Other reviews put this up as one of the worst of all time, personally I think Hellinger owns that title. It belongs on the top 10 list for sure. With that said, I enjoy watching terrible movies because I find them hilarious. This movie tricks you with a horror beginning, it somehow turns into a kung fu flick, and finally a gun fighting crime movie with a Robocop. The over dub voice acting couldn't be worse, lacking emotion when it should be there and showing way too much when there is no need. Why they even overdubbed it in English is beyond me which makes it even more awesome. If you enjoy laughing at bad acting, bad costumes, and bad kung fu flicks you will appreciate this just for how terrible it is and how easy it is to make laugh at.
38 Reviews
There is a robo in this film, but no real vampires, sadly.
Aaron137522 May 2020
What do you get when you put two completely unrelated films together? You get the incomprehensible mess known as Robo Vampire, that's what! Seriously, this film is two films, one what basically incorporated an earlier film to pad out the film they were making. Robo Vampire is what they were making and I am not sure what the other film was, but it was obviously a film that did not feature any robot army men or vampires. Then again, the Robo Vampire portion of the film does not really feature any vampires either as it features what appear to be zombies and a ghost woman!
The story, oh boy, this is going to be a tough one. Seems there is a drug war going on and there are inexplicably zombies/vampires around so the drug dealers get the incredible idea to use these creatures to stop the drug agents from stopping them! Well, the drug agents create a cyborg to combat the vampires! Meanwhile, an agent is kidnapped after some priest who was hoarding cocaine was killed and another agent is sent to rescue her having a completely separate adventure than the vampires or the robot resides in!
The film is all over the place as it is a mashup of two films so one minute you are watching a robot battling hopping zombies and the next you are watching two people jumping out of a cable car. Not sure why they decided to fuse these two films together, but you do get a rather interesting mess to view.
So, this film is not good, but at least it's not boring. I mean, you start getting tired of a scene and then you are violently hurled into another completely random scene! The robot in the title looks like crap, basically a dude wearing tinfoil and oven mitts or something and he carries around a big gun that he can make come to him and that is about the extent of his powers. Not sure why they felt the need to deploy vampires against him as the rocket launcher took him out! Just a total mess of a film that relies on the viewer being able to meld two films that have nothing to do with each other together. Not an easy feat...
The story, oh boy, this is going to be a tough one. Seems there is a drug war going on and there are inexplicably zombies/vampires around so the drug dealers get the incredible idea to use these creatures to stop the drug agents from stopping them! Well, the drug agents create a cyborg to combat the vampires! Meanwhile, an agent is kidnapped after some priest who was hoarding cocaine was killed and another agent is sent to rescue her having a completely separate adventure than the vampires or the robot resides in!
The film is all over the place as it is a mashup of two films so one minute you are watching a robot battling hopping zombies and the next you are watching two people jumping out of a cable car. Not sure why they decided to fuse these two films together, but you do get a rather interesting mess to view.
So, this film is not good, but at least it's not boring. I mean, you start getting tired of a scene and then you are violently hurled into another completely random scene! The robot in the title looks like crap, basically a dude wearing tinfoil and oven mitts or something and he carries around a big gun that he can make come to him and that is about the extent of his powers. Not sure why they felt the need to deploy vampires against him as the rocket launcher took him out! Just a total mess of a film that relies on the viewer being able to meld two films that have nothing to do with each other together. Not an easy feat...
Epic Robo-Vampiric Disaster
Tweetienator7 October 2021
Robo Vampire belongs rightfully to any serious list of worst movies of all time. But, well, I did watch from the beginning to the end - maybe this tells something about me... Anyway, I checked a worst movie of all time list on Rottentomatoes and just can state: some of those mentioned movies on that list are almost Oscar material compared to Robo Vampire. But anyway, in all its badness there is still here and there some glimmering of entertaining and funny moments. For this reason: if you are able to digest a lot of trash, schlock, cheese, and really bad movie making in general and you have some appetite for some serious 80s action trash, you may try Robo Vampire - but under your own responsibility, I am not responsible for any damage taken ;)
Brilliantly terrible
Jjjkurosu2 September 2004
If robo vampire doesn't make you laugh till you cry then you have no sense of humor. Everything about it is so bad, it begs for you to watch again to catch even more plot holes, or at least a couple more laughs.
The movie claims to be about some drug agent who gets killed and is then reborn as a vampire-fighting robo warrior. But really the movie revolves around a plot about a kidnapped(and somehow beautiful) female agent named Sophie, with a robotic story planted on.
Everything is purely cheese in this movie. Robo-Warriors' costume looks like something you'd see in an elementary school play. He fights vampires that do everything but suck blood( they hop, they appear out of the ground, they shoot fireballs out of their arms). A third subplot about a half-naked ghost chick is completely confusing and terrible. The best part is when the blonde haired female drug agent Sophie jumps out of a window from enemies, and her stunt double is clearly a gray haired man in a dress(!).
On top of all of this you have to remember that the only reason that there are vampires in this movie is because the drug dealers hired them!
I don't care what anyone says, movies this bad should be cherished, and MUST be seen to be believed.
The movie claims to be about some drug agent who gets killed and is then reborn as a vampire-fighting robo warrior. But really the movie revolves around a plot about a kidnapped(and somehow beautiful) female agent named Sophie, with a robotic story planted on.
Everything is purely cheese in this movie. Robo-Warriors' costume looks like something you'd see in an elementary school play. He fights vampires that do everything but suck blood( they hop, they appear out of the ground, they shoot fireballs out of their arms). A third subplot about a half-naked ghost chick is completely confusing and terrible. The best part is when the blonde haired female drug agent Sophie jumps out of a window from enemies, and her stunt double is clearly a gray haired man in a dress(!).
On top of all of this you have to remember that the only reason that there are vampires in this movie is because the drug dealers hired them!
I don't care what anyone says, movies this bad should be cherished, and MUST be seen to be believed.
Two movies for the price of one!
Hanichi13 December 2003
It wasn't until the end of this film that I realized it was essentially two movies, both of which on their own could have qualified as pure tripe. One is the the robot vs. vampire story that the title suggests. The other is a more straightforward good guys vs. drug gang movie. Although I have only seen the movie once, I believe you will find that the characters from the one plot line NEVER appear in the exact same shot with the characters from the other plot line. It really is two movies, edited together.
This movie is an absolute riot. I highly recommend it. The first time I saw the robot, I laughed so hard a friend had to pause the film to let me recover. The hopping vampires...oh my, they are perhaps the silliest things to appear in film since the 1950's. The whole thing makes Dr. Who look like it was done by ILM.
For those connoisseurs of bad movies, please get this film. You will not regret it.
This movie is an absolute riot. I highly recommend it. The first time I saw the robot, I laughed so hard a friend had to pause the film to let me recover. The hopping vampires...oh my, they are perhaps the silliest things to appear in film since the 1950's. The whole thing makes Dr. Who look like it was done by ILM.
For those connoisseurs of bad movies, please get this film. You will not regret it.
HILARIOUS! At least it's entertainingly bad.
Idiot-Deluxe8 December 2019
ROBO VAMPIRE!
This one is so bad, it's good. Let's fry some brain cells together. Roll tape!
What an experience! Having watched this slice of Godfrey Ho action-trash the other day, I found myself to be both simultaneously enlightened and disgusted at just how insanely terrible and utterly scatter-brained this movie is. But best of all though, it's also incredibly entertaining. This is truly amateur alchemy in movie form and in it's own unique way is brilliant. For the uninitiated "Robo Vampire" is the hack-job work of none other than the great Godfrey Ho! A cinematic mad scientist/hack film director, whose specialty was making the MOST and the WORST martial arts films that any director ever has and he is very much the "Ed Wood of Kung Fu Cinema". The sheer awfulness of this mans body of work cannot be over-stated. Now that I've flattered Master Ho let me try to describe his movie: Robo Vampire. Upon first impression it looks like multiple movies (maybe as many as 3 different ones) have been sloppily edited and spliced together, just like many other Godfrey Ho titles seem to be, so don't expect anything in the way of a coherent plot. And as with any of Ho's movies you have their typically terrible and down-right stupid sounding dialogue (and over-dubbing it in English only makes it sound worse). But best of all is Godfrey Ho's habit of ripping-off popular American-made action films and done so in the most amateur and ham-handed way humanly imaginable. He flavored his own movies with elements that were obviously taken/plagiarized from other, better, movies. Such as "Ninja TERMINATOR" for instance. Yes, built right into the title sometimes, he made it that overtly obvious and did it often. But for ROBO Vampire, well obviously it's something of a ROBOCop rip-off. (NOTE* RoboCop was released the previous year.) If you see the artwork for this movie it literally has RoboCop's image plastered all over it, front and center, subtle. Definitely one of the most blatant examples of copyright infringement I can think of. And is that not the lamest and cheapest looking "robo suit" you've ever seen. As always, amazing production values from Team Ho! Yep, as he demonstrated for us many, many, times over the years, Godfrey Ho had a talent for making movies with a heavy hand... but had little in the way of actual talent. I also highly suspect drug use to be in the mix too, always just so damn incoherent, always.
Well now that I've wasted about an hours time, in conclusion, after having seen the unhinged brilliance that is "Robo Vampire"..... I can confidently conclude that no one else could cobble together a terrible (and incoherent) action film quite like Godfrey Ho. HE IS LEGEND. Make some more man!
Food-For-Thought: If this movie had an aroma, what would it smell like?
Off-hand I couldn't rightly say, but instinct tells me it would be a hideous amalgam of all that is highly odious. But honestly I'd love to hear some of the infernal combinations you guys could come up with. (Pinches his nose *tightly* closed.)
This one is so bad, it's good. Let's fry some brain cells together. Roll tape!
What an experience! Having watched this slice of Godfrey Ho action-trash the other day, I found myself to be both simultaneously enlightened and disgusted at just how insanely terrible and utterly scatter-brained this movie is. But best of all though, it's also incredibly entertaining. This is truly amateur alchemy in movie form and in it's own unique way is brilliant. For the uninitiated "Robo Vampire" is the hack-job work of none other than the great Godfrey Ho! A cinematic mad scientist/hack film director, whose specialty was making the MOST and the WORST martial arts films that any director ever has and he is very much the "Ed Wood of Kung Fu Cinema". The sheer awfulness of this mans body of work cannot be over-stated. Now that I've flattered Master Ho let me try to describe his movie: Robo Vampire. Upon first impression it looks like multiple movies (maybe as many as 3 different ones) have been sloppily edited and spliced together, just like many other Godfrey Ho titles seem to be, so don't expect anything in the way of a coherent plot. And as with any of Ho's movies you have their typically terrible and down-right stupid sounding dialogue (and over-dubbing it in English only makes it sound worse). But best of all is Godfrey Ho's habit of ripping-off popular American-made action films and done so in the most amateur and ham-handed way humanly imaginable. He flavored his own movies with elements that were obviously taken/plagiarized from other, better, movies. Such as "Ninja TERMINATOR" for instance. Yes, built right into the title sometimes, he made it that overtly obvious and did it often. But for ROBO Vampire, well obviously it's something of a ROBOCop rip-off. (NOTE* RoboCop was released the previous year.) If you see the artwork for this movie it literally has RoboCop's image plastered all over it, front and center, subtle. Definitely one of the most blatant examples of copyright infringement I can think of. And is that not the lamest and cheapest looking "robo suit" you've ever seen. As always, amazing production values from Team Ho! Yep, as he demonstrated for us many, many, times over the years, Godfrey Ho had a talent for making movies with a heavy hand... but had little in the way of actual talent. I also highly suspect drug use to be in the mix too, always just so damn incoherent, always.
Well now that I've wasted about an hours time, in conclusion, after having seen the unhinged brilliance that is "Robo Vampire"..... I can confidently conclude that no one else could cobble together a terrible (and incoherent) action film quite like Godfrey Ho. HE IS LEGEND. Make some more man!
Food-For-Thought: If this movie had an aroma, what would it smell like?
Off-hand I couldn't rightly say, but instinct tells me it would be a hideous amalgam of all that is highly odious. But honestly I'd love to hear some of the infernal combinations you guys could come up with. (Pinches his nose *tightly* closed.)
Turn it off!
nogodnomasters28 January 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This movie has major league camp value and is extremely bad in all aspects. Drug smugglers use "vampires" to help them combat law enforcement. These are not western ideas of vampires, but that of the orient. Vampire is a generic phrase used to indicate one that has come back from the dead. It is more akin to a zombie in a guerrilla mask. In this film the vampires move with their arms extended while hopping. The plot continuity of their abilities doesn't make any sense.
One of the vampires has a witch ghost as its lover. She is upset that he was made into a vampire, so now they can't be together in the afterlife, but she gets over it.
The Robo Vampire is really a robocop. He is created to fight the vampires. The dubbing was bad, even though the credits claimed they had a dialogue coach. The voices didn't match the faces either. Rice powder will wake up vampires.
The film has a high 5 star MST value.
Parental Guide: F-bomb, nudity.
One of the vampires has a witch ghost as its lover. She is upset that he was made into a vampire, so now they can't be together in the afterlife, but she gets over it.
The Robo Vampire is really a robocop. He is created to fight the vampires. The dubbing was bad, even though the credits claimed they had a dialogue coach. The voices didn't match the faces either. Rice powder will wake up vampires.
The film has a high 5 star MST value.
Parental Guide: F-bomb, nudity.
Should be nicknamed the Ring
irishdjc3311 January 2007
This movie is so terrible that it is wrong for one to own it. it must be viewed then instantly given away.(Trust me you wont have the urge to watch it again!) I say it should be called the Ring because 7 days after making it all of the actors careers DIED! Check the filmographies...its true. The only one who had a career after this movie was uncredited in the film! (good decision)My vote for worst film ever and for that reason all should at least see it once! Remember pass it along don't keep it to yourself. I was given a copy just over a year ago and that copy is now circulating through North Carolina at last check. Enjoy!
The... Pain...
mage36024 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
This is hands down the worst movie I have seen in my life. It tore at my fragile sanity. Now, I gotta warn you, there's some spoilers in here, if you can call them spoilers. I like to think this movie was filmed in real time and actually happened because something like this can't be written. It defies logic.
So drug dealers get a zombie wrangler to summon zombies, and this "anti-drug agent" tries to hunt them down but dies, or so we're led to believe by the abysmal face paint applied to him. He is brought back to life as an android wearing a suit made of silver oven mitts and wearing a helmet that doesn't fit. If I was brought back as an android that looked like that, I'd empty my clip into myself. But wait! There's more! See, one of the zombies (who inexplicably wears a gorilla mask) is in love with a ghost.
And some other stuff happens. I can't really remember. My brain blocked it out to save me from the horrifically bad imagery. The "zombies" shoot sparklers at the anti-drug agents. Yes, sparklers. I must admit, though, the cover on the DVD makes me laugh a lot. It shows Robocop in a pose that can only be described as lovingly holding the zombie wearing the gorilla mask.
So drug dealers get a zombie wrangler to summon zombies, and this "anti-drug agent" tries to hunt them down but dies, or so we're led to believe by the abysmal face paint applied to him. He is brought back to life as an android wearing a suit made of silver oven mitts and wearing a helmet that doesn't fit. If I was brought back as an android that looked like that, I'd empty my clip into myself. But wait! There's more! See, one of the zombies (who inexplicably wears a gorilla mask) is in love with a ghost.
And some other stuff happens. I can't really remember. My brain blocked it out to save me from the horrifically bad imagery. The "zombies" shoot sparklers at the anti-drug agents. Yes, sparklers. I must admit, though, the cover on the DVD makes me laugh a lot. It shows Robocop in a pose that can only be described as lovingly holding the zombie wearing the gorilla mask.
Ed Wood is alive, and working for the Japanese!!!
Soylent Blue11 December 2002
With a budget of 2.5 million dollars and the talents of that master thespian Denis Lawson (aka Wedge "Look At The Size Of That Thing" Antilles from the original Star Wars Trilogy), you might think that a ground-breaking independent film on the subjects of robot/vampire conflicts and the Japanese drug trade could be created. I wouldn't, but you might.
The acting, what there was of it, was terrible. The same goes for the writing. One unintentionally funny line occurs when "Some Guy" sneaks up on his skinny-dipping girlfriend. She sees him and covers herself. He responds with a line like: "It's a beautiful view. You should bathe more often".
As pure cinematic cheese , this movie has it all: badly acted death scenes, rampant explosions and blood, horrible special effects and costumes, crazy edits, obvious stunt doubles, jumping Japanese vampires and of course, a naked ghost.
Death scenes: After a man is shot, he collapses, then he looks off-camera at the unfortunate director of this movie for direction, and collapses again. Is he dead? Maybe after the end credits he'll look around again before exploding. In another scene, a hero character fires ONCE at a line of enemies and two men, from opposite ends of the line mind you, drop dead.
Explosions: BOOM! BOOM! BANG! BANG! You can't even guess when one will happen and after 10 minutes, you won't care.
Blood: The movie is about vampires, so each scene is like the elevator scene from The Shining
FX/Costumes: Smoke everywhere and the head vampire shoots bottle rockets, or something from his arms. The Robo character is a resembles a baked potato in all that tin foil. The Head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and not a good one at that.
Crazy Edits: I'll let you pick them out.
During fights featuring the ghost girl, the actress playing her is replaced by a shorter and thinner girl with different hair.
Maybe in Japan vampires who jump around are frightening, but I found them hilarious. I'm not sure why putting flypaper on their faces puts them sleep either.
Naked ghost:Self-explanatory.
Don't expect "Traffic" meets "Robocop" meets "Dracula" because what you'll get is "Up In Smoke" meets "Short Circuit" meets "Blacula". I gave this movie a 1 because as an action film, it was truly awful. As a comedy, i'd give it a 10 even if the humour is unintentional. If you like cheesy movies, as I do, go out and rent (I bet you could buy it cheaper though) "Robo-Vampire".
If You Dare...
The acting, what there was of it, was terrible. The same goes for the writing. One unintentionally funny line occurs when "Some Guy" sneaks up on his skinny-dipping girlfriend. She sees him and covers herself. He responds with a line like: "It's a beautiful view. You should bathe more often".
As pure cinematic cheese , this movie has it all: badly acted death scenes, rampant explosions and blood, horrible special effects and costumes, crazy edits, obvious stunt doubles, jumping Japanese vampires and of course, a naked ghost.
Death scenes: After a man is shot, he collapses, then he looks off-camera at the unfortunate director of this movie for direction, and collapses again. Is he dead? Maybe after the end credits he'll look around again before exploding. In another scene, a hero character fires ONCE at a line of enemies and two men, from opposite ends of the line mind you, drop dead.
Explosions: BOOM! BOOM! BANG! BANG! You can't even guess when one will happen and after 10 minutes, you won't care.
Blood: The movie is about vampires, so each scene is like the elevator scene from The Shining
FX/Costumes: Smoke everywhere and the head vampire shoots bottle rockets, or something from his arms. The Robo character is a resembles a baked potato in all that tin foil. The Head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and not a good one at that.
Crazy Edits: I'll let you pick them out.
During fights featuring the ghost girl, the actress playing her is replaced by a shorter and thinner girl with different hair.
Maybe in Japan vampires who jump around are frightening, but I found them hilarious. I'm not sure why putting flypaper on their faces puts them sleep either.
Naked ghost:Self-explanatory.
Don't expect "Traffic" meets "Robocop" meets "Dracula" because what you'll get is "Up In Smoke" meets "Short Circuit" meets "Blacula". I gave this movie a 1 because as an action film, it was truly awful. As a comedy, i'd give it a 10 even if the humour is unintentional. If you like cheesy movies, as I do, go out and rent (I bet you could buy it cheaper though) "Robo-Vampire".
If You Dare...
Great Googly-Moogly!
inhopewell13 June 2013
Warning: Spoilers
To describe "Robo Vampire" as a "trainwreck" would imply that it has more continuity than it does; indeed, this film seems to have been made by at least two separate film crews at different times, then stuck together.
I've read Chinese folklore, and I don't recall ever reading about hopping vampires who shoot sparks out of their sleeves. Of course, without them, this flick would be a lot less fun. The head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and has an affair with a ghost girl in a see-through top, with what sounds like a Midwestern accent.
There's gangsters, soldiers, mercenaries, cops, vampires, and a cyborg who looks like he was crafted from disposable roasting pans and duct tape.
Overall, the film is reminiscent of the worst of Al Adamson, with an Asian flavor.
I've read Chinese folklore, and I don't recall ever reading about hopping vampires who shoot sparks out of their sleeves. Of course, without them, this flick would be a lot less fun. The head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and has an affair with a ghost girl in a see-through top, with what sounds like a Midwestern accent.
There's gangsters, soldiers, mercenaries, cops, vampires, and a cyborg who looks like he was crafted from disposable roasting pans and duct tape.
Overall, the film is reminiscent of the worst of Al Adamson, with an Asian flavor.
An absolutely astonishing camp riot
Woodyanders19 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This astoundingly abysmal piece of unmitigated schlock rates highly as one of the single most sublimely stupid and sidesplitting kitsch hoots I've had the pleasure to watch in quite a while. An evil drug lord uses a bunch of rot-faced hopping vampires to retain his power. Narcotics agent Tom Wilde gets shot and killed in the line of duty. He's brought back to life as a lethal and unstoppable cyborg who looks like he's been wrapped from head to toe in bright shiny tin foil. Meanwhile a macho meathead mercenary guy battles dope dealers in the jungle who have abducted a beautiful blonde babe agent. Boy, does this jaw-dropping dreadful doozy possess all the correct so-utterly-wrong-that-they're-paradoxically-right stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: fumbling (mis)direction, priceless dopey dialogue (favorite line: "Kill the priest, quick!"), ineptly staged shoot-outs, hilariously horrible dubbing, plentiful gut-busting over-the-top chopysocky fight scenes, broadly drawn characters, horrendously hammy acting, a silly romantic subplot involving the head vampire guy who can fire sparks from his fingertips and a sexy ghost girl wearing a semi-transparent gown (said sexy ghost girl is obviously doubled by a man during her more strenuous fight scenes!), a generic hum'n'shiver synthesizer score, outrageously gruesome, yet tacky gore, a rambling and barely coherent narrative (this flick is clearly two separate movies which have been sloppily edited together), a nonstop frantic pace, and a seriously messed-up story that clumsily combines elements of horror, action, martial arts, crime thriller and even comedy into a spectacularly ungodly brew. An undeniably awful, but often uproarious and always immensely entertaining serving of infectiously inane celluloid lunacy.
What........the........hell.......?!
HaemovoreRex2 November 2008
Tomas Tang launches yet another cinematic stercolith onto the bewildered general public in this absolutely insane Robocop inspired/hopping vampires/action/love story(!!!) Well, to describe the end result as not making any sense would be a gross understatement; In fact, watching this you'll very quickly find yourself rendered mouth agape in gormless disbelief as the random on screen events flash by before your bleary eyes! But, let this not put you off viewing this cinematic mess, for despite the completely nonsensical nature of it all, it is strangely captivating in a very bizarre way....much akin to being hypnotised in fact! So, what the hell is exactly going on in this? Well, in all honesty your guess is about as good as mine and I've just only just finished watching it! From what I could discern, the story centres around a bunch of drug smugglers who take the unusual step of employing a corrupt Taoist priest/sorcerer to resurrect vampires in order to stash their drugs inside them(!) But wait, for it gets even more bizarre! One of the vampires raised called the 'Vampire Beast' (on account of the cheap fx gorilla mask the relevant actor is wearing), is the ex lover of a lady ghost who shows up, none to happy that her boyfriend is being used so thus preventing the two of them from passing to the afterlife together. So what does the word 'Robo' in the films title pertain to you might ask? Well, in yet another bizarre plot tangent, an American agent is killed by the Vampire Beast and is brought back to life as a cheap looking Robo-Cop clone in order to battle the forces of evil. Yes, this is truly bewildering stuff that really needs to be seen to be believed.......the only trouble being that even whilst watching this, you STILL won't believe it!
More entertaining than it has any right to be
daniel-mannouch11 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
From a few screenshots alone, you can tell that this is going to be a special experience. Whilst not for those who genuinely consider The Room to be the worst movie they've ever seen (Lucky bunnies), Robo Vampire is by far one of Godfrey Ho's most entertaining efforts.
Where most of fun from Filmark's output comes from the dubbing, Robo Vampire goes that extra step by creating a story that only could have come out of the South east Asian exploitation film scene, in 1988 specifically.
If the sight of an M16 welding Velcrocop being encircled, apache style, by hopping zombie monks doesn't bring a smile to your face, then please see a doctor.
It has to be understood that the truly beautiful classic films are the ones that not only take you back to the decade in which it was filmed, it takes you back to the very month of it's production.
Plot holes? Who cares. Non acting? Who cares. Robo Vampire is a film of majestic images and feelings. The way the story just thrusts us from one unconnected story to another is a kind of rush that's not easily explainable. Ghost lovers, commandos and evil international (They're German. They're German) businessmen all play their part in befuddling us to ecstatic levels.
Primo trash gunfights, martial arts and Bela Lugosi's lab equipment from Bride of the Monster are the most fun highlights from all this head spinning psychotronia. Some tasteless scenes include a dead animal being stuffed with Heroin and the overtly sexualised violence of a female captive. I don't know, i just can't look past that kind of stuff anymore. It just brings me down.
But thankfully, the rough stuff is few and far between as the rest of the running time is occupied by classic Filmark dubbing, editing from the gods and of course, Robo Warrior vs the Vampire Zombie Monks.
I'll conclude by saying that a HD home video release of Robo Vampire would make my year. This level of madness deserves to be seen with as much clarity as possible.
Where most of fun from Filmark's output comes from the dubbing, Robo Vampire goes that extra step by creating a story that only could have come out of the South east Asian exploitation film scene, in 1988 specifically.
If the sight of an M16 welding Velcrocop being encircled, apache style, by hopping zombie monks doesn't bring a smile to your face, then please see a doctor.
It has to be understood that the truly beautiful classic films are the ones that not only take you back to the decade in which it was filmed, it takes you back to the very month of it's production.
- Robocop cash in (The first one maybe)
- Light Gore and nudity
- a Chinese ghost story stuck in the Shaw Brother's era COMBINED with the war on drugs COMBINED with god knows what other unfinished Asian actionsploitation Tomas Tang could get his hands on.
Plot holes? Who cares. Non acting? Who cares. Robo Vampire is a film of majestic images and feelings. The way the story just thrusts us from one unconnected story to another is a kind of rush that's not easily explainable. Ghost lovers, commandos and evil international (They're German. They're German) businessmen all play their part in befuddling us to ecstatic levels.
Primo trash gunfights, martial arts and Bela Lugosi's lab equipment from Bride of the Monster are the most fun highlights from all this head spinning psychotronia. Some tasteless scenes include a dead animal being stuffed with Heroin and the overtly sexualised violence of a female captive. I don't know, i just can't look past that kind of stuff anymore. It just brings me down.
But thankfully, the rough stuff is few and far between as the rest of the running time is occupied by classic Filmark dubbing, editing from the gods and of course, Robo Warrior vs the Vampire Zombie Monks.
I'll conclude by saying that a HD home video release of Robo Vampire would make my year. This level of madness deserves to be seen with as much clarity as possible.
Just amazing...
leandog4 July 2003
The reason this movie isn't at the top of the "worst ever" list is simply that it's not yet as well-known (or infamous) as "Plan 9 From Outer Space," "Manos," or "The Beast of Yucca Flats." This is one of those movies that makes you gape in disbelief. The ludicrous storyline pits Robo Warrior (who's dressed in floppy silver coveralls, motorcycle goggles, and a car radio antenna) against a cadre of traditional Chinese hopping vampires. The vampires are being controlled by drug dealers, naturally enough, who employ a Taoist monk to help them create a Vampire Beast. Said beast is a guy in a Mandarin robe and a gorilla mask! Then the Beast's dead finacee, a girl in a see-through nightie, shows up, and the pushers decide the couple should go ahead and get married... But that's only half of the movie. There's also ample footage cut in from another movie, a generic Asian-made shoot 'em up. In my favorite scene, the slow-walking Robo chases the slow-hopping Beast in the pokiest slow-speed chase since OJ and the LAPD. If Ed Wood had lived to see "RoboCop" and "A Chinese Ghost Story," this is the movie he might have made. It's that bad. And it's that good. Scour the bargain bins for this one.
hands down, the worst movie ever
brakson3 June 2001
Warning: Spoilers
I've seen a lot of bad movies in my day, and i'm pretty sure this takes the cake...
wow, where to start on this movie. first, shame on many of you for voting 10 on this movie, it may be fun to watch because its so bad, but i think it belongs as #1 on the bottom 100 spot, it deserves nothing more than a 1 on the list. I'm pretty tired of movies that truly belong on the bottom of the list not getting there because they were not on MST3K. At first before i watched this movie, i stuck to my story that the worst movie that i had seen so far was the Nail gun massacre (and yes, that movie is quite bad) , and i'm going to have to say this blew that movie away. First as we see on the cover a picture that is clearly robocop (i'm not sure how magnum video got away with this blatant copy write infringement) putting a vampire in a headlock, so i put this garbage into the vcr, and now im here writing a review for the movie. The problem being, i don't know what to say, the movie had absolutely no plot, and people throw that phrase around a lot, but this movie doesn't, no plot at all.
(i guess this contains spoilers, oh well i guess im spoiling what little of a plot the worst movie ever has)
(back of the box) "Narcotics agent Tom Wilde is given a second chance at life after being shot and killed. In a futuristic experiment, agent Wilde is returned to life as an Android robot. He is sent on a very dangerous mission into the depths of the Golden triangle to rescue Sophie, a beautiful undercover agent who has been captured by the evil drug warlord Mr.. young and his inhuman creation the vampire beast. In a climactic battle, tom must use all of his robotic powers to defeat the savage drug lord and his monstrous blood sucking creation"
YES, THE COMPANY THAT MADE THE MOVIE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE PLOT.
1. tom wilde isn't shot to death, he is killed by a vampire
2. sophie and tom, (robo warrior) are never on the screen at the same time, EVER. which ill also back up some of the reviewers when they say that this movie is two movies spliced together, its just two different things going on at the same time that never meet except for about 10 minutes.
other than this, i cant really go through the non-existent plot, can i? here are a few nice tidbits from the movie though
1. The lead vampire wears a Halloween store grade monkey mask and CLEARLY shoots bottle rockets out of his hands
2. some scenes have up to 5-10 bad edits, especially fight scenes. and look as if they were done with 2 vcr's
3. robo warriors suit looks like tin foil, he in no way looks like robocop
4. the evil drug dealers use chinese water torture on the anti drug agents but LET'S THEM MOVE THEIR HEADS FREELY WHILE WATER DRIPS ON THEM.
5. a woman pokes out a man's eyes with the three stooges two finger eye poke
6. the fight between robo warrior and the vampires for no reason what so ever moves from the jungle (where more than 99% of the movie is based) to some some city in a fraction of a second.
and many more, i beg...i plead with you to give this movie a 1 and a 1 only. lets put this movie where it belongs! at the bottom of the list!!!
wow, where to start on this movie. first, shame on many of you for voting 10 on this movie, it may be fun to watch because its so bad, but i think it belongs as #1 on the bottom 100 spot, it deserves nothing more than a 1 on the list. I'm pretty tired of movies that truly belong on the bottom of the list not getting there because they were not on MST3K. At first before i watched this movie, i stuck to my story that the worst movie that i had seen so far was the Nail gun massacre (and yes, that movie is quite bad) , and i'm going to have to say this blew that movie away. First as we see on the cover a picture that is clearly robocop (i'm not sure how magnum video got away with this blatant copy write infringement) putting a vampire in a headlock, so i put this garbage into the vcr, and now im here writing a review for the movie. The problem being, i don't know what to say, the movie had absolutely no plot, and people throw that phrase around a lot, but this movie doesn't, no plot at all.
(i guess this contains spoilers, oh well i guess im spoiling what little of a plot the worst movie ever has)
(back of the box) "Narcotics agent Tom Wilde is given a second chance at life after being shot and killed. In a futuristic experiment, agent Wilde is returned to life as an Android robot. He is sent on a very dangerous mission into the depths of the Golden triangle to rescue Sophie, a beautiful undercover agent who has been captured by the evil drug warlord Mr.. young and his inhuman creation the vampire beast. In a climactic battle, tom must use all of his robotic powers to defeat the savage drug lord and his monstrous blood sucking creation"
YES, THE COMPANY THAT MADE THE MOVIE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE PLOT.
1. tom wilde isn't shot to death, he is killed by a vampire
2. sophie and tom, (robo warrior) are never on the screen at the same time, EVER. which ill also back up some of the reviewers when they say that this movie is two movies spliced together, its just two different things going on at the same time that never meet except for about 10 minutes.
other than this, i cant really go through the non-existent plot, can i? here are a few nice tidbits from the movie though
1. The lead vampire wears a Halloween store grade monkey mask and CLEARLY shoots bottle rockets out of his hands
2. some scenes have up to 5-10 bad edits, especially fight scenes. and look as if they were done with 2 vcr's
3. robo warriors suit looks like tin foil, he in no way looks like robocop
4. the evil drug dealers use chinese water torture on the anti drug agents but LET'S THEM MOVE THEIR HEADS FREELY WHILE WATER DRIPS ON THEM.
5. a woman pokes out a man's eyes with the three stooges two finger eye poke
6. the fight between robo warrior and the vampires for no reason what so ever moves from the jungle (where more than 99% of the movie is based) to some some city in a fraction of a second.
and many more, i beg...i plead with you to give this movie a 1 and a 1 only. lets put this movie where it belongs! at the bottom of the list!!!
The Best Worst Movie ever
herrdada23 June 2005
I've seen this movie about 10 years ago (and made a comment in IMDb, which has been erased...) I could not believe my eyes when I saw the hopping vampires (though I already knew about them 'cause I first read a reference about this movie in some book about vampires and stuff) Then in some "lucky" day I found the video in a Video Club and I said to a friend of mine: "WE HAVE TO RENT IT!!!" I just rewind the tape over and over again in one final scene where "Robocop" and the leaping vampires looked like they were playing some game in the kinder garden playground! It was too hilarious.
Ed Wood compared to this is just children play... This IS the most stupid, worst, non-sense and plot less movie I ever saw in my life! In fact I'm even hesitating on how should I rate this movie... 1 or 10??
Ed Wood compared to this is just children play... This IS the most stupid, worst, non-sense and plot less movie I ever saw in my life! In fact I'm even hesitating on how should I rate this movie... 1 or 10??
ENjoyable in a bad movie sort of way
dbborroughs9 January 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Another Godfrey Ho cut an paste job taking a Chinese hopping vampire movie and melding it with new footage about a drug enforcement agent brought back from the dead and sent to rescue some one- or something.
Beyond badly dubbed this is funny for all the wrong reasons. As happens with some of Ho's ...er...films the cut up film at its center is strong enough to make amusing viewing.
I can't believe I said that about a Godfrey Ho film- but miracles do happen occasionally... unfortunately for me its never 350 million dollar lottery prizes.
For bad movie lovers only.
Beyond badly dubbed this is funny for all the wrong reasons. As happens with some of Ho's ...er...films the cut up film at its center is strong enough to make amusing viewing.
I can't believe I said that about a Godfrey Ho film- but miracles do happen occasionally... unfortunately for me its never 350 million dollar lottery prizes.
For bad movie lovers only.
I'm no vegan but...
mcintyre999780319 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I understand a new for realism but this movie fully kills a cow. In the first 10 minutes, they tried to recreate a drug mule and to do this they cut open what appears to be an anaesthetised cow, stuffed it with bags of prop drugs. I'll say the person doing this was definitely confident, she might be a vet or a doctor who hopefully lost her license after agreeing to be in this movie, but that doesn't stop their being definite scenes where the cow is alive, is cut open whilst still alive and then is dead. I eat meat, I understand that eating meat kills animals but this felt like it should've been illegal to do in a bad rip off robocop movie that does have 1 funny 15seconds about 35 minutes in, I'd suggest just watching that and then ironically watch a better terrible Robocop movie that doesn't contain literal Cattle Mutilation.
The Cinematic Equivelent of a Siezure
williampsamuel15 April 2021
The title Robo Vampire is something of a misnomer. At no point in this movie is there a robot vampire. Robot vs. Vampires would be more accurate, though the robot is actually a cyborg and the "vampires" are undead creatures that look and act more like zombies, move by hopping around, and are summoned with offerings of drugs. Oh, and they're led by a Gorilla man who shoots fireworks out of his sleeves and a "ghost witch" who may or may not actually be dead. Anyway, they're all employed by a drug syndicate to kill narcotics agents. And somehow, all of this makes much, much less sense than this description would imply.
Robo Vampire is a movie completely devoid of logic or coherence. There is nothing even resembling continuity. Most of the scenes have no connection to each other, no real transitions in between, and if you showed them out of order, it would barely make a difference. Characters appear with no introduction, disappear with no explanation, and occasionally seem to change from White to Asian and back between shots. The scene in which the cyborg first appears does a slow fade from him being activated in the lab to him throttling two soldiers in a forest. Then the movie just forgets about him for a while. Later he's shot with a rocket launcher, and before the smoke has even cleared, he's back on the operating table.
If it seems like Robo Vampire was stitched together from several completely unrelated movies, that's because it totally was. Large portions were lifted from a Thai action thriller, combined with hastily shot new footage and effects shots from some the director's previous films, then atrociously dubbed. And I do mean atrociously. You've got love a line like "Orientals are a stubborn people" in a movie written and directed by a Chinese man. Apparently, director/writer Godfrey Ho made a career of cranking out frankenfilms like this. His IMDB page lists more than twenty credits for 1988 alone, which gives you an idea just how much time and effort went into this.
Supposedly this movie had a budget of $2.5 million, but it looks like made with about $90, a camcorder, and some off the shelf Halloween costumes. The effects are cheap and unconvincing, the same empty warehouse and riverbank keep showing up again and again, and the robot is clearly the work of a sewing machine. There are a few relatively competent fights and shootouts, which obviously came from another movie. The action scenes with the robot and the vampires mostly look like the result of the editor having a seizure while the actors flail and hop around.
In fact, this whole movie is essentially the cinematic equivalent of a seizure. Or maybe a really bad acid trip. Heaven knows that with the constant references to drugs in this movie the filmmakers must have been on some themselves. I don't know what audience this was intended for, or how it could possibly have made any money, but the fact that this director made 149 other movies of roughly equal quality is enough to fill me with deep foreboding.
Robo Vampire is a movie completely devoid of logic or coherence. There is nothing even resembling continuity. Most of the scenes have no connection to each other, no real transitions in between, and if you showed them out of order, it would barely make a difference. Characters appear with no introduction, disappear with no explanation, and occasionally seem to change from White to Asian and back between shots. The scene in which the cyborg first appears does a slow fade from him being activated in the lab to him throttling two soldiers in a forest. Then the movie just forgets about him for a while. Later he's shot with a rocket launcher, and before the smoke has even cleared, he's back on the operating table.
If it seems like Robo Vampire was stitched together from several completely unrelated movies, that's because it totally was. Large portions were lifted from a Thai action thriller, combined with hastily shot new footage and effects shots from some the director's previous films, then atrociously dubbed. And I do mean atrociously. You've got love a line like "Orientals are a stubborn people" in a movie written and directed by a Chinese man. Apparently, director/writer Godfrey Ho made a career of cranking out frankenfilms like this. His IMDB page lists more than twenty credits for 1988 alone, which gives you an idea just how much time and effort went into this.
Supposedly this movie had a budget of $2.5 million, but it looks like made with about $90, a camcorder, and some off the shelf Halloween costumes. The effects are cheap and unconvincing, the same empty warehouse and riverbank keep showing up again and again, and the robot is clearly the work of a sewing machine. There are a few relatively competent fights and shootouts, which obviously came from another movie. The action scenes with the robot and the vampires mostly look like the result of the editor having a seizure while the actors flail and hop around.
In fact, this whole movie is essentially the cinematic equivalent of a seizure. Or maybe a really bad acid trip. Heaven knows that with the constant references to drugs in this movie the filmmakers must have been on some themselves. I don't know what audience this was intended for, or how it could possibly have made any money, but the fact that this director made 149 other movies of roughly equal quality is enough to fill me with deep foreboding.
Horror-BULL Sci-Fi Martial Arts Action
Rainey-Dawn14 November 2016
Horror-BULL Sci-Fi Martial Arts Action - that's exactly what this film is and it's a load of bull-crap. It's obvious that someone loves vampires, robocop, martial arts, sci-fi and action films because they rolled it into one forgettable crappy film.
I acquired this piece of cinema poop from the Sci-Fi Invasion 50-Pack. This is one of those films I'll add to my Garbage Collection film list. It's NOT my taste in films at all - far from it.
I like a little bit of action and a handful of martial arts films. I liked Robocop just fine and I love Vampires (but not all the vampire films do I like). But to roll all of that into one long beyond awful film -- that's just a waste of film.
1/10
I acquired this piece of cinema poop from the Sci-Fi Invasion 50-Pack. This is one of those films I'll add to my Garbage Collection film list. It's NOT my taste in films at all - far from it.
I like a little bit of action and a handful of martial arts films. I liked Robocop just fine and I love Vampires (but not all the vampire films do I like). But to roll all of that into one long beyond awful film -- that's just a waste of film.
1/10
100% Real Cheese, 100% Real Entertainment!
Junkie-630 August 2000
The credits seem to be completely wrong and the plot synopsis lists it as a Japanese movie (with Japanese hopping vampires - !?), but this is the perpetually poverty-striken Thomas Tang's unflinchingly cheesy rip-off of RoboCop... Sorta. Not to leave well enough along Tang decided to have their RoboReject (here called RoboWarrior), looking utterly laughable in a silver lamé get-up that must be seen to be disbelieved, fight a bunch of drug-dealers who are using hopping vampires to protect their drug smuggling.
Subplots and characters are completely forgotten half way through the movie about only to pop-up near the end, the main tough-guy hired to rescue a drug-agent in the hands of the bad guys constantly gets his butt kicked and has to be saved every time and some sequences just make no sense whatsoever. Apparently the entire budget went to guns, explosives and pyrotechnics (which ain't exactly a bad thing). Oh, and the white chick who plays a ghost who shows her boobs when not being doubled by an Asian in a similar (but not remotely identical) outfit for the fight scenes.
I could ramble on about this gem, but words cannot do this film justice! It must be seen to be disbelieved!
A treasured part of my bad cinema collection and if you are a cheese lovin' trash cinema fan (not some dork who is into it because it's the cool thing these days but would rather see a Schwartzenegger flick when all is said and done), this is essential viewing with a short-case of suds and some quick-witted friends.
Subplots and characters are completely forgotten half way through the movie about only to pop-up near the end, the main tough-guy hired to rescue a drug-agent in the hands of the bad guys constantly gets his butt kicked and has to be saved every time and some sequences just make no sense whatsoever. Apparently the entire budget went to guns, explosives and pyrotechnics (which ain't exactly a bad thing). Oh, and the white chick who plays a ghost who shows her boobs when not being doubled by an Asian in a similar (but not remotely identical) outfit for the fight scenes.
I could ramble on about this gem, but words cannot do this film justice! It must be seen to be disbelieved!
A treasured part of my bad cinema collection and if you are a cheese lovin' trash cinema fan (not some dork who is into it because it's the cool thing these days but would rather see a Schwartzenegger flick when all is said and done), this is essential viewing with a short-case of suds and some quick-witted friends.
Directed by Joe Livingstone AKA Godfrey Ho.
BA_Harrison26 March 2013
A drug-lord recruits Chinese vampires to protect his business from government narcotics agents. When one of their people is captured, the authorities not only send in a rescue team but also create an indestructible cyborg to take on the enemy.
I knew it, I knew it! Although my copy of Robo Vampire names (blames?) someone called Joe Livingstone as director, everything I saw screamed Godfrey Ho. The insane, disjointed story (the result of two or more films badly spliced together); the crappy kung fu; the awful dubbing; the ridiculous special effects: Ho's inimitable touch was all over this nonsense.
Featuring quite possibly the worst RoboCop rip-off ever (the cyborg's suit is made from padded silver lamé), a hopping vampire in a rubber gorilla mask with fireworks up its sleeves (?!?!), a yucky scene in which a woman packs heroin inside the stomach of a dead animal, a female ghost who bares her breasts in order to distract her foes, and numerous badly stuffed dummies being thrown about in poorly choreographed fight scenes, this has to be one the most bonkers and least comprehensible efforts in Ho's canon. Consequently, it also proves to be one of his more entertaining efforts.
6.5 out of 10, rounded up 7 for IMDb.
I knew it, I knew it! Although my copy of Robo Vampire names (blames?) someone called Joe Livingstone as director, everything I saw screamed Godfrey Ho. The insane, disjointed story (the result of two or more films badly spliced together); the crappy kung fu; the awful dubbing; the ridiculous special effects: Ho's inimitable touch was all over this nonsense.
Featuring quite possibly the worst RoboCop rip-off ever (the cyborg's suit is made from padded silver lamé), a hopping vampire in a rubber gorilla mask with fireworks up its sleeves (?!?!), a yucky scene in which a woman packs heroin inside the stomach of a dead animal, a female ghost who bares her breasts in order to distract her foes, and numerous badly stuffed dummies being thrown about in poorly choreographed fight scenes, this has to be one the most bonkers and least comprehensible efforts in Ho's canon. Consequently, it also proves to be one of his more entertaining efforts.
6.5 out of 10, rounded up 7 for IMDb.
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