Free Enterprise (1998)
William Shatner: Bill
Photos
Quotes
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Young Mark : So you're saying I should engage my advanced-for-a-twelve-year-old intellect and use logic?
Imaginary William Shatner : Logic is the other guy's schtick, but yes.
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[Shatner just asked Robert why he started the fight]
Young Robert : Well... it was something he said.
Imaginary William Shatner : What'd he say?
Young Robert : You really don't want to know.
Imaginary William Shatner : I really do want to know!
Young Robert : He said that Han Solo was cooler than Captain Kirk.
[pause]
Imaginary William Shatner : Kick the little fucker's ass.
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Imaginary William Shatner : I'm not really here. I'm one of the top ten imaginary friends kids have. Just behind John Travolta, Reggie Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett-Majors.
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[Young Robert was in a fight with a larger kid while wearing a gold Starfleet uniform, when William Shatner appears to him]
Imaginary William Shatner : I think I ought to tell you that that, uh, Aryan youth is gonna kick you into oblivion.
Young Robert : But what about in "Arena" when Kirk fought the Gorn? That giant lizard monster was three times as big as him!
Imaginary William Shatner : My boy, that was a TV show. I used a stunt double. I always use a stunt double. Except in love scenes. I insist on doing those myself.
Young Robert : Well, what would you do to avoid a fight?
Imaginary William Shatner : I wouldn't dress like a geek. Gold is not your color. Think earth tones.
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Bill : Guys, you gotta mix a little reality in with your imagination to achieve happiness in your life. And you've gotta overcome your programming - which in your case is a thirty-year-old television show.
