My Boss's Daughter (2003)

Ashton Kutcher: Tom Stansfield

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Jack Taylor introduces his pet owl] 

  Jack Taylor : This is O.J.

  Tom Stansfield : O.J.? Like the murderer?

  Jack Taylor : No, like a football player. O.J. Simpson.

• Tom Stansfield : Hey put the crowbar down, or I will blow your ass to fucktown!

• Jack Taylor : What's this I hear about you threatening to spray this play with an AK-47?

  Tom Stansfield : Oh... well, I was just making a joke.

  Jack Taylor : Oh that's funny to you? People dying? And what's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?

  Tom Stansfield : I never make fun of midgets!

  Jack Taylor : You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.

• T.J. : You rat me out, I'm gonna carve you like a turkey and beat your kids with what's left of you.

  Tom Stansfield : I don't have any kids.

  T.J. : I can wait.

• Tom Stansfield : I appreciate all your help, but could you make sure that your friends stay out of the house?

  Audrey Bennett : All of them or just the colored guy?

  Tom Stansfield : No, all of them.

  Audrey Bennett : Oh, that's smart. That way the colored guy won't take it personal.

• Audrey Bennett : Speed, tell Tom about Kennedy's assassination. This is so cool, Tom, Speed knows who killed JFK. No ask him, Tom, ask him! Ask him who killed him!

  Tom Stansfield : Alright, alright. Who killed JFK?

  Speed : Desi... Arnaz.

  [Tom sees a mouse running loose, runs away to catch it] 

  Speed : [to Audrey]  His life just changed.