(1990 Video)

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Uneventful
lor_27 October 2022
Fred Lincoln and wife Patti earned their keep and not much else with this desultory porn feature, starring Ashlyn Gere early in her career. It should have been a mystery or thriller but instead just lays there.

The one-line summary in IMDb is misleading, reading like a "cleaned up" version of the story. Gere plays a "dancer" at a club, but her job is to f*ck the customers in a lower level that serves like a VIP room. Movie begins with a threesome sex scene in progress, as she and Bridgette Monroe service customer Tom Byron at Cheryl's place, after which Gere bawls out her friend for having johns visit her at home -it might be dangerous.

That's about it for suspense, as Cheryl turns up dead, strangled by black stocking that was a gift from Gere. Ashlyn is so shook up (she found the corpse) that she ends up crying in an alley, befriended by wino/bum who lives in the alley, played by Joey Silvera.

Cornball story unfolds with Joey feeling sorry for her and getting himself cleaned up. He goes to the club, pays for sex with Madison, another hooker/dancer who works there, and gets info on a likely suspect - a violent customer with a tattoo that matches Ashlyn's description -conveniently she saw the killer leaving the apartment and spotted his arm tattoo (but didn't see his face).

After another sex scene featuring blonde Talia James, Joey instantly finds the killer, beats him up and it's back to the alley where Gere is still hiding out, and he's rewarded with sex (as only Gere can provide it) and friendship. All that's missing is a pet dog, but Lincoln and Patti do provide a cute plush toy that has kept Joey the bum company and is now clutched by Gere.

The phrase "they don't make 'em like that anymore" comes to mind, but in this particular case, the response should be "Thank God!".
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