The Emperor's New Clothes (1987)

Sid Caesar: The Emperor

Quotes 

• The Emperor : [the Emperor doesn't want to be overdressed]  I don't want to blind them, I just want them to blink a little.

• Prime Minister : The people are clamoring for you, Your Majesty.

  The Emperor : They're not clamoring very loud.

  Prime Minister : But they're our best clamorers...

  The Emperor : Tell them I want more clamoring. I want more clamor!

• The Emperor : The collar's always around the neck, the sleeves always come off the shoulders, the waist always goes around the middle! When will they invent something original?

• The Emperor : Why does everyone argue with me? I'm the Emperor!

• The Emperor : Would the pants have two legs?

  Henry Dispenser : How many would Your Majesty like?

  The Emperor : Five! Then when you're walking around, you can go jumping from leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg...

• The Emperor : How do you spin a thread out of a solid diamond?

  Henry Dispenser : Ah! That is a family secret!

• The Emperor : I think this will be very good for the kingdom. It will weed out all those people who try to bluff their way through life.

• Prime Minister : [Prince Nino is no match for Princess Gilda]  The marriage contract has already been agreed.

  The Emperor : They better have a lotta money. And I mean, a lotta money!

  Prime Minister : Unfortunately, they have.

  The Emperor : No, I mean a LOTTA money! And I wanna count it!

• The Emperor : [the tailors use strange measurements]  Duke, you realize I have bigger whoopets than the Maharajah?

  Duke : Oh, congratulations, Your Majesty.

  The Emperor : Thank you. I wonder what they are. I hope it's nice.

• The Emperor : Blue? Red? There's only one way to settle this. I'll have to see the cloth myself.

• The Emperor : [the invisible cloth]  Everybody'll think I'm stupid. I can't be, I'm the Emperor.

• The Emperor : It's diamond thread! Diamond makes a spectrum, and blue and red make...

  Duke : Uh... reddy-blue?

  Prime Minister : Uh... bluey-red?

  The Emperor : Blue and red make PURPLE!

• The Emperor : We'll have your wedding dress made out of the same material.

  Princess Gilda : No!

• The Emperor : You don't have to baloney me any more, Wenceslas.

• Prime Minister : Your Majesty, I take it this is one suit of clothes that will not be in the museum.

  The Emperor : Wrong! This suit of clothes will have a place of honor in the museum, to show that even an Emperor can be wrong.

• The Emperor : [the Prime Minister and the Duke admit their stupidity]  But I, as Emperor, was OVERPOWERINGLY stupid... I, as Emperor, was more stupid than you all, because I was responsible for all this stupidity!