The Specials (2000)

Jordan Ladd: Nightbird

Photos 

Quotes 

• U.S. Bill : This is the basement. Want to see the furnace?

  Nightbird : That's okay.

  U.S. Bill : It's hot. Don't press your face against it for too long or you get red streaks on you for, like, a month.

• Amok : We may not be the prettiest, or the smartest, or the most powerful. But we don't exist for the beautiful people of the world, Ted! We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!

  Nightbird : That's what Weevil said.

  Amok : Baby, please, he stole it from me.

  The Strobe : You stole it from a speech I gave at the University of Delaware.

• [first lines] 

  Nightbird : I've been a humongous fan of the Specials since I was knee-high to... something for sure. All my friends would make fun of me because the Specials were not a "cool" group like the Amazing Trio or the Crusaders. But, you know, screw that. I also liked Winger better than Bon Jovi. I still do. I don't care what the critics say.

• Amok : Yeah, before I got like this, I used to do airbrush paintings on the side of vans.

  Nightbird : [as she talks, he ogles her breasts]  Oh, oh, yeah, I-I saw one the other day. It had this picture of this bowl of fruit on it and it said "Van Go," you know, like Van G-O?

  Amok : Mm, that's clever. Love your outfit.

• Ms. Indestructible : I'd like to introduce you to Eight. Eight separate bodies with a single mind. Eight is actually one person who can be in eight different places at the same time.

  Nightbird : Well, I haven't seen them.

  Ms. Indestructible : It's "him," actually. And that's because he refuses to do publicity.

  Eight : [one of his other bodies takes a bite of a donut]  This donut is delicious.

  Nightbird : Cool. I wish I had another me.

• Nightbird : You are one of my great heroes.

  Deadly Girl : Bitchin', my own stalker.

• Minute Man : I'm Tim. Welcome aboard.

  Nightbird : I'm on board. I am a huge fan, Minute Man.

  Minute Man : I-It's, uh... "Mine-oot" Man.

  Nightbird : Oh, God, I'm so dumb.

  Minute Man : It's because I'm able to turn small.

  Nightbird : I'm sorry.

  Minute Man : It happens all the time.

• Ms. Indestructible : Shelly?

  Nightbird : I'm turning my suit in.

  Ms. Indestructible : It's not a badge.

  Nightbird : I have to go.

  Ms. Indestructible : Maybe we can convince Ted to forget this.

  Nightbird : No, I don't want to. I came here to fight evil, and... and all any of you people ever think about is having sex and your egomanias and selling your toys.

• Mr. Smart : Am I supposed to come in?

  Ms. Indestructible : Yes, you're supposed to come in.

  The Strobe : He's not supposed to come in.

  Ms. Indestructible : Get your ass out of bed and get over here.

  Mr. Smart : Excuse me, but...

  The Strobe : [Emily hangs up]  Hmm.

  Minute Man : [coming in with Deadly Girl]  Good morning.

  Ms. Indestructible : [seeing they're dressed in their previous day's clothes]  Did you two sleep together last night?

  Deadly Girl : Is oral sex sleeping together?

  Ms. Indestructible : Yes.

  Deadly Girl : I see.

  [dropping a box on the table] 

  Deadly Girl : Donuts for everyone!

  Nightbird : [coming in]  Hi.

  Deadly Girl : Shelly.

  Nightbird : I'm back.

  Mr. Smart : [coming in]  All right! I'm here, I'm here. I'm sorry I'm late.

  The Strobe : Late for nothing. She should have never asked you to come in.

  Minute Man : Why aren't you wearing any pants?

  Mr. Smart : [looking down]  Oh, God. This is what happens when you scream at me on the phone. I'm sensitive. My overdeveloped mind is attuned to things you could never imagine.

  Deadly Girl : Has anyone noticed Mr. Smart has an enormous package?

  Mr. Smart : My father, too, had a large penis.