Talks of assassinating Caesar see Lurcio chosen as the one, Ammonia overhears the plans and rushes to warn the Emperor, and a striking resemblance gives Ponderous an idea.
Ludicrus Sextus is selling up and moving the family to Rome, nobody wants to tell an old friend that he won't be making the move, and Lurcio finds himself out on approval with Aphrodite.
Lurcio can't help feeling that the household are trying to get rid of him, news of a pretty visitor leads to ideas of trickery, and a bit of something in the wine results in a lot of something in the air.
Ludicrus Sextus explains that plans for a new weapon have been stolen, an agent is killed before he can utter the name of the traitor, and Lurcio persuades Ammonia to make the most of her womanly wiles.
Lurcio struggles to deliver the prologue, Ludicrus Sextus suggests the price of freedom should be 500 drachma, and Captain Bilius' shipment of slave girls brings an opportunity to make money.
There's talk of an uprising amongst the slaves, Lurcio's thrown into the dungeon after being caught holding incriminating pamphlets, and repeated rescue attempts make things a little cramped.
Ammonia orders Lurcio to get rid of Senator Lecherous, Nausius wants to help a girl he picks up in the street, and Ludicrus Sextus receives news of a visitor from Rome.
Nausius announces that he is to be married, Lurcio is asked to educate about the facts of life, and Ludicrus Sextus must come up with a way to get rid of the unsuitable commoner.
Ludicrus Sextus must choose Miss Vestal Virgin of BC72, Noxious plots to rig the contest because of the Senator's stance on bawdy houses, and Lurcio is told to find someone more suitable.