- Rabbi: [about his Christian counterparts] They're praying to God. They should be praying for better lawyers.
- Jules Myers: You're going to sue one of the world's biggest insurance companies?
- Steve Meyers: Well, apparently I wouldn't stand a chance - I'm suin' God.
- Jules Myers: You know they say people make their own luck.
- Rebecca: That's stupid! Why would anyone make luck that bad?
- Steve Meyers: So if God does exist, the Churches must be liable.
- Anna Redmond: And the churches can only win the case if they prove God does not exist.
- Steve Meyers: [laughs] Do you want to tell them?
- Primate: It's a sign.
- Cardinal: A miracle.
- Moderator: A winged messenger.
- Gerry Ryan: It's a f***ing cockatoo!
- Doctor: Forceps. Pliers. Bone nibblers.
- Steve Meyers: Bone nibblers? What the hell are bone nibblers?
- Doctor: You're a very lucky man.
- Steve Meyers: Oh yes, it's been a brilliant day all round. Why don't you have a look at my prostate while you've got the bone nibblers handy.
- Rebecca: I'm proud of you Dad. No matter what happens.
- Steve Meyers: Well, nothing can stop us now!
- [Hugs her]
- Anna Redmond: So how long do you think it'll take you to pay the money back?
- Steve Meyers: Oh not long... twenty, thirty, forty years!