It Was. 1-2-Miss.

[P3n-E-W1s3 · 3/10 · 23 April 2022]

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Invitation To Hell; before launching into my critique, here's a breakdown of my ratings:

Story - 0.75 Direction - 0.50 Pace - 0.50 Acting - 0.75 Enjoyment - 1.00

TOTAL - 3.50 out of 10

One of the foremost drawbacks of the eighties for movie watchers was the video camera. Video players were an outstanding and life-changing invention - for once, instead of going to the movies, you could go to friends or stay home and watch a film. But any numpty with a camera could shoot a motion picture and find somebody to fund distribution. And that is what appears to have happened with Invitation To Hell.

The synopsis of the story is rather substantial. Sadly the writer wasn't skilled enough to build the outline into a fully-fledged tale of horror. There needed to be more details and believable characters. For example, a scene where the two old friends meet and one invites the other to a party would have anchored the evil twist in the invite's tail better than having the woman just turn up. More background on the evil inhabiting the farm would also pull the audience in more. There's not enough meat on the story's bones to make it fulfilling.

Lamentably, the writer also directed the picture, and his skills are as weak as the scripting. Blissfully, however, he does keep all the scenes well lit. There is even one impressive special effects sequence. The demon knifes one of the farmworkers to a bedroom wall, crucifix style, then pulls the heart from their chest. It's not the best FX, but for this low a budget, it's bloody magnificent. Regretfully, the rest of the camera work is well below par. There are scenes where people talk, but their mouths are closed tight. But worst of all is the meandering pace. The film only lasts three-quarters of an hour, but it feels much, much, much longer.

Ah, now we get to the acting, and it's as bad as the writing and direction. A good cast could have made this drivel watchable. The cast is so wooden in their delivery, that I could have gone outside and watched the trees in the garden and gotten a better performance.

So with a sad heart, I suggest you all miss this picture and do something more interesting with your lives: Like training a snail to race. Invitation To Hell can't even be called a B-Movie, it is that horrendous - there aren't even any unintentionally funny moments. I took the bullet on this one so you don't have to.

Please feel free to visit my Absolute Horror lists to see where I ranked Invitation To Hell - and to find a more enjoyable viewing experience.

Take Care & Stay Well.

'You're a Bleeding Nutcase Maurice'

[gavcrimson · 22 February 2001]

SPOILERS INCLUDED Invitation to Hell is a true mystery production- only three quarters of an hour long it seems to have been planned as a support featurette to a major release film, a brief niche in the dying days of both double features and the British film industry. It was never to be shown that way though and debuted on tape via a fly by night distributor around 1982- double billed with The Last Night, another short from the Michael J Murphy stable- bringing it to feature length. The Last Night depicts a shoddy bunch of amateur dramatic actors being terrorised by two escaped lunatics and is unique for being shot entirely in somnambulist slow motion - unsurprisingly when Invitation was reissued (in censored form) this support was not included. Invitation to Hell is Mr Murphy's minimalist gung-ho farmyard horror film- Maurice (Colin Efford) is a mute bodybuilder who exercises in front of porno pictures- Maurice works on Manor Farm where a bunch of students have unleashed 'the eternal lustings of the evil being'. Jackie (Becky Simpson) is tricked into staying at the farm's cottage where a Hallowe'en party quickly generates into a sinister black mass. Jackie wakes up the next morning with claw marks on her navel, to be told by her friends that they've accidently unleashed the spirit of the evil being who now lurks on the farm and since Jackie is a virgin the evil being wants to mate with her 'tomorrow night is the night of the spring equinox he will come to you to propagate his kind in flesh and blood- his offspring will be the most powerful thing on Earth'. Although any girl's reaction would be 'have arse will travel' (as Pat Astley would say) no one can leave the farm and occasionally the evil one possesses Maurice, encouraging him to butcher his friends when they step out of line. He impales one of the girls on a pitchfork and when a 'slut' farmgirl comes onto him, telling him she's leaving 'before I get done in' Maurice crushes her head like a raw egg. Although its a humourless film Invitation to Hell becomes irresistibly amusing due to how apathetic the inhabitants appear over the Satanic forces they are under siege from - murder and carnage it seems takes second place to arguments over who should take the HP sauce downstairs at night 'bring me back a brandy old chap'. Everyone seems aware of Maurice's 'problem' but don't really seem bothered, only Alan (Steven Longhurst) acknowledges his murder sprees and all he does is berat him with the severity you would a child who hasn't put away all his toys 'you know what he made you do before, and take your boots off before you go to bed'. Occasionally Alan is possessed by the evil being too- making silly faces and dispensing advice to Maurice 'have you killed Laura (changes to 'evil being' voice) YOU'VE DONE WELL I AM PLEASED'. Murphy also gives the film an off the wall sexual edge too as Jackie, none too pleased in the knowledge she's going to be worked over by some randy fiend tries to get one of the satanists into bed- Maurice however saves the day sticking a knife through the stuffy stud's neck- a terminal case of coitus interruptus indeed. Far more unusual in the horror film pantheon is the hint of a sexual relationship between Alan and Maurice. Drunkenly bursting in on Maurice flexing his muscles over girlie pictures, a catty Alan fires darts into the model's breasts (this imagery was later cut from the film) and remarks 'you ought to come down the pub with me, I know you ain't gonna talk but you'll be something to look at'. Eventually Maurice fights a demonically possessed Alan, who ends up wrapped in a carpet and thrown onto a bonfire. In the remarkable last reel Alan however returns as a burnt skeleton in a sack to crucify a topless Maurice to his wall of dirty pictures. 'You cannot kill me, I am Death' the monster tells Maurice as he pulls his heart out, splashing blood over Maurice's beloved bust models. While bloody death is the spectacle, bad acting is the real star of Invitation to Hell. With his thick Cornish accent, raspy 'evil being' voice and attempts to act drunk, any scene with Longhurst in is wickedly funny. Also look out for a soon to be murdered girl's strange ode to 'safe old Putney' as well as the pompous actor who delivers the aforementioned 'Spring Equinox' speech with stunning disinterest. Next to nothing is known about these people or their 'creation' although the crummy world of amateur dramatics depicted in The Last Night and stock company of actors that appear in both shorts gives the impression that Invitation to Hell was thrown together by a frustrated acting troupe trying to crawl up the lower end of the showbiz ladder. No further features by Michael J Murphy exist, nor have his actors appeared in anything else. Invitation too has very much disappeared from sight and is known to the few, yet Murphy's brief contribution to the seedy side of british cinema with its bad dream like illogicality, potmarked by goofy Herschell Gordon Lewis violence and a strong sexual undercurrent is in its own way quite likable and if nothing else a curio number. Maybe one day every british cottage will have a trashy horror movie like this made in it.

Weird no-budget horror flick.

[HumanoidOfFlesh · 5/10 · 10 August 2012]

Laura invites her college friend Jacky out to her country estate for a costume party.What Jacky does not know is that she is a pawn in a demonic game.That evening she is drugged and taken out to what appears to be a black magic altar.The next morning she awakens with claw-like scratches on her legs and,when she tries to escape,finds she is trapped in this location.But why are her friends keeping her here and who do they truly serve?Pretty boring and drawn-out horror flick which lasts only 50 minutes or so.There are some wonderfully odd and surreal moments plus some nasty gore on display.The acting is very bad,but if you are into micro-budget horror cinema give this one a swirl.5 satanic farms out of 10.

SOV reunion

[BandSAboutMovies · 3/10 · 27 September 2021]

No, not the 1984 Wes Craven-directed, Susan Lucci-starring Invitation to Hell - which is great - but instead the British 1982 SOV movie!

Jackie has been invited to her high school reunion - which for some reason is a costume party, which I guess must be a British thing, UK readers please inform us - but because she's a virgin, she's selected as a sacrifice for the spring by the druids amongst her classmates.

Some dude tries to do our heroine the favor of taking away her virginity so that she survives, but then a latex-masked demon shows up and his eyes glow and he crucifies one character against a wall of Page 3 girls and then gorily pulls out his insides and hey - isn't that why we watch movies? I mean, maybe isn't that why I watch movies?

The same dude also wore an old-school paper Hulk mask for much of the early part of the movie, so copyrights - and the video nasty controversy which was going on at the time - be damned.

Invitation to a headache

[blurnieghey · 1/10 · 7 February 2021]

This is one of those no-budget movies that may have been sort of cool back I the day because less people were doing them due to not having access to the equipment to pull off such a production. Thanks to improvements in technology and reduction in costs, a growing number of no-talents make boring movies like this for why, exactly? Because they can, I assume. No action, lame gore, horrible dialogue and acting, and only glimpse of nudity makes this thing a chore to watch. There's a certain charm to old movies like this and I usually give them a bit of a pass just for nostalgia's sake, but I can't think of anything nice to say about this one--it's pretty much the bottom of the barrel.

And then there's the sound quality issues. Considering the rarity of this film, if you are unfortunate enough to run across it, odds are it will be that bootleg that went into distribution a few years ago and the sound will be unlistenable and almost unintelligible in parts, just completely blown out. How to describe it? Imagine running the audio from your VCR into a cheap stereo, then running the output into a tape deck with the recording level up to 10, then running the output from the tape deck into a cheap guitar practice amp, sitting at the end of a 30' long by 2' wide drainage pipe with a microphone on the other end of it, the audio recorded from that microphone being used as the audio for this film. It's that bad.

Invitation Accepted - Below average no budget horror

[ninjaalexs · 4/10 · 5 February 2022]

This is a no budget British horror film. Allegedly made for £50, whether that is true or not it sure looks like it.

A young woman goes to a fancy dress party and finds she is to be sacrificed as part of a satanic cult.

The film is influenced by classics like The Exorcist and has some slasher elements like a knife through the throat (best gore effect in the film).

The budget shows and the film looks like it may have been shot on VHS or Hi-8 as it doesn't have the clarity of 16 or 35mm. The film first appeared on VHS tape with the director's other film The Last Night. I was convinced this was a video nasty, but it's a pre-cert that was never re-released in the UK. It does have a DVD release in USA. This film is not recommended but it is a rare curiosity of British horror.

Michael J. Murphy or MJM went onto write and direct a series of straight to video cheapies in various genres: slasher, sex, fantasy. He died in 2015.

Sorta Like This Movie

[jed-estes · 7/10 · 8 August 2006]

I know the sound is horrid if you can even call it sound and the acting is garbage again if you can call it acting. But this film does turn away most people and i like that about this film. By being a horrid mess it makes the film more personal to me. So when I watch it I feel like it is my own movie. Also for any one looking for the Wes Craven Invitation to Hell this is not it. That film is worse to watch than this. Even though the Craven movie can be heard it still sucks because Susan Lucici (or however you spell her name) should have stayed in Daytime Limbo where she belongs and not muddled up the great Wes Craven's movie. So if you want a film that takes a little work to watch Invitation to Hell (1982) is for you. trust me when your friends are at school talking about the latest Michael Bay crap fest you can blow them away with your knowledge of underground cinema. I know it worked for me.

With imagination, enthusiasm, and earnest effort, even the roughest amateur horror can be really fun.

[I_Ailurophile · 7/10 · 31 October 2023]

Extremely indie. Extremely low-budget. Weak acting, weak direction, extremely forthright storytelling; "sets" that are obviously the home or homes of those involved, or their friends; bare-faced cinematography, highly variable sound design. In every capacity the contributions here are so humble that this absolutely comes across as amateur horror of the early 80s, except perhaps with production values that are slightly better than "shot on video." Even if I'm mistaken, my point still stands. Yet such words do not specifically, significantly speak to the overall quality. I've watched some amateur horror that was unexpectedly well done, and very fun; some examples are substantially better than what some major studio fare represents. Few skills, few resources, and little experience do not inherently discount the possibility of a movie being deserving and enjoyable; more can sometimes be achieved with earnest effort, hard work, and imagination than with the most recognizable stars and millions of dollars. To whatever extent 1982's 'Invitation to hell' does not meet a loose definition of "amateur horror," you could have fooled me - but even with its shortcomings, I think it's fairly decent!

This is definitely rough; the limitations under which the project operated are very clear, in every regard. The picture is low-grade even by the standards of its most closely related kin, and that comes across in the meager writing not least. Be that as it may, I do see the sincerity in what those involved were making, and the creativity, and the energy poured into it. The attempted acting only gets us so far, but the cast do try so commendably, and some actors and some moments come off better than others. Modest as the writing is, with ample room for improvement in its details, Carl Humphrey penned a compelling story of firm foundations, with appreciable broad strokes of scene writing to begin to flesh it out. The filming location is pretty swell. Michael J. Murphy's direction may be fledgling, but the least that can be said is that he ably put together a cohesive feature. Of all things, I'm actually most impressed with Terence Mills' original music - an array of ambient themes that lend uneasy atmosphere to the proceedings - and with the stunts, effects, and special makeup, all of which look surprisingly good given the otherwise nature of the production.

Strictly speaking issues abound in these (approximately) forty-five minutes, and if nothing else is true, a tad more development of the screenplay would have helped the narrative to gel. Even so, I really do like the story as we see it, sharing much in common with titles of more renown. From beginning to end there are terrific ideas on hand, and it's unfortunate only that the participants lacked greater means to bring them to fruition. It bears repeating, though, that the honest work and enthusiasm that everyone carried with them into 'Invitation to hell' compensates for the skill, experience, and financing they could not, and when these admirable qualities are combined with what really is done well, the result is more entertaining and satisfying than it probably has any right to be. I can fully understand how films operating on this level don't appeal to all comers; there was a time when I would have said much the same. The difference is readily discernible, however, between a title that was made with care and one that was not, and when you get down to it that can sometimes make a world of difference. And just so: I, for one, love what the cast and crew put together here, and I see what they were doing even if they were unable to shape the whole into its ideal. At such a tiny length, and in so crude a form, 'Invitation to hell' is nevertheless fun and suitably well done, and I think it's worth checking out!

Cheap and weird...I kinda liked this!

[EyeAskance · 26 March 2004]

Wonky little British trinket wherein a girl is lured to a farmhouse in the pastoral outlands to become an unwitting participant in a Satanic ritual. There are several people staying in the house, and a few end up dying gory deaths or becoming possessed by a demon. The film is badly shot, and the sound quality is occasionally muffled, but this has a surreal edge to it that got to me a bit(and put forward some moments of pretty strong gore). Also strange is the film's subtle gay-rotic undercurrent(one lengthy scene of two guys wrestling almost looks as though it might segue into a man-on-man porn scene).

I would hastily recommend this one to people who enjoy quirky, low-budget horror obscurities. 5/10

not worthy of cult status

[horrorbargainbin · 10 November 2002]

Maybe I'm just mad I spent five dollars on this instead of one dollar, but this film really displeased me. It's semi-known for it's gore and perhaps 'banned' status. I could not make out many of the details because the tape quality (Videoline Productions) was extremely poor, but the gore I saw was not exceptional. There were lots of guests over when I was watching this video and I was kind of embarrassed to be caught viewing some of the film's more boring moments. When there is no action on screen, the combination of bad acting, bad dialogue, and an uncompelling story make this movie a waste of time.