Keith Scott: Bullwinkle, Narrator, Cartoon Boris Badenov, Cartoon Fearless Leader
Photos
Quotes
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[in the White House]
Cappy : Bullwinkle, allow me to be frank.
Bullwinkle : Okay, Frank. Allow me to be Bullwinkle.
Cappy : [putting out hand] I'm Cappy Von Trapment, FBI.
Bullwinkle : I thought you said your name was Frank.
Cappy : SHUT UP, BULLWINKLE!
Bullwinkle : Okay, Frank.
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Narrator : At that moment, Karen and Rocky's only hope in the whole WORLD, was Bullwinkle J. Moose... In other words, they didn't have a prayer.
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Rocky : Hokey smoke, are you all right?
Bullwinkle : Yes, but I think we're on the wrong show.
[looking at Karen]
Bullwinkle : Look how well they drew that girl.
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Judge Cameo : The defendants are charged with grand theft auto: 1 count; breaking out of jail: 1 count; impugning the character of a prison guard: 1 count; reckless driving: 4 counts; talking to the audience; five counts; criminally bad punning: 18 counts.
Bullwinkle : And three dukes and seven earls. Ha ha ha ha.
Judge Cameo : Make that 19.
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Narrator : And so RBTV changed its name from Really Bad Television to Rocky and Bullwinkle Television.
Bullwinkle : What's the difference?
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Narrator : And then through the miracle of computer-generated digital technology, Minnie reached into the television set and signed the contract. But when she tried to pull the contract out, the expensive animated characters were instantly converted into even more expensive motion picture stars.
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Martin : Don't you guys know about faxes?
Lewis : Yeah, don't you know about E-mail?
Bullwinkle : Sure. A fax is a little red critter that hunts geese and chickens. Half of them are males, and the other half are "E-males".
Martin : No, it's a way of transmitting computer-generated information across great distances in the blink of an eye!
Bullwinkle : Well I was close.
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[Bullwinkle is flying over Washington D.C]
Bullwinkle : Boy, New York sure has changed a lot since my day. They even moved the White House here.
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Narrator : As dawn broke over the City of Angels...
[the sun appears as glass is heard shattering]
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[Rocky and Bullwinkle have been flattened by a truck]
Bullwinkle : This movie's getting kinda...
Rocky : Don't say it!
Bullwinkle : Two-dimensional.
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Narrator : And so, off with the CDI, and a truckload of really silly cartoon weaponry, Boris and Natasha set off to blast Rocky and Bullwinkle from the face of the Earth... and immediately got stuck in traffic.
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Rocky : Bullwinkle, you weigh 400 imaginary pounds.
Bullwinkle : Yeah, but it's all moose-le.
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Karen : Bullwinkle, can you rappel?
Bullwinkle : Sure. I've been repelling viewers for years.
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Minnie Mogul : Hey, how did that happen?
Fearless Leader : We're attached to the project.
Narrator : But even though the pun was weak, the contract was ironclad.
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Bullwinkle : What moose can't drive a automobile?
[Crashes into a wall]
Bullwinkle : Never said I could drive it well.
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[Bullwinkle has just lost radio signals he picked up from electricutions in his antlers]
Bullwinkle : Oh man! I was just getting jiggy with it!
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[Rocky and Bullwinkle have their faces censored on news cameras]
Bullwinkle : Hey, Rocky, your face is all blurry.
Rocky : Yours too.
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Bullwinkle : Rocky's right, Karen, and two rights don't make a wrong.
Rocky : Bullwinkle, that's not what you mean!
Bullwinkle : You mean two rights do make a wrong?
Rocky : No!
Bullwinkle : I always thought two rights made a U-turn.
Karen : I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Bullwinkle : Well, let's find out. Two U-turns make a circle, two circles make a figure-8, two figure-8's make a butterfly...
Karen : Look, all I want from you guys are results, okay?
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Bullwinkle : Heavens to Betsy! This car is sticking its tongue out at me!
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[first lines]
Narrator : [over stock footage of various historical events in a parody of a newsreel] 1964, a crucial moment in American history: Lyndon Johnson is re-elected to the presidency by a landslide, the New York World's Fair introduces a bright new future...
Narrator : [scene cuts to show an animated Bullwinkle pull Rocky from his hat] and after five scintillating years on the air...
Bullwinkle : Presto!
Narrator : The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show is abruptly cancelled.
Bullwinkle , Rocky : [in unison] Cancelled?
[the boys are pulled off screen to the right by a vaudeville hook as two janitors come by to clean up the mess]
Narrator : Sorry about that, boys.
[screen cuts to a card reading "TODAY", followed by shots of more recent live-action footage]
Narrator : A lot has changed in 35 years: Velcro has replaced the zipper, sneakers have lights on them, the Cold War is over, and The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show is still cancelled.
[newsreel ends as a hobo yawns and exits the theater]
Narrator : [cut to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota where things are looking lively with the locals]
Narrator : Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, once the beloved home of Rocky and Bullwinkle had been a thriving cartoon town.
[crossfade to a "third-world country version" of Frostbite Falls]
Narrator : Now, it was crippled by year's of reruns.
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Bullwinkle : Don't worry, little buddy. I'm sure the president will send for us after all the letter I wrote him. Why, I bet any second now or two... or three... or four... or five... or six.
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[Bullwinkle is going for a walk in the woods]
Rocky : But Bullwinkle, there aren't any more woods.
Bullwinkle : You don't have to tell me, I'm the Chairman for the Frostbite Falls Society of Wildlife Conversation.
Rocky : You mean "wildlife conSERVation."
Bullwinkle : What'd I say?
Rocky : You said "wildlife conVERSation."
Bullwinkle : Well, somebody's gonna have to start talking about these things.
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Rocky : But Karen, we can't ride to the rescue in a stolen truck.
Bullwinkle : Yeah. Why couldn't you steal something with bucket seats?
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Karen : It's Rocky... and Bull... Bull...
Bullwinkle : I believe the word you're looking for is "winkle".
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Bullwinkle : What kind of music is this?
Karen : Hip-hop.
Bullwinkle : [begins "hip-hopping"] Ok, but I'd still like to know what kind of music it is.
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Narrator : Meanwhile all was well with our heroes. Rocky was his old self again.
Bullwinkle : Ah i'll never forget our trip to New York to visit President Washington.
Narrator : And so was Bullwinkle. Yes glad to be home in their revitalized little town Rocky the Flying Squirrel took a well deserved joy ride through the sunny skies of Frostbite Falls.
Bullwinkle : Bye.
Rocky : Bye Bye.
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Narrator : Yes things were beginning to look mighty dark for our intrepid heroes.
Bullwinkle : It is getting kind of hard to see.
Rocky : Bullwinkle he means our situation!
Bullwinkle : Oh.
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Bullwinkle : FBI? Didn't they take our show off the air?
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Bullwinkle : Yes, without trees, where would the birdies live? Forced to migrates to the cities, they would take jobs away from local pigeons.
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Bullwinkle , Rocky : ...a barrel of money maybe we're ragged and funny.
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Bullwinkle : Just one minute Officer! Where ever she goes we go!
Rocky : That's right we're a team!
CameraMan : Well she's off to be breaking stones for the next four years
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Bullwinkle : My fans!
Rocky : Bullwinkle these aren't fans. This is an angry mob!
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Bullwinkle : Gee New York sure has changed allot since my day. They even moved the White House here.
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Narrator : Even their wordplay had gotten hackneyed and cheap.
Bullwinkle : No. It was always like this.
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Bullwinkle : Cobs and shuckins, Rock! The president must be beaming us to Washington!
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Bullwinkle : Of course! The president got my letters about the trees!
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Bullwinkle : I guess we could always appear at your trial as animated character witnesses.
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Bullwinkle : Come on, Rock, time's a-wastin'. We owe it to Karen to see the president about the trees.
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Bullwinkle : A ton? Well, that is a lot of laundry.
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Bullwinkle : Well, you can't blame me for drying.
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Bullwinkle : Kind of makes you feel discouraged.
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Bullwinkle : Gee, fellas, perhaps you've been looking too hard. Maybe america is all around you in thousand different beautiful manifestations. Wouldn't you say so young people?
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Bullwinkle : Heavens to Betsy! This car is sticking its tongue out of me!
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Bullwinkle : Hey, Rock, there's that same town again. Are sure we're going the right way?
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Bullwinkle : Ms. Sympathy, ins't it true that when our convertible was destroy in Monument Valley, the first thing you did was to steal somebody else truck?
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Bullwinkle : And didn't you escape from prison by telling that poor trusting prison guard that you would let him take you to the movies?
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Bullwinkle : And how come Rocky and me are still cartoons and Boris and Natasha aren't?
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Bullwinkle : Well, as long as I'm here, I might as well talk to the president about the trees.
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Bullwinkle : So, you see, Mr. President, all the trees in Frostbite Falls are gone. The birds have no place to put their things. The children have no place to build their tree house. I built them a stump house, but they say it's just not the same. Please help when you have time.
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Bullwinkle : They certainly enjoy their TV at the White House.
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Bullwinkle : Not a bad show, eh, Mr. President?
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Bullwinkle : At least one thing hasn't changed. TV's as good as ever.
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Bullwinkle : Really? Where that little white wig he always wears?
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Bullwinkle : Oh, butterballs! If only there were some way of transmitting computer-generated animated characters across great distances in the blink of an eye.
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Bullwinkle : Look, I'm hangin' four!
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Bullwinkle : Good evening, America. Bullwinkle Mouse here saying... forgot my line.
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Rocky : Bullwinkle, we can't go to Washington. We need to get to New York.
Bullwinkle : Now is no time to get the washing done!
Rocky : Not "washing done". Washington!
Bullwinkle : A ton? Well, that is a lot of laundry.
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Bullwinkle : All the exposition is wearing me out. I'm going for a walk in the woods.
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Bullwinkle : Can you believe we used to get paid for this routine?
