Ray:
What can I do for you Max?
Max:
You can wipe that my-shit-don't-stink grin off your face.
Sheriff:
Oh, and did this killer use his hook to cut all your hair off?
Helen:
No, he used scissors, asshole.
Elyssa:
Is the dried-out, washed-up has-been having a moment?
Helen:
We should have a plan. Angela Lansbury always had a plan.
Helen:
By that time I'll just be finishing my two year contract with Guiding Light, coinciding with your first year as starting quarterback for the Steelers.
Barry:
Cowboys.
Helen:
Whatever. Then we can elope to Europe, or the Caymans, wherever, where I'll let you impregnate me with the first of 3 children before you head off to rehab. Then we can live happily, blah blah blah.
Helen:
Well Bob, at summer's end I plan on moving to New York where I'll pursue a career as a serious actress. It's my goal to entertain the world through artistic expression. Through art I shall serve my country.
Julie:
Barry, stop!
Barry:
No! Wake up, Julie. He's behind all this! How many fucked up fisherman are out there?
Ray:
Look, he's after me too! I got a letter.
Barry:
Oh, you got a letter? I got run over! Helen gets her hair chopped off, Julie gets a body in her trunk, and you get a letter? That's balanced!
Julie:
We need help.
Barry:
I'll say. You two should check out a mirror sometime. You look like shit run over twice.
Helen:
Come sit in the back. I'll let you do things to me.
Ray:
I never knew her breasts were so... ample.
Barry:
I know what you did last summer?
[
Sarcastic]
Barry:
Ooooooh! What a crock of shit.
[
the killer threatens Julie with his ice hook]
Ben Willis:
Happy Fourth of July, Julie!
Julie:
[
Terrified] Please... it was an accident!
Ben Willis:
I know all about accidents, and let me give you some advice: Next time you leave a man for dead, make sure he's REALLY dead!
Helen:
Listen, you little shit-stick-mayberry-ass reject. There's been a murder, and you are going to fry in hell if you ignore it!
Ben Willis:
You in some kind of trouble child?
Julie:
Yes, yeah I'm in a lot of trouble.
Ben Willis:
That's a shame, being that it's the 4th of July and all. Kids like you should be out having fun. Drinking, partying, running people over, getting away with murder... things like that.
Julie:
Helen, we killed a man and ruined the lives of everyone he knew.
Helen:
I don't think we were that powerful Julie, you're giving us way to much credit.
Barry:
How do you know this is even related? You did a lot of things last summer.
Julie:
Yeah, well, only one murder comes to mind.
Ray:
See, no one gets me the way you do.
Julie:
I understand your pain.
Julie:
Guys... Hi... I'm on sexist overload as it is, kill the commentary.
Helen:
Hey, its all about the hair. Don't you forget that. Especially when you become some big hotshot lawyer. Those professional types think its all about brains and ability and completely ignore the do
Julie:
So, the do is vital, got it
Barry:
A toast... to us, to our last summer of immature, adolescent decadence.
Helen:
Somebody's buzzed.
Julie:
I hate this, I really hate this. Your gonna go and your gonna fall for some head-shaven, black-wearin, tattoo-covered, body-piercing philosophy student."
Ray:
That sounds attractive.
Barry:
Nobody drives my car but me, you got that shit smear?
Julie:
[
to Barry] Can you say alcoholic?
Barry:
We're going to go home now and never ever under any circumstances known to God- speak about this again. Is that clear? It's now a future therapy bill.
Max:
You almost got that rich boy act down Ray.
Deb:
Julie, get your white as death-chalky ass corpse in the car-now.
Julie:
Please, it's a fictional story created to warn young girls of the dangers of having premarital sex.
Ray:
Well actually honey, you know how terrified I am of your IQ but it's an urban legend, American folklore and they all usually originate from some real life incident.
Barry:
Even if his body washes ashore in the next couple of weeks, he'll be eaten by crabs and small fish. Maybe we'll get lucky with a shark. Take him to the side.
Barry:
We're going home now and never, ever, under any circumstances known to God speak about this again is that clear? It is now merely a future therapy bill agreed?
Barry:
[
screaming] Helen?
Helen:
I'll never mention it again.
Barry:
We make a pact, right here and now we take this to our grave.
Ray:
Agreed.
Barry:
Julie?
[
Julie nods her head in agreement]
Barry:
[
livid] Don't you nod your head, you fuckin say it.
Julie:
[
somber] Yeah okay.
Barry:
[
Barry runs and grabs Julie by the neck pushing her against the car] We take this to our grave, let me hear it.
Ray:
Let her go Barry.
Barry:
You fucking say it!
Julie:
Okay Barry, we take this to the grave.
Barry:
We made a pact and we're keeping it.
Barry:
Okay let's suppose someone was there that night, why send the letter one year later? It's probably some crack fucking around.
[
Suddently realizes who it may be]
Barry:
Max!
Max:
Well go figure, I was just thinking to myself what ever happened to that Barry Cox?
Barry:
[
being very polite] Hey Max. Hey listen can we talk for a sec? In private?
Max:
Oh what this isn't private enough for you?
Max:
Mother fucker. Don't you test me mother fucker, I'll call the cops on your college quarterback ass.
Julie:
Yeah but this is insane now Barry look at us, this secret's killing us.
Barry:
I'm not going to the police and you're not either.
Julie:
Barry please, we could put an end to it and maybe salvage some small fraction of a life.
Barry:
And how do we do that? Huh? There was no accident Julie it was murder, your words remember? Murder. I say we find the fuck who's doing this and have a little one on one.
Helen:
What happened to us? We used to be best friends.
Julie:
We used to be a lot of things.
Helen:
Yeah, Jodie Foster tried this and a skin-ripping serial killer answered the door!
Elyssa:
[
to Helen] You and your hair, it's so pathetic.
Barry:
What is it with you Ray? You were dogging us from the start weren't you? Always wanting to be our friend, always wanting to be one of us but you were too fucking jealous to handle it
Ray:
Fuck you!
Barry:
[
to Ray] And since you bring it up... we all know *you* have a slicker.
[
Barry has just seen the damage to his new car after hitting someone in the road]
Barry:
[
Almost besides himself from rage] FUCK! Can't you watch where you're going?
Ray:
Hey, it came outta nowhere, I didn't see it!
Julie:
Wait.
Ray:
What?
Julie:
Should we check his wallet and see who he is?
Barry:
Why?
Julie:
I don't know okay, just to know.
Helen:
I don't want to know.
Barry:
Let's just pretend he's some escaped lunatic with a hook for a hand and we're doing everybody a favor.
Ray:
So that's him huh? Hard to believe that's the guy.
Barry:
Yeah his face isn't splattered all over the road dumbass.
Helen:
Christ already, I'll do it!
[
dumps dead body in water]
Julie:
Wait a second. I remember he had her name tattooed on his arm. I saw it.
Ray:
We have to think about this...
Julie:
About what? About what? He was crossing the road in the middle of the night! It was an accident!
Related Links
*
