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Things 3: Old Things (1998) (V)
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Well...I was ready for bed after watching this. moreCast
(Cast overview, first billed only) | Greg Cannone | ... | Winston Kale |
 | Oriana Nicole Tavoularis | ... | Alice Cave-Kate (as Oriana Tavoularis) |
| Vinnie Bilancio | ... | Delivery Guy (as Vincent J. Bilancio) |
| Tim Sullivan | ... | Phil Canyon |
| Michael Labarbera | ... | Eric |
| Michelle Galles | ... | Virginia Combs |
| Veronica Carothers | ... | Crystal / Fantasy Girl |
| Joe Haggerty | ... | Wendel Combs |
| Jan Tiehen | ... | Doris Combs |
| Lisa Jerevich | ... | Alien |
| Denice Stradling | ... | Brenda DeVane |
 | Randal Malone | ... | Harry Green (as Film Star Randal Malone) |
| Larry Richards | ... | John O |
| Ron Ford | ... | Frankie |
| Craig Johnson | ... | Shaman |
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This is one of those films which contain three different stories. One is the framing story which revolves around a submissive husband and his domineering wife. They own an antique shop and recently obtained some items from an estate. Several of the items end up causing difficulties to those who come in contact with them. The other two stories show the problems caused by an item from the shop. The first is about a dominatrix, shown on an old postcard, who actually comes to life. The second story is about a ring from an ancient civilization which causes the wearer to turn into a wolf-like creature.
I hate to say it but I haven't been impressed with anything I have ever seen from Ron Ford. He has a real knack for destroying any potential a film might otherwise have. He also ends up with some of the most atrocious "actors" known to mankind. Amateurish gore effects and totally gratuitous breast shots distract from trying to take this even remotely seriously. Unfortunately, it's not humorous enough to take as a joke. It's just a bore. 1/10