Jungle 2 Jungle (1997)

Martin Short: Richard Kempster

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richard Kempster : [yelling at the airport]  Oh, God! I'm dead! I've lost my house! Where will my children live?

• [Richard, Michael and Mimi exit Jovanovic's office] 

  Michael Cromwell : Richard, are you out of your mind? Now we're laundering money for the Russian mafia?

  Richard Kempster : Yes, we are, and we'll iron it for them too.

• [Michael and Richard are aguing about being a parent, while Richard tries to get Karen out of her room] 

  Richard Kempster : Oh, what? Are you suddenly Dr Spock here? You've been a father for three days. And you're giving me lessons? Well, that's good.

  Michael Cromwell : You sound like an idiot.

  Richard Kempster : I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.

• Michael Cromwell : I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.

  Richard Kempster : I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?

• [after Michael and Mimi depart from a taxi cab] 

  Michael Cromwell : We're meeting this guy at a fish stall?

  Richard Kempster : No, no. He is ABOVE a fish stall.

  Michael Cromwell : Much better!

• Richard Kempster : Come out, honey, or Andrew is going to smoke you out.

  Andrew Kempster : Cool!

  Richard Kempster : [whispering]  I was kidding!

• Richard Kempster : That's it, Andrew, bite him! Use those crooked teeth!

• Alexei Jovanovic : You make a fool of Jovanovic.

  Richard Kempster : No.

  Alexei Jovanovic : In front of my comrades and my community. You waste my time, you try to cheat me!

  [Jovanovic takes out a knife] 

  Alexei Jovanovic : Now, you must pay! Sit still, coward! Now, I teach you never,

  [grabs Richard's right arm] 

  Alexei Jovanovic : NEVER to make fool of Jovanovic again!

• Richard Kempster : What are you doing?

  Mimi-Siku : Feed Matica.

  Richard Kempster : What's "Matica"?

  [sees the tarantula in the basket] 

  Richard Kempster : *louder-than-average-screaming*