Evolution (2001)

Julianne Moore: Allison

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Harry has just had an alien removed rectally] 

  Dr. Allison Reed : It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?

  Harry Block : Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please.

  Dr. Allison Reed : Okay, what flavor?

  Harry Block : It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.

• [an alien bug is crawling inside Block's leg] 

  Dr. Allison Reed : What are you gonna do?

  Dr. Paulson : We might have to amputate.

  Harry Block : Whoa, Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.

  Ira Kane : Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.

  Nurse Tate : Doctor, look!

  Dr. Paulson : It's headed for his testicles.

  Harry Block : Take it! Take it! Take the leg!

• Dr. Allison Reed : There's something I feel I should tell you, but I don't know exactly how.

  Ira Kane : Well, just say it. We're adults and we're all about to die a very horrible death soon anyway, so?

  Dr. Allison Reed : I would've rocked your world.

  Ira Kane : You already have.

• Ira Kane : You wouldn't understand.

  Dr. Allison Reed : No, how could I? I'm just a humorless ice maiden in desperate need of a good humping.

  Ira Kane : Oh... you heard that, huh?

  Dr. Allison Reed : Loud and clear.

• Dr. Allison Reed : Your Honor, if the Court would allow me to depose Dr. Kane?

  Ira Kane : Depose *me*?

  Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : Oh, we think your past is very relevant, Doctor Kane. These issues speak directly to his competence as a scientist.

  Dr. Allison Reed : Dr. Kane, you were a top-level researcher at USAMRIID from '94 to '97, were you not?

  Ira Kane : Yes, that's correct.

  Dr. Allison Reed : And you were summarily dismissed in the summer of 1997. Any idea why?

  Ira Kane : My services were no longer required?

  Dr. Allison Reed : Uh-huh. So, in your opinion, your firing had nothing to do with an experimental anthrax vaccine that you developed and administered to nearly 140,000 U.S. soldiers in May of that year?

  Ira Kane : [leans in and whispers, smiling]  I see where you're going with this.

  [louder] 

  Ira Kane : It may have been a factor, you'd have to ask the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

  Dr. Allison Reed : I'll make a note to do that. But for now, can you tell me what happened to the soldiers who were inoculated with your vaccine?

  Ira Kane : Well, uh, none of them got anthrax, if that's what you're asking.

  Dr. Allison Reed : What did they get?

  Ira Kane : Um, well, as with any new vaccine, there were certain side effects associated with it.

  Dr. Allison Reed : Could you be more specific?

  Ira Kane : Well, it was a wide range of things, it's very technical, I'd hate to waste the court's time getting into it right now.

  Dr. Allison Reed : Humor me.

  Ira Kane : Some debilitating stomach cramps... severe diarrhea... memory loss.

  Dr. Allison Reed : Yes? Go on. Any more symptoms?

  [Harry is looking mortified and shocked at the defense table] 

  Ira Kane : Partial facial paralysis, temporary blindness, drooling, bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction, uncontrollable flatulence. I think that's it.

  Dr. Allison Reed : One more question. Do you happen to remember what the soldiers called this illness, Doctor Kane?

  Ira Kane : Yeah. They called it "The Kane Madness."

• Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : We evacuate, make it safe, and then we burn the alien menace right the hell out of there.

  Dr. Allison Reed : With what?

  Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm.

  Ira Kane : Napalm? Why don't you just nuke 'em while you're at it?

  Col. Flemming : [with an eager grin]  What about nukes?

  [Woodman starts thinking about it] 

  Governor Lewis : Pull your horns in there, boys! Nobody's dropping an H-bomb on my state!

• [the alien creature turns around to reveal what looks like spherical buttocks] 

  Harry Block : [grinning]  Ira, look at that backside! Theater in the round. That's the kind of trunk space you want in a late-model car. Who does that remind you of?

  Ira Kane : I've no idea what you're talking about.

  Harry Block : She's been throwing it at you enough.

  Ira Kane : [incredulously]  Dr. Reed?

  Harry Block : Bull's-eye.

  [Cut to the Ops Room] 

  Lt. Cryer : Excuse me, Dr. Reed, did you authorize a walk-through?

  Dr. Allison Reed : No. Why?

  Lt. Cryer : Um, you should probably take a look at something. Here.

  [On the computer screen, they see and hear Block teasing:] 

  Harry Block : That's the kind of rump you want to roast! The kind of muffin you'd like to butter!

  Ira Kane : That is, that is a nice image. And I appreciate your assumption that there is an actual sexual human being underneath all Dr. Reed's deep-seated neuroses, but I don't think so.

  Harry Block : What?

  Ira Kane : Yeah. I think she is a humorless ice queen.

• [the Governor and science teams watch while an alien primate smashes the command site's video monitor cameras] 

  Carla : They just took out 6 and 7.

  Lt. Cryer : All the monitors are down!

  Governor Lewis : Well, that can't be good!

  [a rumbling is heard] 

  Ira Kane : That's the elevator.

  Col. Flemming : We have no personnel down there.

  Dr. Allison Reed : They've breached the airlock.

  Governor Lewis : [incredulously]  What, the fuzzy no-nosed chimp?

• [Kane and Block have sneaked into the Army Compound] 

  Harry Block : Ooh. Your girlfriend, eleven-o'clock.

  [Allison drops her files, as Kane turns to look] 

  Dr. Allison Reed : Oh, darn it.

  Ira Kane : That woman is a menace.

• Dr. Allison Reed : At this rate, they will take over Glen Canyon in three days. In a week, the rest of Arizona. Within two months, the United States will officially belong to them. And we are extinct.

  Governor Lewis : Oh, you gotta be shittin' me!

• [after having Ira and Harry thrown out of the base] 

  Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : Don't you have work to do?

  Dr. Allison Reed : You are such an asshole!

  [She storms off] 

  Col. Flemming : You know, when a woman expresses anger, it's often because she...

  Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman : Shut up.