The American Astronaut (2001)

Rocco Sisto: Professor Hess

Quotes 

• Professor Hess : [Last lines]  This is where it ends... And other stories began. Sam moved back to Earth with the young man who saw the breast, and raised him as if he were his own son. I stayed on Venus to help raise Bodysuit in the hopes that he would grow up to be a fine young man, and I could kill him... but a boy seldom lives up to a father's expectations.

• [Samuel answers the phone] 

  Professor Hess : Guess who this is?

  Samuel Curtis : Professor Hess.

  Professor Hess : That's right! You got it on the first try! For that, you get a kiss!

  Samuel Curtis : I'll pass.

  Professor Hess : W-what? You think I'd kiss you? You'd love it if I'd kiss you. And I would never kiss you.

  Samuel Curtis : You said you were going to kiss me.

  Professor Hess : I never said I'd kiss you. I never said that. You just want me to kiss you!

  Samuel Curtis : Um... not really.

  Professor Hess : Oh. I'm not good enough to kiss you. Is that what you're saying?

• Professor Hess : I have a picture of you. Guess what you're doing?

  Samuel Curtis : I'm taking a shit.

  Professor Hess : [laughing]  I put it next to my trophy, and then I say, "Ooh, there's a stinky boy!"

• Professor Hess : Samuel Curtis... It's my birthday!

  Samuel Curtis : [pauses, not looking back]  Some other time, Professor.