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Hondo:
You know what they say, you're either SWAT or you're not.
Street: So why'd you pick me?
Hondo: To piss off the captain.
Deke: We need to sell that shit on eBay.
Street: I only have one.
Deke: We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market, break 'em down like a shotgun. The Polish Penatrater
Hondo: You wanna join S.W.A.T?
Chris: No. I just like applying all the time.
Gamble: Fuck you and S.W.A.T.
McCabe: What? No roll, Hondo?
Hondo: How do you know I didn't?
McCabe: You didn't, did you?
Hondo: They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life.
[about Hondo's S.W.A.T. selection]
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sanchez is a woman and Street, well he's on my shit list
Hondo: Hey! I'm on your shit list too and I'm the team captain.
Polish Hostage: It's the damn robot aliens.
Street: [to Gamble] Is this your girlfriend? Cute.
Gamble's thug in bar: No, but you can be my bitch.
Street: [recoils in mock horror] Really?
[to Captain Fuller]
Hondo: Shame you're not playing a terrorist.
Boxer: I just want to know what you did to my little sister.
Street: She's 28, Boxer, okay? And trust me, she's not so little.
McCabe: [laughing] Oh no, you didn't...
Street: [to McCabe] Looks like you're not the prettiest one on S.W.A.T. anymore.
Chris: You wanna come to my house?
Street: That was easy.
Chris: My kid's having a birthday party tomorrow.
McCabe: This was supposed to be simple snatch and extract.
Brian Gamble: Boxer was a threat, T.J.
McCabe: Boxer was my friend!
Brian Gamble: He was mine too.
Alex Montel: Stop crying. You can buy new friends.
McCabe: Don't give me any more reason to kill you.
Alex Montel: What are going to do, shoot me? You should relax a little bit, my friend. I'm the money here. Don't forget it.
Brian Gamble: We don't have time for this shit. Look, you can go ahead. I know this sucks. Let's worry about it in paradise, all right?
Hondo: Here's where watching 'The World's Most Exciting Police Chases' pays off.
[about Boxer's mustache]
Boxer: Your mother likes it.
Street: So does your sister.
Hondo: The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.
Deke: So what if he's Polish?
Hondo: No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.
Hondo: You know what? I think he might be Polish.
Deke: Unbelievable.
[From the first trailer]
Hondo: Let's try to get in the killing mode.
Chris: I am in killing mode.
Hondo: So why you smiling?
Chris: Because it tickles me.
Velasquez: SWAT stands for Special Weapons And Tactics. Where were your tactics out there?
[after shooting through a hostage to take out the bank robber holding her by the neck]
Gamble: I saved a hostage from getting shot.
Chris Sanchez: Just because I bought you a drink doesn't mean you're getting laid tonight.
Street: So, what does two drinks mean?
Gamble: So this is what it's come down to, bustin' down doors with J-Lo?
Deke: Tell daddy how you want it.
Gus: [discussing his wife's disapproval of the soft drink Dr. Pepper] You know the deal, Jim. When we got married, I converted to Mormonism. We can't consume anything that alters our state of mind. We treat out bodies with respect.
Street: And I treat mine like an amusement park. That's the differences that make this country great!
Brian Gamble: [to Street] You're like a goddamn rash!
Brian Gamble: You know, I didn't know that they made bulletproof bras. Is it just me? But you know, I didn't know that.
Chris Sanchez: What they need to make are bulletproof condoms big enough to fit your big head.
[the team's progress is halted by a firmly locked gate]
Deke: Ain't this a bitch?
Street: A cold hard one.
[last lines]
Hondo: Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.
Street: So?
Hondo: Yeah. What the hell. Mount up.
Hondo: You look like you need a Band-Aid.
Street: Somebody else needs a body bag downstairs.
Alex Montel: What do you make, $66,000 a year?
Street: Not even with overtime.
Alex Montel: Ha, loser.
Street: Bad day, huh?
Beat-up Latino Thug: Kiss my ass, ese.
Street: Gamble, let her go!
Gamble: Take a shot, Jimbo!
McCabe: [lying in the disabled learjet] How's Boxer?
Hondo: What do you care?
McCabe: C'mon, Hondo, just give me that.
Hondo: He's going to make it.
McCabe: Good.
Hondo: Just couldn't resist, could ya? So what do you wanna do?
McCabe: Goddamnit, Sarge.
[McCabe shoots himself dead]
Alex Montel: American Greed.
Street: Shut up.
Alex Montel: So reliable.
Street: Shut Up! Another officer is dead because you shot your mouth off.
Alex Montel: That's how I like cops - dead.
Street: You wanna join him? Huh?
Alex Montel: He knew the dangers, no? That's why he signed up to be a police officer. Carry a gun in the Wild West - like you, Cowboy. Would you be sitting here if this job wasn't dangerous? Huh? Anyway... killing him probably got you 20 new recruits. You should thank me.
Street: Yeah, you're right, I should. Boxer, thank him for me, will ya?
Boxer: Love to.
[Elbows Montel in the stomach]
Uncle Martin Gascoigne: Your father is running the business.
Alex Montel: No, I... I retired him.
Uncle Martin Gascoigne: Really? He never spoke of that to me.
Alex Montel: That's because he can't speak. I slit his throat.
[Slashes Gascoigne's throat]
[after hearing Street over radio yell officer down]
Hondo: Flip a bitch!
Deke: Flippin' a bitch!
Hondo: Street, you have a driver's license?
Street: Got a library card.
Hondo: Good enough. So get your uniform on. You're driving me around today.
Hondo: Oh look, they got their own airport security.
Hondo: I need your A-game boys... and girl.
Hondo: 10-David, this is 70-David.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: 70-David, where the hell are you?
Hondo: We are somewhere around Sixth and Trenton. We lost communication in the tunnels. Where's our backup?
Capt. Thomas Fuller: [**POSSIBLE SPOILER**] Everything I have is going to Hawthorne Airport. That's where your friends Gamble and T.J. McCabe are headed.
Hondo: That's the other side of town! Send a couple units to pick us up.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: PICK YOU UP? For all I know you're in on this! I got a good mind to bring you in!
Hondo: [to Street, Sanchez, and Deke] Like hell. Come on, let's go.
Airport Screener: [after finding a pocket knife in customer's carryon bag] You can't bring this through the airport!
Hondo: Drop Fruit of the Loomski in the A-car.
Chris: Remind me to buy some shares in Kevlar.
Hondo: Sorry. Wrong room.
Chris: Who are you looking for?
Hondo: Chris Sanchez.
Chris: I'm Chris Sanchez.
Hondo: YOU'RE Chris Sanchez?
Chris: Look, if you're Internal Affairs, that guy had razorblades in his mouth. I had to put him down hard. I'm sick and tired of these bullshit complains because some vato doesn't like getting thrown to the pavement by a woman.
Hondo: [Raises eyebrow] I look like IAD to you?
[Sanchez shrugs]
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Nice job.
Hondo: Don't sound so happy.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Still got a problem. He's still here.
[Gestures towards Alex Montel]
Chris: Road trip?
Street: [Beaten up from the fight with Gamble] Road trip.
Hondo: Yeah... road trip. Guess you'll have to fire us later.
[Street spits blood out of his mouth, team walks away toward arriving SWAT truck with Fuller smiling at the team for once in the whole movie]
McCabe: [as Gamble retrieves a hidden landmine] You gotta be shittin' me.
Hondo: How can I trust a man who won't eat a good old-fashioned American hotdog?
Street: [smiling] He's a vegetarian.
Hondo: [Deleted Scene: Hondo Reviews Files at Home outside, hears a noise on the ground, then looks down at a deer from his balcony] Hey! Get the hell off my damn property.
Hondo: [Deer looks at him] There's coyotes up here.
Hondo: As a rule, they're punks, but if I was you, I'd watch my back.
Patrol Officer: [Deleted Scene: Gun shop where owners are watching bank robbery coverage on TV, and an LAPD Patrol Officer runs in with his partner] You got anything that can penetrate body armor?
Gun Shop Owner: No sir, those are restricted weapons...
Patrol Officer: [Interrupts] Bullshit. What do you got in the back?
Gun Shop Owner: You know, I actually might have a thing or two...
[Heads to back of shop, and says to other gun shop owner]
Gun Shop Owner: You want to get a case of those .223's for em?
Gun Shop Owner 2: You got it.
Gun Shop Owner: [Returns with 3 assault rifles] Here we go... how do you plan on paying for these?
Patrol Officer: The city will reimburse you.
Gun Shop Owner: For restricted weapons out of the back of my shop?
Patrol Officer: [as the 2 officers run back out] We owe ya!
Deke: [Deleted Scene: Locker Room] So my wife's all worried about me workin' SWAT.
Boxer: They always are at first.
Deke: [Imitates his wife] "How am I gonna take care of the kids if something happens to you?" So I called to get a little extra insurance. When I tell the chick down there I'm workin SWAT, guess what she does?
McCabe: Laughs?
Boxer: Hangs up?
Deke: She laughs her ass off, AND hangs up.
McCabe: [as Boxer and TJ laugh] Bitch. Alright guys, take care.
Velasquez: [Deleted Scene: Hondo's Introduction- Lt. Velasquez says to Officers of SWAT Division] Gentlemen! Our new 70-David has just made his first stealth entry. If you don't know him, you've probably heard of him: Sergeant Dan "Hondo" Harrelson!
[Officers cheer and applaud, with Boxer and McCabe's voices louder than the others]
Velasquez: Here is a man who will outrun, outfight, outshoot
[Hondo raises his eyebrows in disbelief at Velasquez]
Velasquez: , outsmart, out-paperwork, ALL OF YOU.
McCabe: I got 20 bucks says otherwise.
Boxer: I'll cover 10 of it for you.
Velasquez: Now you know gambling's not allowed, and I shouldn't have to tell you that... but I'll cover that 10.
Boxer: Done.
Velasquez: Few words, Sergeant?
Hondo: As a matter of fact...
[Pretends to smack TJ with his book]
Boxer: [to Street] Hey, don't forget to take your safety off!
Hondo: Street. Don't beat him so badly I can't get a rematch, all right?
Street: I won't make any promises.
Hondo: It's my money, man.
Hondo: Let's go make the Captain look like a hero.
Robber #1: I said kill that bitch and throw her out front!
Robber #2: [Looking at a survailence camera] Hey, I'm on TV.
Hondo: Deke, the frog's runnin'!
Hondo: [Deke shoots a card] 10 of Spades. Spade flush.
Street: Hondo, isn't that a straight flush?
Hondo: Hold the phone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of Spades. Deke!
Deke: Beats four Aces in Compton any day!
Alex Montel: [to news cameras, as he is being led into prison] I will give 100 million dollars to whoever gets me out of here.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sometimes doing the right thing isn't doing the right thing.
Sgt. Howard: What the hell is that supposed mean?
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Street: So why'd you pick me?
Hondo: To piss off the captain.
Deke: We need to sell that shit on eBay.
Street: I only have one.
Deke: We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market, break 'em down like a shotgun. The Polish Penatrater
Hondo: You wanna join S.W.A.T?
Chris: No. I just like applying all the time.
Gamble: Fuck you and S.W.A.T.
McCabe: What? No roll, Hondo?
Hondo: How do you know I didn't?
McCabe: You didn't, did you?
Hondo: They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life.
[about Hondo's S.W.A.T. selection]
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sanchez is a woman and Street, well he's on my shit list
Hondo: Hey! I'm on your shit list too and I'm the team captain.
Polish Hostage: It's the damn robot aliens.
Street: [to Gamble] Is this your girlfriend? Cute.
Gamble's thug in bar: No, but you can be my bitch.
Street: [recoils in mock horror] Really?
[to Captain Fuller]
Hondo: Shame you're not playing a terrorist.
Boxer: I just want to know what you did to my little sister.
Street: She's 28, Boxer, okay? And trust me, she's not so little.
McCabe: [laughing] Oh no, you didn't...
Street: [to McCabe] Looks like you're not the prettiest one on S.W.A.T. anymore.
Chris: You wanna come to my house?
Street: That was easy.
Chris: My kid's having a birthday party tomorrow.
McCabe: This was supposed to be simple snatch and extract.
Brian Gamble: Boxer was a threat, T.J.
McCabe: Boxer was my friend!
Brian Gamble: He was mine too.
Alex Montel: Stop crying. You can buy new friends.
McCabe: Don't give me any more reason to kill you.
Alex Montel: What are going to do, shoot me? You should relax a little bit, my friend. I'm the money here. Don't forget it.
Brian Gamble: We don't have time for this shit. Look, you can go ahead. I know this sucks. Let's worry about it in paradise, all right?
Hondo: Here's where watching 'The World's Most Exciting Police Chases' pays off.
[about Boxer's mustache]
Boxer: Your mother likes it.
Street: So does your sister.
Hondo: The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.
Deke: So what if he's Polish?
Hondo: No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.
Hondo: You know what? I think he might be Polish.
Deke: Unbelievable.
[From the first trailer]
Hondo: Let's try to get in the killing mode.
Chris: I am in killing mode.
Hondo: So why you smiling?
Chris: Because it tickles me.
Velasquez: SWAT stands for Special Weapons And Tactics. Where were your tactics out there?
[after shooting through a hostage to take out the bank robber holding her by the neck]
Gamble: I saved a hostage from getting shot.
Chris Sanchez: Just because I bought you a drink doesn't mean you're getting laid tonight.
Street: So, what does two drinks mean?
Gamble: So this is what it's come down to, bustin' down doors with J-Lo?
Deke: Tell daddy how you want it.
Gus: [discussing his wife's disapproval of the soft drink Dr. Pepper] You know the deal, Jim. When we got married, I converted to Mormonism. We can't consume anything that alters our state of mind. We treat out bodies with respect.
Street: And I treat mine like an amusement park. That's the differences that make this country great!
Brian Gamble: [to Street] You're like a goddamn rash!
Brian Gamble: You know, I didn't know that they made bulletproof bras. Is it just me? But you know, I didn't know that.
Chris Sanchez: What they need to make are bulletproof condoms big enough to fit your big head.
[the team's progress is halted by a firmly locked gate]
Deke: Ain't this a bitch?
Street: A cold hard one.
[last lines]
Hondo: Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.
Street: So?
Hondo: Yeah. What the hell. Mount up.
Hondo: You look like you need a Band-Aid.
Street: Somebody else needs a body bag downstairs.
Alex Montel: What do you make, $66,000 a year?
Street: Not even with overtime.
Alex Montel: Ha, loser.
Street: Bad day, huh?
Beat-up Latino Thug: Kiss my ass, ese.
Street: Gamble, let her go!
Gamble: Take a shot, Jimbo!
McCabe: [lying in the disabled learjet] How's Boxer?
Hondo: What do you care?
McCabe: C'mon, Hondo, just give me that.
Hondo: He's going to make it.
McCabe: Good.
Hondo: Just couldn't resist, could ya? So what do you wanna do?
McCabe: Goddamnit, Sarge.
[McCabe shoots himself dead]
Alex Montel: American Greed.
Street: Shut up.
Alex Montel: So reliable.
Street: Shut Up! Another officer is dead because you shot your mouth off.
Alex Montel: That's how I like cops - dead.
Street: You wanna join him? Huh?
Alex Montel: He knew the dangers, no? That's why he signed up to be a police officer. Carry a gun in the Wild West - like you, Cowboy. Would you be sitting here if this job wasn't dangerous? Huh? Anyway... killing him probably got you 20 new recruits. You should thank me.
Street: Yeah, you're right, I should. Boxer, thank him for me, will ya?
Boxer: Love to.
[Elbows Montel in the stomach]
Uncle Martin Gascoigne: Your father is running the business.
Alex Montel: No, I... I retired him.
Uncle Martin Gascoigne: Really? He never spoke of that to me.
Alex Montel: That's because he can't speak. I slit his throat.
[Slashes Gascoigne's throat]
[after hearing Street over radio yell officer down]
Hondo: Flip a bitch!
Deke: Flippin' a bitch!
Hondo: Street, you have a driver's license?
Street: Got a library card.
Hondo: Good enough. So get your uniform on. You're driving me around today.
Hondo: Oh look, they got their own airport security.
Hondo: I need your A-game boys... and girl.
Hondo: 10-David, this is 70-David.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: 70-David, where the hell are you?
Hondo: We are somewhere around Sixth and Trenton. We lost communication in the tunnels. Where's our backup?
Capt. Thomas Fuller: [**POSSIBLE SPOILER**] Everything I have is going to Hawthorne Airport. That's where your friends Gamble and T.J. McCabe are headed.
Hondo: That's the other side of town! Send a couple units to pick us up.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: PICK YOU UP? For all I know you're in on this! I got a good mind to bring you in!
Hondo: [to Street, Sanchez, and Deke] Like hell. Come on, let's go.
Airport Screener: [after finding a pocket knife in customer's carryon bag] You can't bring this through the airport!
Hondo: Drop Fruit of the Loomski in the A-car.
Chris: Remind me to buy some shares in Kevlar.
Hondo: Sorry. Wrong room.
Chris: Who are you looking for?
Hondo: Chris Sanchez.
Chris: I'm Chris Sanchez.
Hondo: YOU'RE Chris Sanchez?
Chris: Look, if you're Internal Affairs, that guy had razorblades in his mouth. I had to put him down hard. I'm sick and tired of these bullshit complains because some vato doesn't like getting thrown to the pavement by a woman.
Hondo: [Raises eyebrow] I look like IAD to you?
[Sanchez shrugs]
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Nice job.
Hondo: Don't sound so happy.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Still got a problem. He's still here.
[Gestures towards Alex Montel]
Chris: Road trip?
Street: [Beaten up from the fight with Gamble] Road trip.
Hondo: Yeah... road trip. Guess you'll have to fire us later.
[Street spits blood out of his mouth, team walks away toward arriving SWAT truck with Fuller smiling at the team for once in the whole movie]
McCabe: [as Gamble retrieves a hidden landmine] You gotta be shittin' me.
Hondo: How can I trust a man who won't eat a good old-fashioned American hotdog?
Street: [smiling] He's a vegetarian.
Hondo: [Deleted Scene: Hondo Reviews Files at Home outside, hears a noise on the ground, then looks down at a deer from his balcony] Hey! Get the hell off my damn property.
Hondo: [Deer looks at him] There's coyotes up here.
Hondo: As a rule, they're punks, but if I was you, I'd watch my back.
Patrol Officer: [Deleted Scene: Gun shop where owners are watching bank robbery coverage on TV, and an LAPD Patrol Officer runs in with his partner] You got anything that can penetrate body armor?
Gun Shop Owner: No sir, those are restricted weapons...
Patrol Officer: [Interrupts] Bullshit. What do you got in the back?
Gun Shop Owner: You know, I actually might have a thing or two...
[Heads to back of shop, and says to other gun shop owner]
Gun Shop Owner: You want to get a case of those .223's for em?
Gun Shop Owner 2: You got it.
Gun Shop Owner: [Returns with 3 assault rifles] Here we go... how do you plan on paying for these?
Patrol Officer: The city will reimburse you.
Gun Shop Owner: For restricted weapons out of the back of my shop?
Patrol Officer: [as the 2 officers run back out] We owe ya!
Deke: [Deleted Scene: Locker Room] So my wife's all worried about me workin' SWAT.
Boxer: They always are at first.
Deke: [Imitates his wife] "How am I gonna take care of the kids if something happens to you?" So I called to get a little extra insurance. When I tell the chick down there I'm workin SWAT, guess what she does?
McCabe: Laughs?
Boxer: Hangs up?
Deke: She laughs her ass off, AND hangs up.
McCabe: [as Boxer and TJ laugh] Bitch. Alright guys, take care.
Velasquez: [Deleted Scene: Hondo's Introduction- Lt. Velasquez says to Officers of SWAT Division] Gentlemen! Our new 70-David has just made his first stealth entry. If you don't know him, you've probably heard of him: Sergeant Dan "Hondo" Harrelson!
[Officers cheer and applaud, with Boxer and McCabe's voices louder than the others]
Velasquez: Here is a man who will outrun, outfight, outshoot
[Hondo raises his eyebrows in disbelief at Velasquez]
Velasquez: , outsmart, out-paperwork, ALL OF YOU.
McCabe: I got 20 bucks says otherwise.
Boxer: I'll cover 10 of it for you.
Velasquez: Now you know gambling's not allowed, and I shouldn't have to tell you that... but I'll cover that 10.
Boxer: Done.
Velasquez: Few words, Sergeant?
Hondo: As a matter of fact...
[Pretends to smack TJ with his book]
Boxer: [to Street] Hey, don't forget to take your safety off!
Hondo: Street. Don't beat him so badly I can't get a rematch, all right?
Street: I won't make any promises.
Hondo: It's my money, man.
Hondo: Let's go make the Captain look like a hero.
Robber #1: I said kill that bitch and throw her out front!
Robber #2: [Looking at a survailence camera] Hey, I'm on TV.
Hondo: Deke, the frog's runnin'!
Hondo: [Deke shoots a card] 10 of Spades. Spade flush.
Street: Hondo, isn't that a straight flush?
Hondo: Hold the phone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of Spades. Deke!
Deke: Beats four Aces in Compton any day!
Alex Montel: [to news cameras, as he is being led into prison] I will give 100 million dollars to whoever gets me out of here.
Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sometimes doing the right thing isn't doing the right thing.
Sgt. Howard: What the hell is that supposed mean?
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