Mary Kay Bergman: Liane Cartman, Sheila Broflovski, Sharon Marsh, Wendy Testaburger, Clitoris, Additional Voices
Photos
Quotes
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[person speaking German on "cliteris" website]
Kyle : Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on!
Stan : Whoa! Is it Cartman's mom?
Cartman : Oh, very funny!
Kyle : Hey! It IS Cartman's mom!
Mrs. Cartman : [man speaking German on computer] All righty then!
Cartman : SON OF A BI...
[shocks]
Cartman : AHHH!
Ike : [bounces in] Ba ba ba ba.
Kyle : Get out of here, Ike. You're too young for this stuff!
Ike : Bullshit.
Stan : What's she doing now?
German : Essen meine scheisse.
Mrs. Cartman : Okey-dokey!
Kyle , Stan , Cartman : [they see something gross] AWWWWWW!
Stan : [pukes] Click it off, dude, click it off!
[Kyle clicks it off]
Stan : Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?
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Sheila Broflovski : What the heck is a rimjob?
Mrs. Cartman : Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass.
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Sheila Broflovski : Remember what the MPAA says; Horrific, Deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty woids! That's what this war is all about!
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Cartman : Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right?
[short pause]
Mrs. Cartman : Sure, hon.
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[demonstrating a "V-Chip" planted into Cartman]
Dr. Vosknocker : Now, I want you to say "doggy".
Cartman : Doggy.
Dr. Vosknocker : [to audience] Notice, that nothing happens.
[to Cartman]
Dr. Vosknocker : Now, say "Montana".
Cartman : Montana.
Dr. Vosknocker : Good. Now, "pillow".
Cartman : Pillow.
Dr. Vosknocker : All right. Now I want you to say "horse fucker".
Mrs. Cartman : Go on, honey. It's all right.
Cartman : Horse fu...
[gets shocked by the V-chip]
Cartman : That hurts, goddamnit!
[gets shocked again]
Dr. Vosknocker : Now I want you to say "big floppy donkey dick".
Cartman : No!
Dr. Vosknocker : [to audience] Success! The child doesn't want to swear!
Cartman : This isn't fair, you sons of bi...
[gets shocked repeatedly]
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Mr. Mackey : I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see Terrence & Phillip.
Cartman : Everybody's fucking seen it.
Mrs. Cartman : Eric!
Cartman : I'm sorry I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind.
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Chef : [singing] Everything worked out what a happy end. Americans and Canadians are friends again. So let's all join hands and knock oppression down.
Cartman , Kyle , Stan : Don't you know our little lives are now complete?
Mrs. Cartman , Sheila Broflovski : 'Cause Terrance and phillip are sweet.
Sheila Broflovski : Super sweet.
everyone : Thank God we live in this quiet, little pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse, mudhole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobnail, truck-driving, old-fashioned, hayseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, white trash...
Cartman , Kyle , Stan : Kick-ass!
everyone : Mountain... town!
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Satan : You have spilt the blood of the innocence, now begins 2,000,000 years of darkness!
Chef : [sarcastically] Oh, good job, Mrs. Broslofski! Thanks a lot!
Sheila Broslofski : [innocently] I was just trying to make the world a better place for children!
Saddam Hussein : Yeah, and brought enough intolerence in the world to allow my coming. Now everyone bow down to me!
[the Canadians and Americans do so]
Saddam Hussein : [laughs] Yeah!
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Sheila Broflovski : [In Chorus with Everyone] We've got to blame Canada, we've got to make a fuss! Before someone thinks of blaming us!
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Cartman : [after seeing Kenny's ghost] Mom I saw him, I saw Kenny!
Mrs. Cartman : Oh, you poor dear! You've been through so much.
Cartman : I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire, and now he's all pissed off
[gets shocked]
Cartman : damn I can't say "pissed off" either!
[gets shocked again]
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Mrs. Cartman : [singing "Blame Canada"] And my little boy eric, had my picture on his shelf / And now when he sees me he tells me to go fuck myself!
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[Shelia Brovlovski is speaking on national television about war against Canada]
Sheila Broflovski : ...if it's war they want, it's war they'll have!
Cartman : This is fucking weak...
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Sheila Broslofski : [singing] Blame Canada! Blame Canada! It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along. Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
Man in Chorus : [singing] They're not even a real country anyway.
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Wendy Testeberger : Fuck Gregory. Fuck him right in the ear!
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Eric Cartman : Mom, there's someone at the door.
[No reply]
Eric Cartman : Mom, I said there's someone at the door!
Mrs. Cartman : Coming, hun.
Eric Cartman : [as Liane walks past] Ay, I can't see the TV!
Mrs. Cartman : Oh, look Eric, It's your little friends!
Ike Broflovski : Fireman!
Eric Cartman : What are you guys doing here?
[Stan holds up the piece of paper with the movie ad on it]
Eric Cartman : Aw, sweet dudes! Yes, YEEES!
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Sheila Broflovski : Nooo!
[shoots Terrence and Phillip with a gun]
Kyle : Holy shit, dude!
Sheila Broflovski : Young man, you watch your mouth.
[blood oozes out of Phillip's body]
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Sharon Marsh : [All four mothers are watching the war from a distance] Oh my God! What have we done?
Sheila Broflovski : [Standing there holding an M16 rifle] But... this is what we wanted! We wanted to raise our children in a smut-free environment!
Sharon Marsh : We didn't ask for *this*!
Sheila Broflovski : [She and the other two mothers start to walk away] But... where are you going?
Sharon Marsh : We're going to find our boys! For God sake, Sheila, they're going to get killed out there!
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Sheila Broslofski : Gentlemen, do you have any last words?
Phillip : Last words? How's aboot: "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" How's that for last words?
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Sheila Broflovski : [singing] When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion!
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Sheila Broflovski : Kyle you are grounded for two weeks.
Sharon Marsh : You too Stan.
Mrs. Cartman : And you're grounded for three weeks Eric.
Cartman : Hey! Why am I grounded more that's fuckin' bullshit!
Mrs. Cartman : What, what, what? What was that word young man?
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Sharon Marsh : Well good morning, Stan.
Stan Marsh : Hi mom, can I have eight dollars to see a movie?
Sharon Marsh : A movie? But I thought you were going ice-skating.
Stan Marsh : But this is gonna be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada!
Sharon Marsh : Oh alright, then. But be back for supper!
Stan Marsh : Thanks, mom!
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Kyle : Ok. Let's try this one more time. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Ike Broflovski : Don't kick the baby.
Kyle : Kick the baby!
[Kicks Ike through a window, causing it to shatter]
Sheila Broflovski : Ike! You broke ANOTHER window! That's a bad baby! Baaaaaad baby!
Stan Marsh : Kyle, we're going to see the Terrance and Phillip movie!
Kyle : Oh my god, dude!
Sheila Broflovski : Kyle! Where are you going?
Kyle : Uuh, we're going ice-skating.
Sheila Broflovski : Well take your little brother with you.
[Ike bounces up to Kyle]
Kyle : Aww, come on, ma! He's not even my real brother. He's adopted!
Sheila Broflovski : DO AS I SAY, KYLE!
Kyle : Ok, ok, I'm sorry!
