The Replacements (2000)

John Madden: John Madden

Quotes 

• Pat Summerall : That's the second time tonight a Washington player's been knocked out by his own teammate!

  John Madden : You know, there's a rule in sports, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations."

  Pat Summerall : There is?

  John Madden : Yep.

• John Madden : I love to see a fat guy score.

  Pat Summerall : Why?

  John Madden : Because first you get a fat guy spike, then you get the fat guy dance.

• John Madden : According to the Sentinels, it says Ray Smith is - hey, that's weird. No college given, no high school. It just says he's been a resident of the state of Maryland for the last two years and two months, and that he likes to embroider.

• Pat Summerall : Players are not supposed to to be fraternizing with the cheerleaders.

  John Madden : Yeah, but what are they gonna do, fire him?

• John Madden : I think that guy's smoking on the field.

  Pat Summerall : Smoking? I'm sure you're just imagining that, John.

  John Madden : No, no, I saw it. I saw the smoke and everything.

• Pat Summerall : [Watching the Sentinels in a huddle, dancing from one side of the field to the other]  Hey John, how long have we been calling football games?

  John Madden : I dunno 19 years?

  Pat Summerall : Have you ever seen anything like that?

  [Watching the dance] 

  John Madden : Not on a football field.