Jazzin' for Blue Jean (1984 Video)

David Bowie: Self, Screamin' Lord Byron, Vic

Quotes 

• Vic : I'm speechless. I'm speechless you conniving, randy, bogus Oriental old queen. Your record sleeves are better than your songs!

• [About the hairdryer a stylist is using on him] 

  Screaming Lord Byron : I've got a teensy weensy little headache, and I wonder if you might switch that thing OFF... until I finish passing out, thank you.

• Vic : [voice over, narrating]  She spoke to me and that was it, I fell.

  [falls down the ladder] 

• Vic : I know the man. Actually we're distantly related. My... um... my mothers sister - she married his old man in Cheltenham. That makes me his half-cousin, twice removed... or... close enough.

• [Pointing at random name on the guest list.] 

  Vic : That's me.

  Foyeur Lady : Oh yeah? Er... you're a bit thinner this time int ya? Demmis Rousos! On your bike, son!

• Vic : Hello.

  Girl : I'm not alone.

  Vic : Is he big?

  Girl : Very.

  Vic : That's okay - he'll like me. Lots of people like me. Well not straight away but give it a couple o' minutes and...

• Foyeur Lady : What is your name?

  Vic : Yogi. Er...

  [tries to read the guestlist] 

  Vic : Olliandum.

  Foyeur Lady : Olliandum?

  Vic : Whoosh. Whoosh Olliandum.

• Vic : He'll find out sooner or later about his mother. Only I did promise I'd tell him personally - you know what mothers... are... like. How's your mother? She well? I hope so.

• Vic : Mr Screaming. Er... good evening. I'm from the Melody Faces - no - one of the music magazines. I was with a music magazine now I'm with a more high profile kind of... aw I've really hurt me head.

• Vic : [narrating, getting dressed]  Frankie Relax is definitely out. I'm not advertising Frankie until they tell us who he is.

• Vic : Nice shoes.

• Vic : You look great, you're fantastic, you're beautiful.