Election (1999) Poster

(1999)

Chris Klein: Paul Metzler

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Quotes 

  • Paul Metzler : [narrating]  My leg wasn't bugging me too much and the weather was so nice, and every day after school Lisa and I would go to her house to fuck and have a hot tub.

  • [all praying to God] 

    Tracy Flick : Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now I really must insist that you help me win the election tomorrow because I deserve it and Paul Metzler doesn't, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler and now I'm asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I belong so that I may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

    Tammy Metzler : Dear God, I know I don't believe in you, but since I'll be starting Catholic school soon, I thought I should at least practice. Let's see, what do I want? I want Lisa to realize what a bitch she is and feel really bad and apologize for how she hurt me and know how much I still love her. In spite of everything, I still want Paul to win the election tomorrow, not that cunt Tracy. Oh, and I also want a really expensive pair of leather pants and someday I wanna be really good friends with Madonna. Love, Tammy.

    Paul Metzler : Dear God, than you for all your blessings. You've given me so many things, like good health, nice parents, a nice truck, and what I'm told is a large penis, and I'm very grateful, but I sure am worried about Tammy. In my heart, I still can't believe she tore down my posters, but sometimes, she does get so weird and angry. Please help her be a happier person because she's so smart and sensitive and I love her so much. Also, I'm nervous about the election tomorrow and I guess I want to win and all, but I know that's totally up to you. You'll decide who the best person is and I'll accept it. And forgive me for my sins, whatever they may be. Amen.

  • Jim McAllister : Paul, what's your favorite fruit?

    Paul Metzler : Pears.

    Jim McAllister : [goes to the chalkboard]  Pears, good. OK, let's say...

    Paul Metzler : Oh, no wait! Apples.

    Jim McAllister : Apples. Fine.

    [he starts drawing circles on the chalkboard] 

    Jim McAllister : Let's say all you ever knew were apples. Apples, apples, and more apples. You might think apples were pretty good, even if you got a rotten one every once in a while. But then one day...

    [he draws another circle which looks the same as the others] 

    Jim McAllister : ...there's an orange. And now you can make a decision, do you want an apple or do you want an orange? That's democracy.

    Paul Metzler : I also like bananas.

  • Tammy Metzler : [narrating]  I don't why, but Lisa decided she wanted to hurt me, and she knew exactly what to do.

    [cut to Lisa's bedroom] 

    Paul Metzler : [narrating]  I sure was surprised the day Lisa Flanagan asked me for a ride home and ended up blowing me.

    Lisa Flanagan : I've wanted this for so long.

  • Paul Metzler : [narrating]  Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd actually won the election. Maybe my whole life would be different, like I might never have gone to Yosemite with Greg and Travis.

    [out loud, to the viewer] 

    Paul Metzler : Or maybe I'd be dead.

  • Paul Metzler : [brainstorming campaign slogans]  Paul... Paul Power. Paul... Paul for President. Promise... Progress... Peanut.

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