Miss Congeniality (2000)

Benjamin Bratt: Eric Matthews

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Eric Matthews : Hart, listen to me. I've waited five years to run my own op. You think I'd blow it on the wrong girl?

  Gracie Hart : No no no, I know the only reason you picked me was because I was the only one who looked half decent in a bikini and wasn't on maternity leave.

  Eric Matthews : No, that's why they *let* me pick you. You wanna know why I picked you?

  Gracie Hart : Lost a bet?

  Eric Matthews : Because you're smart. Because you don't take any crap from people. You're funny. You're easy to talk to when you're not armed. Look, give yourself a break. Cut Vic and the other pagent ladies some slack cause if they ever get a chance to see what I see then... they're gonna love you.

• Eric Matthews : This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you.

  Gracie Hart : Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO.

• Eric Matthews : Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?

  Gracie Hart : You want me to beat it out of her?

• Eric Matthews : You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this.

  Gracie Hart : I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts.

  Eric Matthews : Funny, me too.

• Victor Melling : This woman has no talent!

  Eric Matthews : Geez Vic! You don't gotta shout it out in front of her!

• Eric Matthews : Operation "Thong" has commenced.

  Gracie Hart : Why don't you stun-gun yourself?

  Eric Matthews : I knew she'd like that one.

• [arguing about Gracie's contract on providing a talent] 

  Eric Matthews : Listen to me, you old fruitcake!

  Victor Melling : How dare you, you cupcake!

• Eric Matthews : Don't look at me like I betrayed you.

  Gracie Hart : No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there!

• [Gracie pulls earpiece out of her ear] 

  Eric Matthews : Wo wo wo. Wait a minute, what are you doing? Put that back in your ear.

  Gracie Hart : I can't talk girl talk with a guy in my head! I can't even do it with me in my head!

• [after McDonald sees himself in a bikini on the computer] 

  Eric Matthews : We were just looking for someone to go undercover at the pageant.

  McDonald : And I'm the best we have. That doesn't inspire much confidence.

• Eric Matthews : All right, here's your new IDs. For pageant identity.

  Gracie Hart : [looking at hers]  Gracie Lou Freebush?

  Eric Matthews : Yeah, remember, you like that name.

  Gracie Hart : Yeah, well, my IQ just dropped ten points.

• Eric Matthews : Maybe we could have dinner, you know?

  Gracie Hart : What? You, like, asking me on a date?

  Eric Matthews : No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it!

• Victor Melling : He's with me.

  Eric Matthews : I'm not "with him" with him, you know? It's not like...

  Victor Melling : Come on, muffin!

• Gracie Hart : Where am I gonna keep my gun?

  Eric Matthews : Nowhere I wanna know about!

• [after Eric pulls Gracie into the pool] 

  Gracie Hart : Oh, Vic's gonna kill you. You in big trouble.

  Eric Matthews : You look good wet.

  Gracie Hart : Shut up!

• Eric Matthews : You took your earpiece out! Vic needs you, now!

  Gracie Hart : Eric, I haven't slept in two days!

  Eric Matthews : I'll give you a cookie.

  Gracie Hart : [mumbling to herself]  It better be a big one.

• Gracie Hart : You know what...

  [grabs Eric in a headlock] 

  Gracie Hart : Pull this off! What, is it because Macdonald hates me?

  Eric Matthews : He doesn't hate you!

  Gracie Hart : Is it some woman thing?

  [Eric knocks her to the floor] 

  Eric Matthews : Don't kid yourself! Nobody thinks of you that way!

  [Gracie trips him and sits on his back, holding him down] 

  Gracie Hart : He's punishing me, isn't he?

  Eric Matthews : [under Gracie]  Look, I had to beg him to let you do this!

  Gracie Hart : What?

  Eric Matthews : Yeah, like it or not you screwed up, pal!

  [they roll over attacking each other] 

  Gracie Hart : [Sitting on Eric again]  This may come as a shock to you but I've never been in a beauty pageant before! I don't even own a dress! I don't even own a brush!

  [They roll around again] 

  Eric Matthews : [with Gracie's thighs squeezing his head]  Which part o' that is supposed to shock me?

  [Gracie slams her thighs against his head and they roll over on the floor again] 

  Gracie Hart : [Eric's feet squeezing her face]  Jesus! Let's just swing reality for like a second! I have to do everything like the big hair, and the makeup...

  Eric Matthews : Damn right! The spinning, the twirling, the smiling...

  Gracie Hart : [out of breath]  So you're saying... I have to wear... the bathing suit?

• Eric Matthews : What do you say, Hart?

  Gracie Hart : No freakin' way.

  Eric Matthews : Sparky, why not?

  Gracie Hart : Cause I'm not gonna parade around in a swimsuit like some airhead bimbo that goes by the name, what, Gracie Lou Freebush and all she wants is world peace?

  Eric Matthews : It won't be like that. Come on, you're an important member of the undercover team.

  Gracie Hart : Yeah, right, in a thong.

• Eric Matthews : We recently discovered some information about the winner from New Jersey.

  Gracie Hart : And her performance in a little film called "Arma-get-it-on."

  Stan Fields : Was that her?

• Eric Matthews : Why don't just you shut up?

  Gracie Hart : Why? You're shutting up enough for both of us.

• Eric Matthews : Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.

• Agent Clonsky : McDonald called. He saw Hart's little anti-smoking commercial, he's on his way down.

  Eric Matthews : Oh, good, perfect, because I'd hate for him to fire me over the phone!