Inspector Gadget (1999)

Rupert Everett: Sanford Scolex

Photos 

Quotes 

• Inspector Gadget : You blew me up and my Chevette. And I really liked that car.

  Dr. Claw : Well, you crushed my hand and I really liked that hand. So Go-Go get over it!

• Dr. Brenda Bradford : Two things, Scolex! One, you are completely insane!

  [Claw shrugs] 

  Dr. Brenda Bradford : And two, I liked you better fat!

  [Claw is shocked. His cat hides...] 

  Dr. Claw : BRING ON THE BROWNIES! WHEEL IN THE WAFFLES! I'M READY TO BINGE! Ha-ha-ha!

• Inspector Gadget : I don't know what you're up to, Scolex, but you'll never get away with it!

  Dr. Claw : Oh, how cliché, Inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Saturday morning cartoons.

  [Dr. Claw, Kramer and Inspector Gadget look at the camera] 

• [Scolex contemplates on a nickname] 

  Scolex : Too bad Hook is taken, eh?

  Sikes : How 'bout Captain Claw?

  Kramer : Or Santa Claw?

  Scolex : Just Claw, one word... like Madonna.

• Scolex : Why, it's that annoying little security guard from the institute. So he's the lucky duck they plucked for the Gadget Program. Heh! Irony bounds.

• Inspector Gadget : I don't get it. Why would you do this?

  Dr. Claw : I'll tell you why. To make techno-warriors that never get tired, never get hungry, and never say "no". Every army in the world would be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, Gadget, huh? Imagine the perks. COMPRENDÉ?

  Inspector Gadget : Yeah, I comprendé.

  Dr. Claw : No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I comprendo, yo comprendo. Conjugate the word, for pity's sake.

• Scolex : [on his claw]  This is sort of post-modern Captain Hook kind of feel it. Very "diabolical." I deserve a dashing appellation.

  Kramer : A dashing appellation. What is that? A hillbilly with a tuxedo?

• Dr. Claw : [after being defeated by Inspector Gadget]  Arrivederci, Gadget! This is NOT goodbye. I'll get you next time, Gadget! I'll get you!

• Officer John Brown : Attention: Driver of the wrecked limo attached to the "Yahoo!" billboard, this is security officer John Brown. Please step out of the vehicle immediately, or... else.

  Scolex : [stepping out, unable to give in without a fight]  Fine work, Mr. Security Guard, you got me. Here, have a victory cigar.

  [pulls out a cigar and lights it...] 

  Officer John Brown : No, thanks.

  Scolex : Remember: Smoking kills.

  [tosses cigar] 

  Officer John Brown : I don't smoke!

  Scolex : [laughs]  Oh, really? You will now.

  Officer John Brown : Oh, boy...

  [the cigar blows up John; also sending a bowling ball rocketing out of John's car. Scolex closes his sunroof, but the bowling ball falls through the sunroof before closing, and crushes his left hand] 

  Scolex : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY HAND!

• Dr. Claw : Goodbye, Mr Chip.

  [destroys Gadget's chip] 

• Dr. Claw : [on Gadget]  Dump this idiot in the junkyard.

  Sikes : Yes, boss.

  [grabs Kramer] 

  Dr. Claw : Oh, no, not that idiot, this one.

  Sikes : I wish you'd be specific, we got an awful lot of idiots around here.

• Scolex : Hello. Sanford Scolex. We were at Harvard together.

  Dr. Brenda Bradford : We were?

  Scolex : Oh, you don't recognize me. That's because I've changed. I was obese. Maybe you remember me like this.

  [fills his mouth with air to simulate his prior obesity]