Celebrity (1998)

Judy Davis: Robin Simon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Robin Simon : It's luck, Lee. No matter what the shrinks or the pundits or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.

• Robin Simon : How did I manage to swing this? Last year I was teaching English, performing a serious function. And suddenly, through a whirlwind series of events I've become a kind of woman I've always hated, but I'm happier.

• [sighting celebrities at a screening] 

  Tony Gardella : Oh, and getting out of the elevator I see there's a famous critic.

  Robin Simon : Him, I recognize.

  Tony Gardella : Oh, he used to hate every movie. Then, he married a young, big-bosomed woman, and now he loves every movie.

• Dee Bartholomew : I ran into our Tony Gardello at the Cafe Carlyle. He had a blissed-out look like he had died and gone to heaven. How did you manage to put that smile on his face?

  Robin Simon : Using my head...

• Robin Simon : [affecting a Southern accent]  I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...

• Robin Simon : [to Lee]  I hope you catch a break.

• Robin Simon : [to Lee]  So, who else do you wanna explore? Allison?

• Robin Simon : There wouldn't be any ticks around here, would there? I mean, I'd hate to get Lyme disease.

  Priest at Catholic Retreat : We've had no casualties, so far.

• Jan - Robin's Friend : When my husband left me for his secretary, I was lost. And someone said, "You're Catholic. You were raised a Catholic. How could you even contemplate a hit man?" And they told me about this retreat.

  Robin Simon : But, I'm not religious.

  Jan - Robin's Friend : Nor am I. You think I lead a religious life? I have two divorces and two abortions. But, just to take a break from the chaos of the city to reflect.

• Robin Simon : All I'm good at is Chaucer.

• Robin Simon : I wanted to learn it from someone who'd teach it to me - down and dirty. If you know what I mean.

  Nina - the Hooker : I'm just wondering where'd we begin?

  Robin Simon : How about oral sex? Because, you know, somehow I feel it - you know, it really doesn't come naturally to me. I feel it's labored. You know, I have trouble breathing, actually, and once a cap for my tooth fell off and I swallowed it.

  Nina - the Hooker : Do you enjoy it?

  Robin Simon : I certainly don't mind it.

  Nina - the Hooker : Do you enjoy it? Well, what goes through your mind when you're doing it?

  Robin Simon : The crucifixion. I can't help it. It's my upbringing.

  Nina - the Hooker : Okay. All right. Well, look, why don't you just show me how you do it. Go ahead.

  Robin Simon : Now?

  Nina - the Hooker : Yeah, go ahead. Take the banana and give me your best blow job. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Down the hatch.

  [Robin demonstrates] 

  Nina - the Hooker : Oh, my God. Have you ever injured him?

• Robin Simon : It's interesting to see who we choose as our celebrities, you know. And why?What makes them tick. You know, you can learn a lot about a society by who it chooses to celebrate.

• Robin Simon : Excuse me! The skinheads are here.