Tainted (1998) Poster

(1998)

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4/10
Kevin Smith Ripoff of Clerks
nammage10 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
(while this doesn't necessarily have any spoilers, I always mark "spoiler" because the one time I didn't I got a warning)

While I enjoyed all of Kevin Smith's films, I never really cared for his first one "Clerks". I've watched it twice and my opinion of the film is the same; however, if I compare it to this one: I think now, it's actually quite good. I say this because this film is either a homage or complete ripoff of that film, except Kevin Smith didn't have vampires; and this may actually be more vulgar (not in the general sense.) Also, both films have philosophical tones to them, and while Clerks actually used a sound judgment of philosophy this film just masquerades such philosophy to further whatever goal was the intention of the film.

The settings are almost the same. Clerks was in a convenient store and this is in a video store. Remember Blockbuster? That but not as clean. Okay, so this film takes place in a car, in the street etc., as well but it's just as if being in a store because they constantlyy talk. They even speak like almost every character (up to 1998) in a Kevin Smith film. Sort of like watching a Woody Allen film where everyone sounds like Woody Allen. Perhaps that's where Kevin Smith got it from: at least in his earlier work.

The acting isn't bad, it just all sounds the same (see above, as to why.) Here's the basic idea: two slackers find out their co-worker is a vampire and there's another vampire trying to poison a hospital (I think) and it's about stopping that dude (the bad vampire) from doing it. Mayhem ensues with philosphy wrapped up in it (which basically goes nowhere.) That's it. Not much action, or gore, or humor, or vampires, really.

The girls on the poster: poster-bait (like click-bait but for film posters), no where in the film. And yes: I watched this film because of the poster. Certainly wasn't for the story.
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1/10
We turned it off after 30 minutes
HAL9000-430 October 2000
I was looking for a good, cheap, vampire movie that was locally shot (in the Detroit area). Tainted (1998) seemed to be just the ticket to cap our Halloween celebration. While the movie opens with an exciting and well-orchestrated action sequence, the next half-hour of character development plays like the outtakes from Slackers. Don't get me wrong, I actually liked the humorous riffs from Slackers. However, this writer simply misfires every joke. Imagine a room full of 14-year old boys doing improvisational humor. Maybe the director was channeling the ghost of Ed Wood here, certainly the dialog could have been ghost written by Ed himself.
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If a few minutes were chopped out of it, this could be a triumph.
Koyaanis8330 September 2000
The movie has some excess footage, but you have a fast-forward button, do you not? Other than that, this is an independent triumph of a film, taking everything we know about the vampire legend and twisting it into a truly intelligent and well-written film about, well, as the tagline states it, "ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!" Successful in a local run, this film was picked up by the tremendously trashy Troma team, and this may throw off some die-hard film buffs, but if people really know about this hilarious indie gem, they'll die to see it.
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1/10
Truly awful!
doyle-828 August 2008
This movie was horrid. Don't get me wrong, I love a lot of bad movies, and even have a few that I watch again and again. But this one really had few redeeming qualities.

I got that we were supposed to see that the characters were pretentious, and thought a lot of themselves and their own opinions. Possibly we were even supposed to figure out that they were trying to sound impressive while having little substance to back it up. But I'm somehow doubt it.

The entire film ended up reading like the characters themselves. The director seemed to have an exceedingly high opinion of his own dialog, but lacked the skill or insight to carry it off. And like another commenter stated, imagine a group of 14 year old boys winging it, and you've closely nailed the dialog level.

The entire film consists of rapid-fire trite and bitchy dialog framing a fairly simple vampire story. While there are a few funny lines throughout the film, they didn't make up for the poor acting, horrid writing and plot holes the size of steamships. The 'vampire plot' had some interesting potential but didn't really explore any of the areas it touched on.
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1/10
Can movies get any worse?
Banky-828 May 1999
My dear lord! Can movies possible get any worse than this. I am from Michigan and I can take pride in local folks making good, but I mean how can this be taken with pride? You know what I think? I think that someone here wanted to take a chance to rip-off Sean-Michael's "Friday Night" script. But that's just me. The acting is horrendous. The writing worse. The direction is so bad I wanted to kill myself halfway through it, no scratch that... I wanted to die before the opening scene was even done. My question is this, who would release this thing? Oh yeah, Troma. That makes sense. Well, I hate myself for paying the dollar to rent this. I give it a 1 only because I can't give it a zero.
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1/10
THIS IS THE ONE....
releasethebats768 April 2002
yes, i love indie films. yes, i respect anyone who has the guts and drive to make a film. and yes, i love my hometown of metro detroit. but after seeing 'tainted,' i'm ashamed that this is one of few films representative of my fair hometown. not only are we tortured endlessly with weak and horribly acted dialog (not even bad enough to be funny) and inside jokes, we have to wait the duration of a baseball game to see some actual gore or even a small piece of what might be an actual story. this was obviously made for the filmmakers' friends and selected 'inside' folks who may or may not recognise the 'cool' places around town they 'filmed.' the folks at Troma must have been conned into distributing this nonsensical bore as not a single soul (not friends with the director) would get past the first 15 minutes without crying with embarrassment felt for everyone involved. the 'positive' reviews given for this are undoubtedly from those with vested interests in this idiocy that even 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000' would adamantly reject. no story, no production value, no interest whatsoever and very little gore equals one of the least interesting 'films' ever made. budget $35,000?? it all went toward pizza for the cast and crew for a job miserably done. some words to get used to- 'let's get another take' as for me and all the others about to rent this 'film' graciously given to all video stores who would accept for free publicity- don't let the name 'Troma' mislead you, and please take a stand against drastically careless filmmaking and just ignore the box when you see it in your local store. or, for the new filmmaker, rent it and use it as a 'what not to do' guide or a really good self-esteem boost that this nonsense ever got picked up by the beloved Troma. YOU ARE WARNED!
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1/10
Waste of time shot-on-video vampire feature
Leofwine_draca5 March 2017
Warning: Spoilers
TAINTED is a vampire comedy horror feature from 1998 which has the misfortune to be shot on video, which gives it a really lousy look. I find that the newer shot on video films utilising digital tape stock are of a far between quality than these older analogue features which have dated in the worst way.

TAINTED is a surprisingly restrained piece and I should note that the featured IMDb cover of two barely-dressed vampire women has nothing to do with the film itself. It's about some goth vampire loner who decides to infect blood supplies at a hospital and the various people who try to thwart him. There's barely any kind of blood here, the film has a subdued feel which makes it sleep-inducing to say the least.
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6/10
Better than I expected
TheNaughtyLibrarian3 October 2006
Seeing as how this was included as part of a Troma Triple B Header disc, I didn't expect a movie that was actually funny without being gross, had a well thought out storyline, and looked more to Linklater and Tarantino's talking bits than Fulci. Yes, it had it's moments of off acting (mainly from extras or bit characters) and is obviously an amateur effort, but it's an amateur effort made with love and care.

After an opening sequence with such shaky camera work that I got nauseous and contemplated turning it off, things actually got much better really quickly. One of those "it's the journey, not the destination" films with more emphasis on the conversations of the guys than what they were actually trying to accomplish. Strangely reminded me of hanging out with some of my friends.

I can see where with a bigger budget, better equipment, and more time, this could have really been something. As it is, I see lots of potential for development and I do not want my 105 minutes back, they were spent happily. The team who made the film just needs to not look to other's so much stylistically and go with their gut instincts and follow their own muse.
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9/10
Easily one of the best of '98
Borg7o911 January 1999
I know it is an indie film, I know it is a local film, but starting May 11th 1999 it won't be! The video release is finally happening, thanks are due to Troma for that. This film is wonderful, and definitely worth seeing. Shot on roughly a $35,000 budget, I was astounded when I first saw it. This film earns my highest commendations, and I order you to see it! Bug your local video stores, and when they won't say yes, bug them until they do. Personally, I'm buying my copy! I've had the opportunity to talk with the 'Am I Wrong?' Production team on several occasions, and to make things even better, they are wonderful people to be around. Rating: 9 out 10, losing one point only because of its necessary budget restrictions. The script, acting, and score are all great!
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