The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Christina Applegate: Courtney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Courtney : How could you not know what a glory hole is?

  Christina : Well unlike my WHORE friend Courtney Rockcliff, I don't usually spend much time in men's public bathrooms.

• Courtney : Fifty percent of what people say when they are joking is true, which means, you do wanna go to this wedding but you are too afraid to admit it. So, by making some sort of joke about it, you get to say what you really want without being vulnerable.

• Christina : You're too big to fit in here...

  [covers her front] 

  Courtney : Too big to fit in HERE...

  [smacks butt] 

  Courtney : OW! Unh!

  Jane : Too big to fit in here...

  [covers mouth and moans] 

  Christina : [Patrons begin playing music and drumming on things]  Oh, my God!

  Courtney : Oh my god, we are in Fame right now!

  Christina , Jane , Courtney : [All singing]  What a lovely ride

  Jane : Your penis is a thrill!

  Christina : Your penis is a Cadillac!

  Courtney : A giant Coupe DeVille!

  Christina , Jane , Courtney : [All singing]  Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load.

  Courtney : And when it makes delivery...

  Christina : It needs its own zip code! Nine-double zero PENIS!

• Christina : Ew! What is that?

  Courtney : What is what?

  Christina : You don't smell that?

  Courtney : Smell what? I don't smell anything.

  Christina : Oh Jesus! You're used to it, and that's, that's what's really scary!

  Courtney : I don't smell anything!

  Christina : It smells like moldy ass is what it smells like in here!

  Courtney : Wait a minute, come to think of it, I did leave some ass in the back.

  Christina : You did!

  Courtney : I did, about a week a ago. I did, it's the ass! It must be the ass!

• [while holding her breasts] 

  Christina : You know when I was 22, my breasts were up here, nice and perky, but gravity has taken them. It's like 22, 28, 22, 28, 22...

  Courtney : Buy some new ones!

• Christina : I got a penis in my eye.

  Courtney : Let me see.

  Christina : How is it? Is it okay?

  Courtney : Yeah, it's okay, but I think you're pregnant.

• Voice : There's someone in here.

  Christina : Sorry.

  Voice : It might be a while.

  Christina : How long?

  Voice : Let me put it to you this way. I had Lamb Curry last night and I'm shitting out a Buick!

  Courtney : Was it absolutely vital for her to tell us that?

• Courtney : Maybe it's you. Did somethin' crawl up your poonani?

  Christina : Hey! I have never had any complaints in the poonani odor department!

  Courtney : Yeah! Well neither have I, okay!

  Christina : High five on the clean poonani!

  [Gives a high five] 

  Courtney : Bitch!

• Courtney : That is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I mean, I flew across that room. And you got fucked in the eye!

• [to little boy sitting in the pew in front of her in church] 

  Courtney : Turn around.

  [Little boy shakes his head] 

  Courtney : Turn around.

  [Little boy shakes his head] 

  Courtney : Look, it's Jesus. Look at Jesus!

• Courtney : What you did was incredibly brave. You dropped all your boundaries and you met him half way... shit you met him more than halfway you went all the way to Somerset.

• [after knocking over a flower arrangement and disrupting an entire wedding] 

  Courtney : This isn't the Glichtman Barmitzvah is it? Mosha are you in here, no?

  Christina : Come along Sharron. Mazeltov! Shalom!

• Courtney : Oh, you know, the usual. Defending the rights of my broken hearted clients and try to squeeze every single penny out of their miserable cheating spouses.

• [Courtney and Christina look at reflection of themselves dressed in ridiculous clothes] 

  Christina , Courtney : These are..."The Days Of Our Lives"!

  Christina : *This* is not discreet, okay?

  Courtney : [chuckling]  No, it isn't.

  Christina : We are not gonna be able to walk into a wedding...

  Courtney : Oh, come on, it's *very* La Toya Jackson.

  Christina : [as the wind blows off her hat and she chases after it]  I mean, really, look at all this, I may as well strap a sign on my ass that says "Stalker." I am not going there wearing this outfit So can we please just go?

  Courtney : Yes, let's go. Let's go home.

  Christina : Really?

  Courtney : Yeah. I mean, we've driven for three and a half hours and everything, but, no, let's go.

• Christina , Courtney : Jane! JANEYYY!

  Jane : Sorry you guys, I'm really busy and...

  Christina , Courtney : Hey, wait, Jane

  [they begin singing] 

  Christina , Courtney : "Do you like Pina Coladas? And getting caught in the rain...?"

  Jane : [Watches her boyfriend in his mascot outfit topple down a flight of stairs]  ... shit!

• Leather Coat Guy : What's up with you?

  Courtney : Nothing. What's up with you?

• [holds up arm shaking the fat on it] 

  Courtney : Look at this, no what is that, no, what is that, no seriously what is that? It's like Hello, Hi, Hi, How are you?

• Christina , Jane , Courtney : [All Singing]  What a lovely ride!

  Jane : Your penis is a thrill!

  Christina : Your penis is a Cadillac

  Jane : A giant Coupe DeVille!

  Christina , Jane , Courtney : [All singing]  Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load!

  Christina : And when it makes delivery...

  Christina , Jane , Courtney : [All singing]  It needs its own zipcode

  Christina : Nine-Double Zero, Penis!

• [Christina, Courtney and Jane are singing "The Penis Song"] 

  Courtney : My body is a movie.

  Dancer : And your penis is the star.

  Christina , Courtney : Starring your penis

  [Both Christina and Courtney gives the Older Women a kiss on the check] 

• Courtney : [as Jane arrives]  Hi, honey.

  Christina : Hi. How did it go?

  Jane : Fine. No problem.

  Christina : Good.

  Courtney : So, did we have fun last night?

  Jane : Yes, I did. It was great. You guys were absolutely right. A transition guy was just what I needed.

  Christina : Good. How was he? Was he good?

  Jane : He was very... sweet and complimentary. And very into pleasing me first.

  Courtney : So how was, uh, how was girth?

  Jane : Average-ish.

  Christina : Average-ish. That's good. So, what did you tell him?

  Jane : What do you mean?

  Courtney : What do we always tell them no matter what?

  Jane : Oh.

  [goes through fake repertoire] 

  Jane : Oh! My God! Your penis is so... *big!*

  Courtney : *Good girl.*

  [chuckles] 

  Christina : [holding glass like it's the real thing]  Your penis is so *thick!*

  Courtney : [does her thing holding a flower vase as well]  Oh! Your penis is so pretty!

  Christina , Courtney , Jane : [Jane picks up glass as well]  Oh! You got a handsome dick!

  [Jane even licks her glass] 

  Christina : Your penis is so... *hard!*

  [pretends to have orgasm] 

  Courtney : Your penis is just so... *large!*

  Christina : My body is a movie...

  Christina , Courtney , Jane : ...and your penis is the *star!*