Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001)
Steve Zahn: Archie
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Dolittle : You'll be the most famous bear in the world!
Archie : Bigger than Pooh?
Dr. Dolittle : If you get this right, everybody will be saying Winnie the Who!
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Dr. Dolittle : [Archie burps] Hey! Don't you dare throw up on me!
Archie : [Groaning] Ooh! That's not where it's gonna come out. Ooh!
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Dr. Dolittle : [Trapped in the restroom while Archie is using the toilet] Oh, Archie!
Archie : [Breaks Wind] Oh, it ain't that bad. Come on. Whoo!
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Archie : I am the Alpha Bear! Grrr! Grrr! Bears say "grrr," right?
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Archie : It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, and I once rode a unicycle wearing a tutu! A tutu!
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Archie : [while running to get in shape] Oh yeah! Feel the burn! Feel the burn! Feel the butt cramp! Wait! Rub my butt. Rub my butt. Get back here, rub my butt. Please rub my butt.
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Archie : Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Dr. Dolittle : Uh-oh, what? What's the problem?
Archie : Ice cream is acting up.
Dr. Dolittle : What ice cream?
Archie : I got depressed after Sonny and Ava, and I went on a bender. And by the second gallon, I realized I'm in love with Ava and this ice cream called "Cherry Garcia."
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Dr. Dolittle : You're an endangered species!
Archie : Is that a threat, buddy?
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[doing a somersault down a hill in the forest to show off, Archie rolls right onto a pinecone]
Archie : Hey look at me, I've filled for you! Ah! Pinecone!
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Archie : [Archie gets hit with a tranq dart] What the - nap!
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Dr. Dolittle : Alright, Archie, I'm not playing anymore. I want you to come out of there right now, you big coward!
Archie : Uh, excuse me, but who are you calling a coward?
[comes out of the cave]
Dr. Dolittle : You! I'm calling you a coward! You're a big coward for quitting like this!
Archie : Well, it's hard.
Dr. Dolittle : You wanna know what hard is, Archie? My wife is mad at me, my daughter's mad at me, and I'm spending my vacation with a pizza boy who greets me by saying "Hey, Dr. D, what's up?" Now I'm listening to a big furry baby saying that he wants to quit 'cause it's too hard!
Archie : Well, Ava laughed at me.
Dr. Dolittle : Oh, boo hoo! Ava laughed at me! I love her and I need her and she laughed at me! You know what? You don't even deserve Ava! Why would she want to spend her life with a coward like you?
[pokes Archie on the nose]
Archie : Hey, don't poke the bear, buddy.
Dr. Dolittle : Oh, I didn't poke a bear, 'cause if I poked a bear, a bear would be mauling me, so I don't know what I poked, but it sure as hell ain't no bear!
[pokes Archie again]
Archie : Hey, I'm warning you.
Dr. Dolittle : Yeah, and I'm poking you!
[continues poking]
Archie : Stop it.
Dr. Dolittle : Alright, poke, poke, poke!
Archie : Alright, that's it.
[pushes Dolittle over the edge]
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Archie : What is it, Doc? We're trying to save the species over here!
