- Narrator: [as the brisk and mean sales manager enters the room to inspect the salesmen] Now that we've found GI Joe, whatever happened to his second lieutenant? True to the army spirit 'once an officer, always an officer', especially at inspection.
- Sales Manager: [briskly giving the salesmen a gruff pep talk] At ease men. The target for today is the west side between Main and Sycamore. I can't impress upon you too greatly the importance of this mission. Go out there and fight. Sell! Sell! Sell! And above all, don't bring back those vaccums. That's all.
- [last lines]
- Narrator: Well Joe, it looks like at last you've found success. We knew they couldn't keep a good man down. But tell us, how did ya do it? What're ya selling now?
- Joe McDoakes: [breaks the 'fourth wall' as he looks at the camera] Don't go away... B.B., M.F.B. - B.B., M.F.B. - Bubble Bath Means Fine Bathtubs - yes, Bubble Bath Means *Fine* Bathtubs
- [steps up to a xylophone with four other singing advertisement men and it's then apparent that he has stooped to the so-called 'lowest form of salesmanship' by joining the melody-driven bubble bath soap company]
- Joe McDoakes: Take a double bubble bath, it's a better bubble bath; / feels as fresh as a piece of apple pie. / Eliminate the aftermath with a double bubble bath. / If ya don't get kissed, you'll know the reason why. / bub-bub bub-bub bub, bub-bub bub-bub / bub-bub bub-bub bub, bub-bub bub-bub / bub bub bub bub bub bub bub / bub-bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub
- [first lines]
- Narrator: Today the entire world centers its attention on an invisible giant: the Atom. But let's not forget the ex-serviceman who layed down his guns of war for the weapons of industry. What's happened to GI Joe? Take for instance ex-private Joe McDoakes.