Matthew Stewart:
[
imitating a Dalek from Doctor Who] The mutant buds are nearly ready, Great One. Soon we will release them into the atmosphere and take over the entire planet!
Grace Trevethyn:
The people I represent wish to remain anonymous.
Jacques Chevalier:
The people I represent wish to remain anonymous as well. Maybe they are the same people, no?
Jacques Chevalier:
All the people I deal with are scum. I'm a little scummy myself. You are not scum. That worries me
Grace Trevethyn:
I take exception to that. I come from a long line of scum. My dear husband was one of the scummiest men to walk the face of this earth.
Jacques Chevalier:
My apologies
Matthew Stewart:
No more Mr. cuddly toy. I'm not hanging around here to be a whipping boy for ganja Grace and captain Nicky the fuckin' lobster queen.
Nicky:
I like it here, it's so peaceful and quiet.
Vicar Gerald Percy:
If you think this is quiet, you should see Evensong.
Matthew Stewart:
I avoid confrontation. If you grew up in Glasgow in the 1970's you'd avoid confrontation too. All I want is a easy life. I want to grow some vegetables, smoke some weed, sing carols at Christmas time and who knows? One day I'd like to be a dad and raise a couple of fucking children. But that's it! I've had it! I've fucking had enough. I'm going! No more Mr. Cuddly Toy!
Matthew Stewart:
Last time you were in London was five years ago for the Chelsea Flower Show. You can't sell this stuff at a florist!
Grace Trevethyn:
What's your Master Plan Then?
Matthew Stewart:
I was going to go to Portabello Road...
[
Grace disagrees]
Matthew Stewart:
With the greatest respect... I'm the young hip one. You're the hip replacement.
Grace Trevethyn:
That's my Doctor. This one's my Gardner.
Jacques Chevalier:
Oh nice. Are you expecting anybody else... your cleaning lady perhaps?
Margaret Sutton:
[
high on weed] May I help you?
Diana Singer:
[
also high on weed] Would you like some Cornflakes? They're heavenly.
Quentin Rhodes:
No thank you I've already eaten.
Margaret Sutton:
Would you like a chocolate ice cycle?
Quentin Rhodes:
I'm looking for Lilac House. I'm trying to contact Grace Trevethyn.
Diana Singer:
I love Grace. I really, really love her. She has wonderful hair... soft and silky like a lovely Angora rabbit.
Quentin Rhodes:
Right. Where do I find her?
Diana Singer:
In a lovely, lovely house. I love her.
Quentin Rhodes:
And how do I find the lovely, lovely house?
Diana Singer:
Up the lovely lovely hill.
Jacques Chevalier:
Do I look like I would cut someone's finger off?
Grace Trevethyn:
Oh, yes.
Jacques Chevalier:
Thank you.
Vicar Gerald Percy:
I like Matthew. He's a good soul... for a Scotsman.
Nicky:
You're getting older.
Matthew Stewart:
These are laugh lines.
Nicky:
Nothing's that funny.
Charlie:
I'm glad to see she's keeping up the village tradition of total contempt for the law.
Grace Trevethyn:
[
high on weed, she starts laughing hysterically]
Matthew Stewart:
What? What is it? What's so funny?
Grace Trevethyn:
[
laughing] You're Scottish!
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