An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1997) Poster

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2/10
Even the insincerity is fake...
majikstl24 May 2004
I am willing to bet that when the principle players in the making of AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM: BURN, H0LLYW00D, BURN got together and read the script they probably found it hilarious. But they were probably drunk, stoned or deep into jet lag at the time. But somewhere between that first reading and the film's release, someone surely must have sobered up and noticed just how badly this film fails to deliver.

The film is bad not just because it is bad, but because it coulda/shoulda been pretty good. Joe Eszterhas's script is sophisticated and savage and full of inside jokes. The direction by Arthur Hiller/Alan Smithee cleverly juggles ideas and viewpoints. And most of the cast give credible performances, even the nonprofessionals who contribute cameos. Obviously, everyone thought they were making a pretty good movie. In the end, the film is smart and pointed and even insightful, but it is never, never, never, never even remotely funny.

It is hard to pinpoint just why the film ends up being so depressingly blah, but a good guess would be that it is a matter of attitude. ALAN SMITHEE is just so insultingly smug. Everybody involved is basically making fun of themselves, but not in jovial, lighthearted way. The self-deprecation is condescending: "See," they all seem to be saying, "I called myself a bastard before you had a chance. Nyah, nyah, nyah!!! I beat you to the punch." I mean what is the point of self mockery if it is intended to belittle someone else? Even the most mean-spirited of satires require a degree of innocence; a posture that allows the audience to find the humor and the hypocrisy for themselves, rather than to have it force fed to them. For instance, the film's structure, basically a series of talking head interviews, demands that the interview blurbs seem spontaneous, not preprocessed and rehearsed. Hiller skillful stages these little snatches of interviews as though they are being given on the fly, in different places and at different times, but they still seem canned. Even the characters' insincerity should seem sincerely insincere, not like tossed-off one-liners at a Friars Club roast. Even though everyone involved is obviously in on the joke, they shouldn't appear to be.

And a major inexplicable problem is the whole black thing the film seems to be doing. This is a satire about a British director and bunch of Beverly Hills/movie studio suits, so why does the film feature rap music, African-American themed title credits and references to black directors? Is black cinema supposed to be the new New Wave or avant-garde? Is it supposed to be like references to beatniks in the fifties and hippies in the sixties, a clumsy attempt to make the squares seem hip and to make the story seem relevant (when ultimately it will only make the film seem quickly dated)? The film can't fake sincerity, why do the filmmakers think they can fake soul?

In the end, ALAN SMITHEE seems to be little more than a home movie, a gag reel to be played at the office Christmas party. If that were the case, I suspect that all involved would still find the material funny. But, what happens at the Christmas party should stay at the Christmas party, otherwise it can just be too embarrassing.
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2/10
An Alan Smithee Review
Falcon-5131 March 2000
Just awful. This was an absolute waste of my time. I can't believe I was able to sit through this trash long enough so that I could post and honest review. The film is about a director whose film is so badly changed by the forces in film making that he chooses to take his name off the credits. In the event that a director chooses not to accept authorship of a film the director's guild allows a pseudonym of Alan Smithee. The director must also have a hearing by the director's guild to get this approval. Unfortunately in this film, Alan Smithee is the director's real name. So now Alan Smithee must find another way to dispose of the film. The film is supposed to be a comedy, but I can assure you it's not funny.

He's the interesting part. This film was edited twice once by director Arthur Hiller and once by writer Joe Eszterhas. When the film company Cinergi Pictures prefers Eszterhas editing to Hiller's, Hiller did a real world "Alan Smithee" and won approval. If you want to know just how bad of a writer Eszterhas really is watch the 1995 movie "Showgirls".
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3/10
God awful
richdvk4 July 2003
I love Eric Idle, I love Coolio and Chuck D, but I really really dislike this movie. A mishmash of celebrity cameos who collectively narrate possibly the most boring story ever told, albeit in a misleadingly fun manner.
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5/10
Not as bad as you might think
Dan_Harkless16 October 2000
I disagree with the people here saying this is one of the worst films ever made. I'm somewhat of a connosieur of bad films, and that just isn't the case. It's competently put together from front to back, but the script definitely could have used another draft or two.

At its worst, it's just unfunny, not mind-bendingly horrible as some would have you to believe. Certainly if you know nothing about the inner workings of Hollywood you won't understand the references and almost none of it will be funny.

I'm sure there were lots of references I didn't understand -- I get the feeling people working in Hollywood would get more out of this movie than the rest of us. One odd reference is the repeated name of "Michael Ovitz" throughout the movie. It appears in the song "I Wanna Be Michael Ovitz" in the soundtrack, there's a "Paging Dr. Ovitz..." in the background in a hospital, etc. It's not quite clear what writer Eszterhas's feelings toward Ovitz are -- does he hate him or look up to him?

Another thing I don't understand is why director Arthur Hiller felt he had to change his credit to "Alan Smithee", except that it's amusingly appropriate. Looking at the film, I can't imagine that it was changed too radically in the editing, except perhaps the ultra-acidic put-downs on the title cards that introduce new characters.
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This movie is good
lochrianx29 July 2002
I saw this movie like, three years ago on HBO, or something, and I thought it was awesome. So I decided to see what people on the net had to say about it, and I was shocked. Apparently everyone and there mother hates this film. I don't know why. Sure it's no masterpiece, but only a handful of movies are. When Roger Ebert said it was worst than Showgirls, he went too far. At worst, I expected reviews like 2/5 stars, or 4.5/10 points. Instead I got things like 0 stars, something I didn't even know existed. I could see people didn't like the way the actors looked at the screen (even though it was a mockumentary), or the way you can't care too much for any one character (even though it's a satire, in which society as a whole should look bad). The movie has an odd flow to it (is that bad?), which I found cool. I Don't see why people can praise films like "Memento" (which told a story in an unconventional way, just like "Burn"), or "Spinal Tap" (which has no real plot, just like "Burn"), and not give this movie, and at least average review. If you can find it, watch it and decide for yourself, don't take the word of these flakers and perpetrators.
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1/10
One of the worst I've ever seen
Mitch399626 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This film basically builds its entire plot around one joke - he hates his film, but can't use the Alan Smithee pseudonym like other directors as it's his real name. That in itself is just ridiculous, which leads me to question how this trash ever got made.

A big problem is it can't decide if it wants to be a movie with a plot or a mockumentary. About half the film concerns the aforementioned premise, while the other half is just famous people making cameos, and when they talk making endless references to other films. The references are far too obvious and just come off as cheesy and stupid-sounding.

The film also thinks that just because celebs are playing themselves, if they say profane stuff it will automatically be funny. And it isn't. At All.

I didn't hate writer Joe Eszterhas' earlier film Showgirls as much as some did, however this film just has no redeeming qualities.
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1/10
Are you a masochist? An Alan Smithee Film is for you!
Ivanhoe19 August 1998
I just saw this film, An Alan Smithee Film, and it is absolutely the most excruciating film I've ever seen. It's no wonder Arthur Hiller took his name off this film. I wasn't sure what was supposed to be funny and what was supposed to be straight. Even the outtakes during the credits were so not funny that it was painful to watch. In summary, avoid this movie at all costs. The world will be a better place for you if you do.
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1/10
My Two Cents
lambiepie-214 August 2004
All I can think about this horrid piece of crap is:

"Oh, Jesus Christ."

The "idea" of this movie is a good idea. The execution of this film was the worst. Some say, "Well it's an inside Hollywood joke." No, it isn't. "Kid Notorious" on Comedy Central is an inside Hollywood joke. Joe Ester-whosits is an inside Hollywood joke -- that continues to get a paycheck. But...there isn't anything actually WRONG with that..as we can all see, there are many inside Hollywood jokes that are getting paychecks while talent is still knocking at the door.

As I've written, the IDEA of this film was a savvy one -- it just doesn't transfer--or makes sense -- in this film. We all know who "Alan Smithee" is and its kinda funny to see a real "Alan Smithee" want to take his make off of a film. Funny -- for about 15 seconds. Then we have a whole 'nother hour or so of this movie to go, of nothing but pure hell masquerading as "a Hollywood inside joke".

The guy who writes on Bazooka Joe Bubble Gum wrappers would have done this film better. Much Better. 'Oscar' Caliber better. Okay, I went a bit too far on the last better comparison.

Or did I?!?!?
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1/10
The WORST movie of the 1990'S!!!
shaun9827 January 2000
Joe Eszterhas is not the best writer in the world, but this is just pathetic. All we get is a bunch of talking heads that speak to the camera for an interminable period of time. The plot is practically nonexistent, the dialogue is lame, the acting pretty crummy, and the direction uninspired.

The result: an extremely boring, tedious, pointless mess. This film has no reason to exist. It offers no real insight into the studio system. It was made just so Joe could badmouth the studio execs who were presumely mean to him. Ironically, it turns out he's just as bad, as he recut the film against director Authur Hiller's wishes.

In short, "Burn Hollywood Burn" represents just about everything that can possibly be bad about a movie. It should be mandatory viewing for film students as a warning of the depths to which the medium can sink.

NOTE: Hiller removed his name from the project-so now it's really an Alan Smithee film!!

Rating: ZERO STARS!!!

86min/Released by Hollywood Pictures
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1/10
Amazing how unentertainingly bad this is!
AlanSmitheeFilms13 July 2001
This confounds in its badness. And I know "badness" is not a word, but "Burn Hollywood Burn" is not a movie, and that didn't stop them.

All the actors in it should be ashamed... except Ryan O'Neil, whose performance actually stood out and was pretty good. But, that's all there was in this picture that was good. The music, the directing, the editing, and especially, the writing. Joe Eszterhas can chalk yet another bomb to his over-paid resume.
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1/10
An Alan Smithee Film...The Irony!
J-198430 June 2001
This film is awful, it is one of the only films I have not been able to sit through, and I am very tolerable. The reason I watched this film was that I thought the adverts for it looked hilarious, and I was extremely disappointed. I'd give this film 2/10, and that's being very fair. The acting is atrocious as is the film. However the Sly Stallone "interviews" are quite funny, but they are a small part of the film and nowhere near good enough to redeem it!
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8/10
Very funny poke at Hollywood
rhinehold29 July 2002
I can't believe the negative quotes for this movie. Sure, it isn't the fastest paced movie in the world, but for sheer parody of Hollywood it works quite well. Especially the Whoopie, Stallone and Jackie Chan parts.
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6/10
Engagingingly funny, but for a limited audience
n8186w7 October 2005
If you are in the feature film industry, what makes this picture so funny is the close parody... some of the characters appear to be modeled on real people. It would not be too far a stretch of the imagination to believe that two of the characters are parodies of Peter Guber and John Peters of Sony Pictures. Read the true story of these two guys' careers, documented in the book, Hit and Run, then watch Burn Hollywood Burn again. You will probably find the film twice as entertaining as the first time you watched it. After having last watched the film 7 years ago, I bought the DVD this week because I wanted to see if I could grab the title track that I liked, and I also clearly remembered (and liked) the graffiti art that was drawn for the movie title. Once I got the DVD in my hands, though, I watched the film all the way through again, and enjoyed it every bit as much as the first time I saw it.
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1/10
Worthy of it's 1998 Razzie award.
beejer24 March 1999
There's not many films that I haven't been able to sit through, but this was one of them. Believe me, it's that bad. It's certainly worthy of the title - "An Alan Smithee film." What a waste of talent. What are people like Eric Idle, Sandra Bernhard, Sylvester Stallone and yes, even Ryan O'Neal doing in this film. The premise of the film is good - the taking away of a completed film from its director and having it mutilated without his consent. Must have really happened. This idea in the hands of a more competent team, say like the Zuckers, could have resulted in a much funnier film along the lines of Airplane or Top Secret.
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Starts well as a potential satire but does very little with it
bob the moo6 July 2003
Real life director Alan Smithee is an editor by trade but is signed up to direct the action movie `Trio' starring Whoopi Goldberg, Sly Stallone and Jackie Chan. However when the producer's final cut leaves it, in Alan's opinion, a mess, he steals the master negative and runs. This documentary follows the story of what happens when a director is forced to watch his art turned into a poor money spinner.

I hadn't really read the very negative reviews of this film before I watched it and am a little surprised by the strength of feeling from the majority of the critics. Having said that, I can understand why this film is so hammered – as it really isn't very good. It started well and I thought it had potential – it seemed that people were making fun of themselves and that it would be a good satire on the industry and in particular, studio execs. However after a certain point it doesn't really do very much other than be flabby, repeating, self indulgent and silly. After Alan actually takes his film and seeks refuge with the Brothers Brothers, the film is very messy and not very funny at all. The documentary approach had worked well up till this point but from here it was a strange mix of action and documentary. It gets increasingly silly and increasingly less clever and funny.

It had a few laughs but satire is meant to be funny – not just taking easy pot shots with crude characterisations and jokes. I still maintain it had potential but it is a good idea crying out for a better script and director (I notice it is directed by Smithee – I don't know if that's a joke or if the real director really did disown it). So from a good idea it goes nowhere – the little touches are nice but the total plot is rubbish. In away it is both made worse and more bearable by the actors, who are a mixed bunch.

Eric Idol is awful and he simply doesn't suit the material – watch the scene where he turns his hat sideways and says `cool' and you'll see what I mean. Chuck D should really have known better than to deliver a meaningless performance here – although I totally expect that from Coolio! However, Stallone, Goldberg and Chan are all quite funny and make fun of themselves quite well. O'Neal and colleague as the producers are quite good but are dumbly stretched to extremes for the sake of humour. For the majority of the cast there seems to be a problem gelling – it feels like every single person thinks they are in a cameo and thus add to the feeling of this not being a film so much as a cobbled together affair. The support cast is good for names but the quality of delivery isn't really that high.

Overall I'd stop short of adding to the list of boots that have been put into this film, but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't feel like I'd waste 90 minutes – I do. It started with a good idea but the script was nowhere near sharp enough and the majority of the cast (certainly those required to carry the film and not just be cameos) are just not up to the job. Could have been a fun satire but instead is an unfunny messy affair that doesn't really have anywhere to go beyond taking easy shots at the producers.
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1/10
Well, it's not Human Highway.
keeleymw8 October 2000
I found this in a video store tonight after wanting for years to see it.. when it was being made, because the concept was so intriguing and hearing that it starred Eric Idle, and later when I found out that Arthur Hiller had taken his name off the film, and that it was written by Joe Esterhas, I still wanted to see it, but instead out of my love of bad cinema, rather than out of hopes of it being a quality film. The sad thing is that it had a lot of potential -- it _sounds_ like it could be a great film if you just look at the plot. It's just too bad that Joe Esterhas can only write comedy when he's not intending to.

I pretty much hold Human Highway as my measuring stick of Bad Movies. Like Highway, it's only 80 minutes and feels like it's much longer, but it doesn't seem as relentlessly bad. There's actual bits where you might have a single, solitary "heh" at some of the jokes. The third act is by far the worst, though, where half of it is reused footage from earlier in the movie... and well, the whole bit with the Tarzan Yell I _don't_ get at all. And the whole Brothers Bros. bit gets kinda muddled, but hey.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool.

Ugh.
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1/10
Burn this movie
ryangilmer00713 July 2006
Burn Hollywood Burn is a terrible movie in every sense of the word and its only redeeming quality is because of an accident that occurred after filming concluded.

On concept this high brow yet simple movie of mockery is a thing of genius. I mean make a movie about a guy named Alen Smithee whom is losing control of a big budget movie. However, he cannot disavow the movie because he is the "fake name" he is Alen Smithee. Now thats funny (but maybe only if you know movie history?) Perhaps it is to high brow because nobody went to see this film. OR perhaps it is to English (ie Eric Idle as the leading role). Or perhaps it is just plan terrible.

The movie basically, rather than poking fun at Hollywood and the stream of never ending big budget special effect extravaganzas (which Eric Idle's character is making 1 of), pokes fun at itself instead. It jokes about the movie being made is worse than Showgirls (BHB is from the writer of Showgirls), but in reality the movie (BHB) itself is worse than Showgirls.

The actors just don't have any fun and are not very good.

They are stuck in the middle of hamming it up and actually acting.

This is probably because the fake movie is supposed to be bad, but instead that badness overflows into the real movie.

Jackie Chan, Sly Stallone, and Whoppie Goldberg cameo as overpaid and past their prime actors demanding huge wages and silly concessions and while some aspects are true, they don't all apply to the actors (Jackie Chan wanting like red M&ms taken out or something?) Anyway, the movie turned out to be directed by Alan Smithee which is almost a saving grace, but it had to be the writers cut which survived to get that moniker and not the directors cut. (the incident occurring after filming wrapped) Perhaps doing as such was a lame attempt to save a lame movie, but this movie about making a bad movie turned out to be just that= aka A BAD movie
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1/10
Did not disappoint my expectations
siebenschlaefer20 March 2002
It´s probably my problem that I always expect more from a film than it actually can show to me. But this film did NOT disappoint my expectations: I wanted to watch a very bad movie and I did. This is an Alan Smithee Film at its best (worst): 1/10.

P.S. Don´t miss Sylvester Stallone´s best acting ever.
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1/10
Is this some sick joke???
grendel-2522 March 1999
This film is so ungodly awful that despite the jokes not being funny, I couldn't stop laughing. How could this happen? How can the people involved with this still have jobs? How did Whoopi go from this to hosting the Academy Awards?

So bad you may enjoy it, especially recommended for a home version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It is on cable now, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you PAY MONEY FOR THIS.
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1/10
Aaaaaaargh!
twilightseer18 August 2000
What an awful flick ! I caught it yesterday as it was aired on French TV and I couldn't believe it. I had read several IMDb reviews and I expected the movie to be ... I'll say "not very good". But this ! Let's face it: not only is this whole thing stupid (though it was probably meant to be very clever), ridiculous and humiliating for the actors (all of them, no exception) but it's also boring to an inconceivable extent. In fact, I'm not sure that these words actually reflect how lame this thing is. Kudos to all the people who managed to see it from the beginning to the end without running away (I left after 45 minutes). This is undoubtedly one of the worst things I've ever seen. Avoid it like the plague !
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1/10
One of the absolute worst movies ever made.
bamatommy9 August 2002
This piece of crap is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I only watched about twenty minutes of it before I hit rewind. It's like a fake documentary about Hollywood, with all these big shots making an appearance, but it's just not worth the price of a rental. Whoever made this movie should be banned from ever making another film.
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1/10
I'm still hurting
cmt-216 March 1999
...two weeks after having attempted to sit through this thing. The pain I felt while watching this unfunny slop is comparable to the pain I felt while watching OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK and MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE! If ever a movie deserved a spot on the bottom 100, it's this one.
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9/10
Essentially "inside" jokes
williamodouglas6 January 2001
If you work in the film industry, you'll probably find it very funny. Or at least quite amusing. If you are employed in some other fashion, you will likely think this film ridiculous. It is not, however, in the same league as The Player or S.O.B. (from which this film seems to have "borrowed" one basic story concept).
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7/10
Highly underrated
FFT530520 February 2004
This film is actually a rather intelligent, if cynical, satire of the shallow and idiotic nature of Hollywood. More cameos than you can shake a stick at. Ryan O'Neal is great as an amoral producer. Eric Idle is even better as an unfortunate director named Alan Smithee whose movie is corrupted by the studio. He wants to remove his name from the movie, but since Alan Smithee is the pseudonym used for directors who want to remove their name from a picture, he is out of luck and becomes... unbalanced. Very dry, but very amusing. If you liked Last Action Hero and Purple Rose of Cairo, you'll probably like this.
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1/10
Terrible
MagMan5 June 1999
I have never not bothered to watch the end of a movie, until now. This is the only movie I have ever seen where I just couldn't face watching the end, I just swiched off and watched some paint dry in the next room! Avoid at all costs.
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