Ryan : I'd kill myself right now, but I'd probably end up in Hell, and that would be redundant.
Barry : Well, at least you'd be among friends.
Ryan : [writing as Cindy] The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one.
[When answering a letter from a woman about facial hair]
Ryan : Dear 'Adolf', if a guy wants to munch hair, he'll know where to find it.
Ryan : Is she available?
Iris : Business or Pleasure?
Ryan : Business.
Iris : Serious- or Monkey-?
Ryan : None of your-.
Barry : That Cindy's got balls.
Ryan : She does now.
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