Election (1999)

Matthew Broderick: Jim McAllister

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Quotes 

• Jim McAllister : [narrating]  Oh, there's one more thing about Tracy I think you should know.

  Dave Novotny : Her pussy gets so wet you can't believe it.

• Jim McAllister : Tracy, you're a very intelligent girl. You have a lot of admirable qualities. But one day maybe you'll learn that being smart and doing whatever you need to do to get ahead, and stepping on other people to get there... well, there's a whole lot more to life than that. And in the end you're only cheating yourself.

  Tracy Flick : Why are you lecturing me?

  Jim McAllister : This isn't the time or the place to get into it, but there is, for just one example, a certain former colleage of mine, who made a very big mistake, a life mistake. Now, I think the lesson here is, old or young, we all make mistakes. And we have to learn that our actions, all of them, can carry serious consequences.

  Tracy Flick : I don't know what you're referring to, but maybe if certain older, wiser people hadn't acted like such little babies and gotten so mushy, then everything would be OK.

  Jim McAllister : I agree. And I also think that certain young and naive people need to thank their lucky stars and be very, very grateful that the entire school didn't find out about certain indiscretions that could have ruined their reputations and their chances to win certain elections.

  Tracy Flick : And I think certain older people, like you and your colleague, shouldn't be leching after their students, especially when some of them can't even get their own wives pregnant. And they certainly shouldn't be making slanderous accusations, especially when certain young, naive people's mothers are paralegal secretaries at the city's biggest law firm, and have won many successful law suits. And if you want to keep questioning me like this, I won't continue without my attorney present.

• Jim McAllister : Larry, we're not electing the fucking Pope here. Just tell me who won.

• Jim McAllister : Dave, I'm just saying this as your friend, what you're doing is really, really wrong and you've gotta stop. The line you've crossed is... it's immoral, and it's illegal.

  Dave Novotny : Jim, come on, I don't need a lecture on ethics.

  Jim McAllister : I'm not talking about ethics, I'm talking about morals.

  Dave Novotny : What's the difference?

• Jim McAllister : [narrating]  You might ask if I ever saw Tracy Flick again. Well, I did, just once. I was down in Washington for a museum educators conference, and I stayed an extra day to do some sightseeing. After an inspiring morning on the Mall, I was on my way to the Holocaust Museum, when...

  [across the street he spots Tracy chatting with a congressman, who she seems to be working for. As she gets into a stretch limousine with him, it freeze-frames on her with a smug expression on her face] 

  Jim McAllister : I'll never know if she saw me. Probably not. But in that moment, all the bad memories, all the things I'd ever wanted to say to her, it all came flooding back. My first impulse was to run over there, pound on her window and demand that she admit she tore down those posters, and lied and cheated her way into winning that election. But instead, I just stood there. And I suddenly realised I wasn't angry at her anymore, I just felt sorry for her. I mean, when I think about my new life and all the exciting things I'm doing, and then I think about what her life must be like... Probably still getting up at 5 in the morning to pursue her pathetic little dreams. It just makes me sad. I mean, where is she really trying to get to anyway? And what is she doing in that limo? Who the fuck does she think she is?

  [he throws his drink at the limo, it splatters on the rear window. The limo screeches to a halt and a man gets out and shouts at him as he runs away] 

• Jim McAllister : [while counting the votes, he sees Tracy in the hall looking into the room]  The sight of Tracy at that moment affected me in a way I can't fully explain. Part of it was that she was spying, but mostly it was her face. Who knew how high she would climb in life? How many people would suffer because of her? I had to stop her, now.

• Jim McAllister : [to himself, in the shower]  "Mr. McAllister, Mr. McAllister, somebody tore down my posters, it's not fair, it's not fair. Can I get an A? Can I get a recommendation? Can I? Can I?" Fuck them.

• Jim McAllister : Paul, what's your favorite fruit?

  Paul Metzler : Pears.

  Jim McAllister : [goes to the chalkboard]  Pears, good. OK, let's say...

  Paul Metzler : Oh, no wait! Apples.

  Jim McAllister : Apples. Fine.

  [he starts drawing circles on the chalkboard] 

  Jim McAllister : Let's say all you ever knew were apples. Apples, apples, and more apples. You might think apples were pretty good, even if you got a rotten one every once in a while. But then one day...

  [he draws another circle which looks the same as the others] 

  Jim McAllister : ...there's an orange. And now you can make a decision, do you want an apple or do you want an orange? That's democracy.

  Paul Metzler : I also like bananas.

• Tracy Flick : I can't wait to start campaigning.

  Jim McAllister : Ah, well, it should be easy for you, so far no competition.

  Tracy Flick : Yeah, but you know, Coca-Cola is by far the world's number one soft drink and they spend more money than anybody on advertising. I guess that's how come they stay number one.

• Jim McAllister : [narrating]  What happens to a man when he loses everything? Everything he's worked for... everything he believes in? Driven from his home... cast out of society... how can he survive? Where can he go? New York City! For centuries people have come to New York seeking refuge from their troubled lives. Now I am one of them.

• Jim McAllister : [narrating]  Linda never came home that night. I know, because I waited 10 hours waiting outside her house.

• [last lines] 

  Jim McAllister : [to a group of schoolchildren in the museum, asking a question phrased the same way as the one in his moral and ethics lesson at the start of the film]  So would that make this an igneous rock or a sedimentary rock? What's the difference between igneous and sedimentary anyway?

  [a precocious little girl sticks her hand up intently, just like Tracy used to. Obviously reminded of this, he ignores her and looks to the others, but none of them respond. The screen cuts to black] 

  Jim McAllister : Anybody?

• Dave Novotny : It know it seems crazy, but, Jim, what I'm trying to tell you is that Tracy and I are totally, totally... in love.

  Jim McAllister : [in disbelief]  In love?

  Dave Novotny : Yeah. It's serious. She inspires me in ways that Linda never has. She even wants to read my novel.

  Jim McAllister : But you haven't written your novel.

  Dave Novotny : That's the whole point! I've got the whole thing right here, I just need to get it out there. And Tracy wants me to write it so she can read it. It's beautiful.

• Jim McAllister : [driving his friend Linda home after taking her to the mall]  So, what do you think? Should we get a room?

  [he points to a motel] 

  Linda Novotny : That's not funny.

• Jim McAllister : [narrating]  Tracy Flick. Tracy Flick. I'd seen a lot of ambitious students come and go over the years, but Tracy Flick, she was a special case.