Lauren:
Ryan and I were having sex! Hot steamy, sweaty sex! My body tingled orgasm after orgasm...
Sgt. Orono:
Lady, I just asked for your name.
Lauren:
Oh... Mrs. Hibbing Goodhue.
Ryan Harrison:
[
to Sean] Right? Signal "yes" by shooting yourself in the head three times.
Lauren:
Don't, it's a trick!
Ryan Harrison:
Your dog sure has a surprised look on his face.
Lauren:
That's because you're looking at his butt.
Ryan Harrison:
Uh, then he's certainly not going to enjoy that treat I just fed to him.
Cass Lake:
Cass Lake.
Ryan Harrison:
No, Ryan Harrison. You're mixing me up with some woman.
Lt. Fergus Falls:
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be held against you. One nation, indivisible, till death do us part.
Violinist:
[
Crying at the violin concert] Oh, that's so sad!
Ryan Harrison:
[
after bus crash] I can't see!
Bus Prisoner:
Take the waste-basket off your head.
Ryan Harrison:
[
Takes it off] I still can't see!
Bus Prisoner:
Take the other one off.
Lt. Fergus Falls:
Alright listen up, people. Our man will be on foot and running. A man that's tired, a man that's possibly hurt will have a stride of 4 ft, 2 and 3/4 inches while wearing boxer shorts. Four feet even, with the restrictions of a brief. Which means he will cover four miles in one hour. He's got an hour and 3/4 start on us. He'll take to the nearest highway. He'll commandeer a car or hop on a truck.
[
Ryan is in a garbage can for hiding on the back of a truck]
Lt. Fergus Falls:
Now, the average elevation in this area is 2,057 feet 2 and ¼ inches, with one exception. He will take any chances, do anything to stay a free man. Climb, hike, rappel. Hell, even fall down a damn mountain.
[
Ryan falls down the steepest hill in the whole wide world inside the garbage can]
Lt. Fergus Falls:
It's a wilderness out there so this citified sophisticate better watch himself. He's in the heart of bear country.
[
Ryan bumps heads with a bear]
Lt. Fergus Falls:
This fiddle player will be hungry, famished, starved. His last meal was twelve hours ago.
[
an eagle feeds Ryan in his nest]
Lt. Fergus Falls:
This boy's on the run. He'll head for the city, a large city. He'll try to lose himself in a crowd.
[
Ryan is at the Million Man March]
Lt. Fergus Falls:
And wherever he goes, he will feel hundreds of eyes are staring his way. No matter what he does, no matter where he goes, he will feel hunted. And my friends, you are looking at the hunter! Bagley!
Sgt. Tina Bagley:
Sir!
Lt. Fergus Falls:
I want roadblocks around a 10-mile radius. Set up communications with all law enforcement. That's state, county, city! Get me Governor Carlson. I may need the National Guard.
[
Waitress walks by]
Lt. Fergus Falls:
Diet coke, no ice. Alright, people. I want Harrison caught in 4 hours and 28 minutes. That will make it exactly high noon. Now let's move it!
Hibbing Goodhue:
[
after being shot] Ouch!
Lt. Fergus Falls:
Guilt or innocence, that's not my job. It's my duty to pick up scum-sucking punks like yourself who are accused of a crime. A jury of twelve really stupid people who are easily swayed by rich, fat-cat, slimy lawyers, who'll do anything but tell the truth, will sit in judgment of you. It's as American as a burrito.
P.A. on the Prison Bus:
Seats in the upright position. Handcuffs and ankle chains must be securely fastened or you will be shot. Exits are clearly marked but you will not be using them. Should you use them you will be shot. On behalf of the State of Minnesota thank you for being arrested and convicted. Sit back and enjoy your bus ride.
Cass Lake:
You see, I think she's my sister.
Ryan Harrison:
Sister?
Cass Lake:
It's like a brother, only you do each other's hair.
Ryan Harrison:
Women and me are like water and fire: wet and flammable.
Ryan Harrison:
Don't move. I've got a gun. Not here, but I got one.
Ryan Harrison:
Your lies are like bananas. They come in big yellow bunches.
Lt. Fergus Falls:
Shoot and gut every animal in the park. Their stomachs might contain something that could be a clue. Donate the meat to charity. The hides can be turned into warm socks for the poor. Grind up the bones for dog food. I want nothing wasted.
Ryan Harrison:
We can go away right now. I pack light. Everything we need is right here in my pants.
Cass Lake:
We're six floors up. No-one can see you.
Off-screen voice:
Hey, Cass. Who's your new friend?
Judge:
Ryan Harrison, a jury of your peers have found you guilty of murder. On August 12th at Stillwater Federal Prison you shall have your sentence carried out. You shall be executed buffet style: lethally injected, electrocuted, and placed before a firing squad. May God have mercy on your soul, you bastard you.
Lt. Fergus Falls:
[
when they realize that Cass Lake is helping Harrison] Call motor vehicles. Get her address.
Sgt. Orono:
We'll pick her up
Lt. Fergus Falls:
No. No. There are better ways to find out what a woman knows.
Sgt. Orono:
Dinner and a movie, lie to her, say you love her.
Lt. Fergus Falls:
That works, but in this case we're going to stake out her place. She's going to lead us to Ryan Harrison.
Lt. Fergus Falls:
There are two things that frost my butt: It's a snow cone about that high, and the other one is Ryan Harrison.
Ryan Harrison:
[
to Cass] When you shot me at point blank range, I knew you loved me.
Ruth the News Anchor:
Good afternoon I'm Ruth Kimbell with your hometown news. For 36 hours Ryan Harrison, Murderer, all around big dink has been a fugitive. Lt. Fergus Falls is heading a worldwide manhunt. Police helicopters, dogs, psychics, and thousands of police are involved. Plus millions of average citizens who would give their left nut to collect the 50 thousand dollar reward, and who couldn't use a bit of extra money? A couple on a fixed income, a teacher, especially a struggling artist who had to return a large fee because someone hated her portrait. I personally wouldn't trust somebody like that for a million, billion, trillion dollars. Columbia heights jamboree is shaping-
[
Ryan mutes the TV. The newscaster begins freaking out because she cannot hear herself]
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